I swallowed, tearing my eyes away from the hard planes and sharp angles of his body and focusing back on his face. What I had to say was not meant for anyone but him. The stuffy clothes, atmosphere, and people had to go. We should be cuddled on my couch with Chinese food and made-for-TV horror movies, not wandering around the ballroom hoping to not be overheard.
“What do you want, Emma?”
“Please, Miller. Not here. Let’s leave and go get a drink,” I said, threading my fingers with his and tugging him toward the exit. He squinted, and his brow furrowed as he stared at me, looking beautifully handsome even though his expression was one of annoyance and irritation.
“I don’t want another drink. I want you to tell me what you want.”
“Miller—”
“No. No more. Please. I can’t do this anymore. Just tell me.”
“I don’t want to talk to you here,” I said as my voice cracked and my eyes became blurry with tears.
“Don’t do that, Emma. Don’t walk out that door without giving me an answer.”
“An answer? An answer?” I said, thumping him on the chest with my thumb and forefinger. “How about respecting me enough to understand that you and I are too important to discuss at some random work event? If you can’t respect that, then there is nothing left for me to say.”
He stepped away from me as if I’d begin to radiate heat, and it took all my strength not to take back my words.
“So, that’s it, then?” he said to my back, causing my shoulders to slump as I took a steady breath and turned to face him.
“Yes. That’s it. I’m sorry, Miller. My mental fortitude is not strong enough to argue any more with you tonight. I’m leaving.”
I didn’t bother to say goodbye, not caring if we were drawing attention to ourselves, as I walked as fast as I could out of the room in these godforsaken heels. I could hear his footsteps squeaking on the granite behind me, and my eyes darted between professors, parents, and attendees, hoping they were none the wiser to my current emotional state.
Perhaps they only gave us a passing glance while waiting in line at one of several bars set up within the ballroom. Or perhaps the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I made my way around the patrons was a tangible, violet aura everyone could see.
I moved past the small band playing, their music filling the air with a slow, sensual waltz. Before I could make it to the front desk and out into the night, a warm hand wrappedaround my elbow and guided me down a quiet hallway to the left, away from the bustling crowd. As we walked, the sound of chatter and laughter faded, replaced by the distant hum of the air conditioner. I jerked my arm from his grip, and stopped, pressing a hand to my stomach. Miller stayed close, our shoulders barely pressed together as he stopped beside me and leaned against the wall. Where our bodies touched, my skin tingled, making me want to pull away and move closer.
Nope.I needed more distance. Pushing off the wall, I headed farther into the darkened space. The last door in the hallway, before the glowing red exit sign, was ajar. I pushed my way in, looking around. There were a few open lockers and hooks with various rain jackets and umbrellas hanging from them. The evening was warm and dry, so I assumed this space was a catch-all of miscellaneous things employees had neglected to take home after their shift. The silent, sad little closet would serve my purpose perfectly.
Miller followed, propping himself against the doorframe and crossing his arms.No.That wasn’t right. It was more like the doorframe barely accommodated his width and height—another thing on the long list of items for me not to be ready to deal with. How dare he be so tall and so built that simple doorframes could not hold him? I pursed my lips, causing him to arch one eyebrow and tilt his head to the side.
“I don’t want to do this here, Miller,” I said, mimicking his pose from inside the dusty room before turning around. The space wasn’t large enough to pace, but I had to keep moving. Four steps to the wall, turn, and three steps back. If I took the additional two steps, I’d come nose-to-nose with Miller. I’d get a face full of his cologne—and I could not get distracted by that smell.
The smell that stayed on my sheets long after he’d gone, and the smell that remained on several choice shirts I’dforgottentogive back to him. This was the time for me to process the night while staying immune to all the things I liked about him.
“I just wanted to be here for you tonight. I thought I was doing you a favor by showing up,” he answered, cocking his head to the opposite side and glaring. I paced again. Once. Then twice before huffing out a breath and shaking my head.
“No. No. You are not doing me a favor. Whatever attempt this was to make up for what happened is unnecessary. You refuse to respect my request to not talk about this here, so the only thing left for you to do is leave.”
“Leave? Leave? Oh, no, Em. I’m not leaving. In fact—”
“Look. Fine. I’ll come with you to wherever. I just don’t want to fucking do this in a dusty closet. What part of that is too hard to understand?”
“It’s not hard to understand, but it’s not too much to ask you to just give me a damn answer.”
“No. I refuse to kowtow to you because you think you’re entitled to something I’m not willing to share here.” I stopped to stare at him.
“You know, you looked pretty sad standing on the balcony tonight.”
“Sad?”
“Yes. Sad. I wanted to take that away. See you smile. Have you look at me like you did when what’s-his-name showed up at your place for your date.”
Oh, Miller.
I swallowed, allowing one hand to leave my hip and wrap gently around my throat. He crossed his arms and glared like he blamed me for my silence.
