I was having a hard time getting my head around that one.
But I didn’t know if it was true or not.
And there was something more that troubled me.
I wasn’t a virgin. And there were no records of me losing my virginity in my journals.
In my earlier journals, I talked about wanting to be with someone I loved when I lost my virginity. Then it was like I’d just forgotten about it.
I only knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore because my mother did a virginity test on me when I woke from the reset. She claimed it was standard procedure because of my upcoming nuptials. When she discovered I wasn’t a virgin, she looked thrown.
I didn’t know what to say and only prayed I hadn’t lost it to Thayden.
He reached out and cupped my jaw. “I know you’re still getting used to me, but you will. You always come back to me.”
“Do I?” I genuinely wanted to know.
“Always. And no matter how many times your memory resets and you forget me, I’ll be here waiting to remind you how much I love you.”
Discomfort spread through my body like frost in the first kiss of winter. I found it hard to speak, but I tried, just to say something. “I appreciate you.”
“I know.” He nodded and smiled. “Come on, I’ll get you inside and comfortable by the fire.”
“Okay.”
Agree with everything.
Grandmother had warned against any form of defiance. Other things had changed during last month’s loop. King Varis was dying.
He’d fallen ill during an expedition beyond the eastern wards. Some said it was a blight carried on the wind. Whatever it was, it had left him weak and bedbound, his court restless and hungry for certainty.
And with him fading, so, too, was the protection he’d always afforded my family, especially in my father’s absence.
King Varis went above and beyond to protect us because Father was one of his closest friends. With him on the verge of death, his son, Maelor, was set to take over.
Maelor wasn’t like his father. He loathed the idea of anyone magical—like my family—having claim to any form of property in the mortal lands.
Thayden’s father, Mattieu, had stepped in as the interim hand of the king tosteady the realmand oversee matters until the crown had passed.
That meant that once King Varis died, the people in power would be Maelor, Mattieu, and Thayden, the new commander of the King’s Guard.
That was why this marriage had to happen. If it didn’t, Maelor would see to it that we lost everything—our home, lands, and standing in Stormfell.
My father had been made Warden of the South. That title would dissolve with King Varis’ passing, along with everything else.
Thayden stood and held his hand to take mine.
I picked up my journal and gave him my hand, rising when he guided me to stand.
No matter what happened to me, my one constant was my family.
I would do anything for them.
Even marry a man I didn’t love.
We walked back toward the manor, but the forest still called to me. Willing me to go in.
But I kept walking pretending I felt nothing.
