Molly noticed as well, and she stepped closer to Ginny, comforting the bulldog who started whining, then pressing her ear to the door. I shrugged my shoulders and did the same, coming up beside her and pressing my ear to the door. As soon as I did, a loud thump whacked against the door, and Molly and I both jumped back.
“What the…” I said, leaning forward again. “Do me a favor and put Ginny on a leash, Molly, and stay here, please.”
“Sure. Sure, Dr. Crews,” she said, clipping on Ginny’s leash and wrapping it around her wrist.
I nodded and cracked open the door, peeking out into the lobby.
“Jesus Fuck,” I hissed, looking out onto what I could only describe as complete fucking chaos.
I had enough sense to turn and mouth sorry to Molly, who shrugged before I headed into the lobby to contain the nightmare that had unfolded while I was checking a Bulldog’s teeth. I shut the door behind me as my eyes darted to every corner of the front of our office. Supplies were scattered on the floor, and animals were barking and hissing. Owners were yelling as Melissa and Danielle were trying unsuccessfully to calm everyone down.
Our receptionist, Dana, was standing up behind the counter and dancing from foot to foot with her brown hair billowing around her head and her hands flapping around her ears like she was on fire while shrieking, “There’s a rodent on my head. There’s a freaking rodent on my head. Get it off. Get it off!”
A Goldendoodle had gotten off its leash and was weaving in and out of Dana’s legs, barking at the rodents and trying to jump on her chest. The owner was going between trying to grab the dog and trying to catch whatever was in Dana’s hair.
A cockatoo was flying by the grooming supplies, and a cat was trying to climb a shelf to get to the bird. Melissa and Danielle were trying to wrangle the cat and bird, and the owners and Dr. Duvall were staring at the craziness with vacant expressions on their faces.
Honestly. Had I walked into the freaking Twilight Zone?
Nope.
Because smack dab in the middle of the chaos, wearing a pink housecoat with a leopard fur coat buttoned over it, was Ms. Freaking Lovejoy with her hands on her hips, wagging her finger at Dana like she was in the wrong.
“They are not rodents, you nitwit. My babies are members of the marsupial family, like kangaroos. They are adorable and have pouches to raise their young. Ginger even has two vaginas, and Juniper has a forked dick. Now calm yourself, girl, so I can help.”
I took a deep breath and strode into the middle of the lobby, holding both my hands out like a badass crossing guard. “Everyone stop.”
Aside from the noise of the animals, all the people stopped and looked at me. I took a deep, cleansing breath and met their eyes.
“Dr. Duvall, please take Ms. Lovejoy to exam room three. Dana, please calm down, and Melissa will help remove Ginger and Juniper from your hair. Danielle, please help with the Goldendoodle. Then come over here and help me with the cat and bird. Everyone else, please take a seat, and we’ll work to get back on schedule shortly.”
“Dr. Crews,” Dana started, blowing her teased bangs out of her face.
I held up my hand and shook my head. “Let’s get the office back in order and our patients handled, then we’ll chat. Are you okay?”
She gave me a sheepish nod, and I nodded back, turning to the shelves where the cat was unsuccessfully trying to catch the bird. I stretched up to get the cat down, turning around to find her owner waiting with an open carrier. I smiled and put the cat back in.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Crews. The bird wasn’t in a cage, and the receptionist gave me a treat. I shouldn’t have opened the carrier.”
“Don’t sweat it. It was like the perfect storm of animal opposites.” I patted his shoulder as he zipped up the carrier and took a seat, staring at the cockatoo perched on the television in the corner.
The bird’s owner let out a shrill whistle, and she flew down and perched back on her shoulder. I nodded again and looked at Melissa, who had one sugar glider in her scrub-top pocket and the other in her hand. Aside from some sore feelings and extra cleaning and straightening up to finish, everything looked okay.
“Okay. Now, are you sure you’re alright?” I asked Dana, taking the sugar gliders from Melissa and rubbing her arm. “Did these little guys scratch you at all?”
“No, Dr. Crews. I’m so sorry. They came out of nowhere, flew at me, landed in my hair, and got tangled. Then that crazy lady started yelling, and the dog started barking…”
I squeezed her shoulder and gave her a sympathetic smile so she’d stop talking. “It’s fine. I get it. Let’s talk about requiring all small animals to be in carriers at the next employee meeting or something. Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off?”
“Oh no, this was all my fault. I need to help clean.”
I put my hands up and shook my head. “Dana. It’s four-thirty. There are three appointments left, and they are all here. It’s fine. Head home.”
“Thank you, Dr. Crews. If you’re sure.”
I nodded and headed to the back, passing Dr. Duvall in the hallway.
“Great job handling that mess, Jenna.”
