“Yeah. I do. And Mark?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I’d never ask you to break a promise you made to yourself. But times like tonight, when I’m in your arms, I wish you would.”
He furrowed his brows and gave me a small smile. A smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he read. A smile that held everything that wasn’t meant to be.
19 - MARK
“Imean, if I have to count on both hands how long it’s been since we’ve hung out, Bark E. Mark, it’s been too long,” Miller said, putting his head on my shoulder like a dork as we went over the invoice for repairs.
Stupid nickname.
I shrugged him off and crossed my arms, surveying the house. Everything was right on track to be finished late next week, sooner if the team busted their asses, and honestly, I was a little disappointed.
Fuck that. I was a lot disappointed.
I felt like I had bared my soul to Jenna last night, or at least shared with her more than I had with anyone else. She hadn’t judged or asked me to change. If anything, her acceptance had me on edge more than if she’d said I was a lunatic.
What kind of chick accepted you as you were? Her.
I shook my head and moved one of my mom’s ass-shaped bonsai plants back to the kitchen island from the garage. My brothers had been rewiring and upgrading the house as the construction team handled the rebuild. Apparently, they were making my place a ‘smart house’ by installing these panels that looked like mini-tablets in various rooms that controlled a bunch of shit they hadn’t explained to me yet.
Miller and Magnum worked to make their business,TriVolt Electric,modern and sleek to attract higher-paying clients, and Maverick did everything behind the scenes, handling the books like a boss. The three of them had busted their asses and made a name for themselves here in Charleston and were expanding the business and contract with swankier neighborhoods and businesses on Kiawah and Sullivan’s Island.
Magnum was working on a panel in the kitchen as I wandered through the open space that was once a wall separating the kitchen and dining room, wondering how Jenna’s baked Chicken Parmesan would smell as I sat at the table before we settled in for the evening reading one of her weird-ass but oddly entertaining marine terror books. I imagined her laying in-between my legs in front of the re-stoned fireplace as I rubbed her back, and we watched the flames die down to embers.
I couldn’t wait to get back home so I could bring Jenna into my space. The loft would be a gaming haven, complete with dual television screens. There was a horrible internet connection at Jenna’s house, and I had a tough time connecting to my forums, though since I’d been with her, I hadn’t wanted to game. I wanted to spend all my extra time with her.
“When do we get to meet Jenna?” Magnum asked, drawing out her name and clasping his hands over his heart. “You get this far-away daydreamy expression on your face whenever you talk about her. She could help you decorate this place with more than just mom’s and dad’s old furniture. You could get art and shit.”
“What I have is fine, and you’re not meeting her.” I gritted my teeth, ignored him, and headed down the narrow hallway past the kitchen to the office that was being converted into a library. My hand was on the doorknob before Miller’s voice rang through the house.
“You have issues,” he called out. Retreating, I walked back to the living room like I’d been caught with my hand in a candy jar. I didn’t want to think about Jenna here when I knew she couldn’t stay, but I couldn’t help it. She could make this house a home.
“I was just going to point out that you seem happy. You smile and shit. Maybe because you’re finally getting some on the regular.” Miller jack-knifed his hips, coming up behind me. I sidestepped him and darted to the living room, where Magnum was screwing the cover back on a panel.
“Hey, Maverick, is that why you’re such a dick?”
“It’s why I have a bigger dick than all of you pricks,” Maverick answered, setting down his toolbox in the living room to grab his junk. “And it’s none of your business if I’m getting any on the regular or not.”
“Yeah, well. You’re a freaking hermit. Living on the damn outskirts of the city and only leaving your house to go to work. You’re just as bad as this guy,” Miller said, jerking his thumb toward me.
I shrugged my shoulders and turned around, pretending to study one of the electrical panels as they argued. It was the same shit they’d fought about since starting the business together. Miller and Magnum were Irish Twins, born exactly ten months apart and practically inseparable. Maverick was the oldest, and I could count on one hand how many times I’d seen him smile, but they worked well together, and the business was thriving.
Maverick pushed his hair out of his eyes as he walked over and punched Miller in the shoulder. “Just because I don’t get my dick wet every weekend with a different chick, then take her home to an apartment I share with my fucking brother, doesn’t mean I’m a hermit. I’m a grown-up. With responsibilities.”
“You’re a fuddy-duddy, but I love you anyway.”
“A fuddy-duddy? Really, Mag?”
“Yeah, dude. If the insult fits, now, back to what I really want to know. Tell us, Mister Lifelong Bachelor, are you going to at least keep messing around with her once you’re back here? All alone. With nothing but your black cat, topiary dicks, and X-Box to keep you company?”
I pondered Miller’s question and stared at the panel. It would be easier to make a clean break, but the thought of only seeing her when Phoebe had a checkup made my chest ache. I rubbed the spot and wondered how she’d feel about keeping things casual.
It was a bad idea. The more time we spent together, the more attached we’d get.I’d get.It was better just to be done, no matter how much it was going to suck.
“Nah, I’ll probably switch back to night shifts. No sense in keeping things going when it won’t lead to anything.”
