Not allergies or aspirations.
We didn’t need to know each other’s innermost truths to be compatible in bed, but with him holding onto so much grief about the accident that claimed his wife’s life, and me still dealing with Trey, it made sense to stay cautious. I’d wanted to acknowledge his past, and thought he’d appreciate the sentiment, but his mood went from lustful to volatile, like an ember catching fire.
In the cover of darkness and the embarrassment of being caught, I’d neglected to get a good read on him, and was quick to lash out when his words sliced across my skin like razor blades. All because I’d allowed myself a moment of selfishness. Just one brief glimpse into happiness.
The coffee burned my tongue as the bitter notes of dark chocolate and coconut coated my taste buds, giving me a small burst of energy, but I couldn’t be bothered to care. Instead, I focused on the sky and its changing colors before laying my mug beside me and letting my eyes droop.
A breeze ruffled my hair, bringing with it the scent of rosemary, and I tucked the locks behind my ear, wishing I could go back and do the last twelve hours over again.
Would it have made a difference if I’d jumped in headfirst, wrapping my legs around his waist and demanding that he take me to bed? We’d have had a night filled with rough touches,orgasms, and dirty words, but in the harsh light of the morning, nothing would have changed.
I’d still be the practically forty-year-old divorcée living with her father and awaiting a court date that would determine if I’d have the funds to start a life for myself.
And Maverick?
Maverick would remain the complicated man with harsh words and gentle touches. He’d still have a deep love for his family, and deeper regret for his wife.
How could I ever compete with the image of her he’d built in his mind?
After years of being unhappily married, did I want to tie myself to someone whose heart belonged to another? Was he just looking to scratch an itch, or were his feelings like mine—a twisted jumble?
Those thoughts had me stretching my legs and turning toward Bev’s house, unable to calm my brain from the overwhelming need to find him and demand answers to each of my unasked questions. The deep purple sky melted into lavender, but I stayed on the steps, drawing my knees to my chest and breathing deep.
The snicking of the glass door opening startled me, and I shook my hair out of my face before turning my head to the opposite side and closing my eyes again. My head swam with exhaustion and the need for water, but I wasn’t ready to move—just five more minutes and I’d be good as new.
“Summer? Are you out here?”
My head jerked up, and my back twinged as Dad snorted, shaking his head. I groaned, stretching my legs in front of me before grabbing my now cool coffee and wrapping my hands around the mug.
“You definitely look comfortable down there, girlie. Just wanted to let you know I’m going out later and don’t plan on coming home until this evening.”
“What now?” I asked, twisting to face him. My back cracked, and I swallowed a mouthful of caffeinated goodness before standing, which caused it to twinge again, making me regret falling asleep in such an awkward position. “You’re leaving?”
“Yep,” he answered, popping the last letter like he’d been chewing bubble gum. “I’m going to the annual pancake breakfast at the Lyons Club, and then Jim and I are going down to the park to play some chess.”
“Ah. Okay.”
I slid across the top step and over to the railing, careful not to snag my robe, before setting my mug next to me. I gripped the wood and stood, taking a moment to stretch my shoulders. The sun had risen, and the sky had gone from lavender to buttercream yellow while I slept, reminding me that regardless of how I felt, the world kept spinning.
Dad huffed, staring at me, and then bent to retrieve the coffee from where it sat. “Whoa,” he said, stretching his hand to the side in order to grip the railing.
I was there in a flash, all thoughts of my sore body gone as I steadied him with a hand on his elbow and another on his waist.
“I must have moved a little too fast there.”
“Hmm.” I bit my tongue, keeping myself from scolding him and then rushing to my computer to put in for an unscheduled day off so I could follow him around to ensure his safety. Being stuck in this house with barely any company, constant pain, and a bland diet had taken its toll—on both of us. He knew his limitations, and this was a big step in him gaining back the independence lost after the operation.
“What? No demand to stay home? Or at least a reminder to stick to my no salt, no butter, no taste, pain-in-the-ass diet?”
Letting go of his arm to put my hands on my hips, my scowl melted into a chuckle when I noticed his wide smile and arched brow. I steadied myself, not allowing the mother hen to come out and ruin his day. Instead, I gave him a once over, then shook my head before patting him on the arm.
“Not this time. However, I will point out that playing chess against Jim usually results in raised voices and copious swear words, so keep an eye out for impressionable toddlers and repressed senior citizens.”
“Hey, now. It’s not my fault the chess boards are next to some big-ass jungle gym the crunchy mothers with their homemade granola and sniffling rug rats flock to on a Saturday morning.”
He smoothed down his collared shirt, popping open the top button before buttoning it again and then clenching his hands by his side. I could tell his nerves were getting the better of him and knew my reaction would go a long way to restoring his confidence—or at least, I hoped it would.
“Well. It looks like you have things well in hand. I might go to the bakery for breakfast. Want me to make you a little something before you leave?”
