“I finally, Miller, fucking finally, get the balls to tell the headmaster and my father to go pound sand, and you have the nerve to suggest that? Do you think this is some sick form of entertainment for me?”
Shit.
I reached again, standing to move closer, but she raised her hands in warning, causing me to sit back down as my shoulders slumped forward.
“I don’t think you were doing anything on purpose, but listening to the aftermath and seeing you with other guys would have sent me straight to the insane asylum if I had to endure it much longer.” I searched her face for something, hoping to see the look she gave me when I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.
I craved that look—the one I selfishly wanted to be all for me.
“The insane asylum? Really, Miller? Because not one time did you offer to help or tell me to stop.”
“I was trying to be supportive!” I snapped back, throwing my arms up before running one over my face. “I wanted to give you space. Maybe if you had enough shitty dates, you’d see me.” I pounded my fist to my chest, letting the sting center me. “Me, Emma. The man standing in front of you. I wanted you to see me.”
For one moment, I thought things would mend themselves and no more words were needed. She’d grip my shoulders, and I’d cup her face, molding our bodies together and allowing the rest of the pieces to fall into place.
“No. No. No. You don’t get to sit there and be jealous,” she said, relentlessly pacing again. She shook her head, mumbled, then turned and repeated the pattern.
“We’ve never dated. You’ve never asked me out. We’re friends.” Her arms darted between us, and I winced, expecting a shoe to fly off the end of her finger and hit me in the nose. “We’vealways been friends. You never said you wanted more until that kiss, and I would never intentionally do anything to ruin what we have.”
“Of course not. You just let me whisper filthy thoughts in your ear and bury my face between your legs.”
“Stop it. Don’t pretend like you wanted anything more than sex. Don’t throw what we do in the bedroom in my face because you have always been an eager and willing participant. It wasn’t until I agreed to that stupid condition the headmaster set that you gave two fucks about anything other than where to stick your dick.”
Those words cut deep—but no. I’d started caring for her long before the revolving door of dates started, right?
“Oh. I’m sorry. I thought you having eight inches of me down your throat meant something.”
My voice was panicked and desperate, shouting the words in a vain attempt to show her how I felt. Her eyes hardened, and she took one step toward me and then another. Her body flowed gracefully, arms hanging by her side and shoes dangling from her fingers. Walking was nothing more than controlled falling, but the way she moved conveyed so much more than those simple verbs.
“You better stop it, Miller. Stop talking before you say something that can’t be taken back. You know that meant something. It meanteverything.You mean everything.”
I sneered. “All the things I’ve said, and you’re worried about me saying something I can’t take back. Shouldn’t you be more concerned that you left before your precious headmaster could parade me around like some prize stud?”
“That. You can’t take that back, Miller,” she cried, raising the shoe in her right hand and hurling it toward me. My fist flew in front of my face to stop the heel from piercing my eye, and Ihissed when it hit my arm before falling to the floor. “Whatever happens next, it’s your fault. You selfish prick, Miller Hansen!”
She hurled the shoe in her left hand at me, and I raised my other arm as the heel caught me in the forearm just as the door opened.
A wide-eyed employee in a white button-down shirt and pressed maroon slacks stood in the doorframe with his mouth ajar.
We turned, mimicking one another’s movements, hands outstretched like we were debating between throttling and embracing.
“Is everything okay in here? A guest reported shouting coming from the hallway.”
Emma shook her head, smoothing the material along her stomach and grimacing at the employee. “Of course, our apologies. We were locked in. Thank you for opening the door.”
“Absolutely, ma’am. Please follow me.”
She rushed forward, not meeting my eyes and not grabbing her shoes. “Wait. Emma. Please,” I begged, calling to her as I struggled to grab the shoes from the floor.
“Do me a favor and don’t follow me, Hansen,” she growled, holding her head high and not looking back. The impressive figure she cut was circumvented by her lack of shoes, but to me, she was perfect.
“I’ll leave you to your night, sir,” the employee said, glancing between her retreating form and my frozen one. I held her shoes in one hand so I could shake his hand and murmured my thanks, glad he hadn’t bothered to stick around before heading back toward the lobby.
I leaned against the hallway wall, staring at the inside of the now open room for what felt like hours. Staring at the spot where I had Emma James on my lap, with her sexy-as-sin dress and fuck me heels, before I ruined it—again.
Maybe it was a good thing I never spilled the depth of my feelings—feelings that had been cropping up until it was impossible to ignore that I’d completely gone around the bend and fallen in love. I’d long since admitted I was an insecure dipstick who had daddy issues and clearly couldn’t control his emotions—but fuck!
Damn it.
