He shook his head. “No, you’re right we can’t rely on the fucking ring.”
“Alaric calm down.”
“How the fuck can a sacrifice do this?” He ignored my request and got even more agitated. “What is a hundred years in the life of the Fae when we live for thousands of years?”
I’d thought the same thing but Bastian set me straight. “It’s about our essence. Mine was already impaired from the curse. Taking a hundred years from my life meant taking parts of my essence that would enable me to live that long.”
He stared back at me, speechless, and a faraway look entered his eyes. “We have to find a way.”
I waved my hand over the books. “I’m looking through the old books Father got to help Mother.”
“We need strong magic.”
“There is no magic for this. And if it progresses…” I said calmly, “I need you to take care of it.”
Alaric’s breath stilled. “What the fuck do you mean by that?Take care of it?”
“Alaric, I need you to kill me.” I said the words easily, although nothing about the request was easy. I’d wrestled with the damning solution since Bastian dropped the bomb on me.
My brother stepped closer, eyes wide, shaking his head. “You fucking asshole. How dare you?”
“You will do it.”
“We will find another way.”
“There is no other way if I lose control. You see what I become when I use death magic. The difference between that and me being a soulless creature is I will killeveryoneandeverything in my path without thought. You won’t be able to reason with me.”
His jaw clenched and a pained look filled his eyes. “You cannot ask me to do this.”
“Weeks ago, on the ship, you offered to help. This is what I need you to do.”
“Killing my brother is not what I meant.”
“I will not roam my own kingdom harvesting souls,” I said evenly. “I will not become the thing that cursed us.”
“You are not your curse, Wolfe.”
“If I fully transform, I will be.”
The thought of not being around cut me deep, but the worry of becoming my curse was worse.
“Do not let Bastian do it,” I added. “He would never forgive himself. And Garrick—” I exhaled slowly. “Garrick still carries light. He’s the guy who balances bad with good. Do not stain him with this.”
Alaric’s eyes darkened.
“And me?” he asked quietly. “You don’t think I’ll feel guilty?”
“Do not speak to me of guilt.” I couldn’t restrain the heavy emotion in my voice. “I had to killoursister.Me.I killed Zyrra. And then I had to throw her body into the mouth of Mount Luuienaire.”
His expression shifted.
“All these years and you’ve never said anything to me about it. Not one way or the other.” I hardened my stare. “So please don’t speak to me about guilt when I suffered alone.”
“I couldn’t talk about it.” He gave his head a shake. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to make you feel better without making you feel worse. Or myself.” He blew out a ragged breath. “Part of me…hatedyou. I understood why you had to do it—why you had to kill her—and I forgave you even though you weren’t in the wrong. But still… I couldn’t help myself.”
I’d been right. All these long years I knew my suspicions were right. I just loathed the confirmation. “I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have found a cure. I would have sat by Zyrra’s side for all eternity if I could and took care of her. Anything but death. Death atmyhand.”
“I know.” Alaric nodded slowly and there was a newfound respect in his eyes for me. “You loved her dearly. She loved you the same. And I think that whatever was left of her mind and heart would have thanked you for the mercy you gave her.”
