“You need to stay here and take care of yourself and the baby,” Blair says gently. “That’s what Jake would want.”
“Jake would want me there.” My legs feel weak, unsteady. Blair guides me back down to the couch, sitting close beside me. “I made a mistake. I told him I needed space, but I don’t. I don’t need space. I need him.”
“I know,” Blair says softly.
“No, you don’t understand.” I turn to look at her, and everything I’ve been holding back for the past week comes pouring out. “He told me he loved me. He wanted to marry me, for us to be a family. And I panicked. I told him I needed space, and I left. I walked out on him.”
Wyatt’s face is pained. He already knows this, but hearing me say it out loud makes it real in a different way.
“The last thing he heard from me was that I couldn’t do this. That I needed to be alone.” My voice breaks completely. “And now he’s lying in a hospital bed unconscious, and I can’t even tell him I was wrong. That I love him. That I want everything he was offering me, and I was just too scared to say it.”
Blair pulls me into her arms, and I dissolve. I’m sobbing into her shoulder, my whole body shaking with it. The baby’smoving frantically now, responding to my distress, and that just makes me cry harder.
“He has to wake up,” I manage between sobs. “He has to be okay. I love him so much, Blair. I love him and I never told him and now?—”
“He’s going to wake up,” Blair says firmly, pulling back to look at me. “And you’re going to tell him everything. I promise you, Nat. You’re going to get that chance.”
“What if I don’t? What if he doesn’t?—”
“He will.” Wyatt’s voice is certain, and when I look at him, his eyes are red too. “Jake’s stubborn as hell. He’s not going anywhere. Not when he has a daughter to meet. Not when he has you to come back to.”
I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him so badly. But the fear is overwhelming, crushing my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Wyatt stands, checking his phone. “I need to head to the airport. My flight leaves in two hours. But I’ll call you as soon as I see him, okay? As soon as I have any news.”
“Tell him—” My voice catches. “Please tell him I’m sorry. Tell him I love him.”
“You can tell him yourself when he wakes up.” Wyatt comes over and squeezes my shoulder. “Hang in there, Nat. He’s going to be okay.”
After he leaves, Blair stays. She makes me tea and sits beside me on the couch while I stare at my phone, waiting for news that doesn’t come. The minutes crawl by, each one heavier than the last. She tries to get me to eat something, but the thought of food makes me nauseous.
My phone buzzes and I grab it immediately, but it’s justmy mom asking how I’m feeling. I can’t even begin to answer that question right now, so I set the phone back down without responding.
The baby kicks again, a sharp jab under my ribs, and I press my hand to the spot. She’s been moving constantly since Wyatt and Blair showed up, like she knows something’s wrong. Like she’s asking where her father is.
“He’s going to be okay,” I whisper to her, to myself, to anyone who might be listening. “He has to be okay. Because I love him.”
thirty-five
. . .
Jake
The light is too bright.
That’s the first thing I notice. White and sharp, stabbing through my eyelids even before I open them. Then sound—steady beeping, the hum of machines, voices somewhere nearby.
My head feels like it’s been split open.
I force my eyes open, and the hospital room comes into focus slowly. White ceiling tiles. An IV line running into my left arm. My right wrist is in a cast. I lift my good hand slowly, fingers finding the thick bandage wrapped around my head. The pressure there is tender, aching.
“Jake?”
Everything hurts so I turn my head slowly, and see my mom leaning over me. Her face is pale, eyes red like she’s been crying.
“Mom,” I croak. Or try to. The sound that comes out is barely audible, more breath than word. My throat is sandpaper, my mouth so dry my tonguefeels stuck.
“Oh thank God.” She’s grabbing my hand, squeezing it too tight. “You’re awake. You’re finally awake.”
