Was I that predictable, seeking comfort in the easiest place? The place I knew I’d be happy?
This wasn’t fair to him—showing up on a weekday with enough emotional baggage to fill an airplane hangar. Still, my feet carried me to the door, and I wrung my hands, shifting my weight from foot to foot before knocking. The noise sounded like a thunderbolt, even though I knew the sound could barely be heard above the warm summer breeze.
Panic set in, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, holding my breath and giving myself to the count of three before making a run for my car. One foot had turned in preparation for that when the door opened, light streaming into the darkening evening.
Damn, he looked good. It wasn’t his handsome features that had me sucking in a breath and filling my lungs with the humid summer air. It was something uniquely him—comparable to how you’d feel coming home after a long day. You’d step into the foyer, slip off your shoes, and breathe, letting the tension melt from your shoulders.
He was that feeling for me.
His smile calmed my racing heart, and his presence soothed the tension in my chest.
I longed to close my eyes and bask in him, but the way his brows furrowed and his eyes crinkled, he looked like he was confused by my sudden appearance. I hoped he’d be happy, welcoming me with a broad smile and open arms. His pinchedexpression worried me, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if he wasn’t alone.
No. Don’t do that.I pushed the words out of my head as fast as they had flitted inside.
“Oh. Hey, Emma. What’s going on?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
I took him in, starting from the top of his head and letting my eyes trail down to the rough stubble of his jaw. Down I went over the tightness of his black T-shirt and the gray sweatpants that sat low on his waist. My gaze stopped on his bare feet, focusing on how his big toe was slightly shorter than the toe next to it.
It was ridiculous, me being here while I held out for a future that may never happen with some guy I didn’t know and hadn’t met. The opportunity might never come—the possibility was very real that I’d never find someone, always being the third wheel while my friends found happiness. WhileMillerfound happiness.
My thoughts returned to why I found myself on his doorstep. Was I a user, someone who used the other person until something better came along? Did he think that of me? Was he right? Was I just waiting for something better?
No.
I should go. Yes. Leave. Hightail it back to my lonely little apartment with my lonely little apps and pretentious cat, slowly scrolling until I got that panic-inducing beep that meant I matched with someone.
“Hey. You okay over there, pretty girl?”
He reached toward me, resting his hand gently on my elbow as he led me inside and leaned closer to shut the door. His face came within millimeters of mine, and I breathed in, taking in the spicy scent that was uniquely Miller. The calming notes of black coffee and juniper flowed around me like a balm to my frazzled nerves, and I relaxed, resting my cheek on his chest.
His arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in their warmth, and my earlier sadness faded to something manageable. Miller accepted my life for the beautiful train wreck it was, embracing my flaws as much as he did my other traits.
Allowing myself this relationship—joy, closeness, and physical contact—was easy. Much easier than ten thousand other decisions that plagued my days. This—he—gave me the motivation to continue even when it felt like the darkness was suffocating.
I tugged on his shirt, lifting my head as he wrinkled his brows and ran his fingers along my jaw.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” His voice was gentle, making my breath catch in my throat and my voice hitch.
I didn’t have the words to tell him what had happened—there would be time for that later. Now, I needed to feel him surround me. His hard body pressed against mine, chasing everything else away.
“Kiss me,” I said, my voice strangled and weak as his hand continued its gentle caress. “Please.”
He growled, and I felt down to my core the raw desire behind the sound. One hand traveled along my back to grip my neck while the other tightened on my hip, almost like he sought to merge our bodies completely.
“Is that what you need, baby?”
I whimpered, nodding as he tickled the back of my neck before gripping my hair—hard. He tilted my head where he wanted it, searching my face, making me wonder if he was holding his breath before he lowered his nose to my hair and breathed in.
The sound was filthy. This rattling intake of breath and then his slow exhale sent goose bumps racing along my exposed skin. The hand on my hip slowly crept lower, then repeated the pattern until his fingers dipped underneath my green plaidpencil skirt, running over every part of me he could reach as my breath hitched and my core clenched around nothing.
The hand fisting my hair lowered, sneaking underneath my blouse and over every divot of my spine, a wicked smile on his face as he bent low enough to drag my earlobe between his teeth. I made myself breathe, counting each inhale as he became intimately familiar with my neck.
“Talk to me. What do you need, Em?” he whispered, walking us backward until his knees hit the couch. He sat down, taking me with him. My legs spread wide, and my skirt hitched higher as the hand under my blouse tugged me closer. I complied with his unspoken request, holding my arms above my head as he pulled the constricting garment off.
My bra came off next, and I heard his heavy pants as he stared at me, letting his hands caress my arms. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back and moaning. I’d always been self-conscious about my small breasts, but the way Miller’s breath hitched and how his eyes dilated gave me the confidence I rarely possessed. I pushed my chest forward as he pinched my nipples, rolling the sensitive flesh between his thumb and index finger.
His rapidly hardening cock flexed against my hip, the layers of fabric keeping me from feeling him completely. His hands moved to my elbows, and he pushed, drawing me forward so he could capture my nipple between his teeth. The hot suction of his mouth was perfect, and when he used his other hand to knead the breast not in his mouth, I saw stars.
