Prologue
Eight years earlier.
Mikayla
I turned on the lamp on my desk, and it cast a soft-white circle of light around me. Pulling out a notebook, I flipped to a clean page. Selecting a black ballpoint pen, nothing fancy, I thought about where to start.
Dear Sam.
I penned a confession, my hand trembling slightly as I wrote a plea. It was a desperate reach for something more than what Sam had been giving me the past few years, all wrapped up in a stream of consciousness. I wrote more and more, needing to get all of the words out before I lost my nerve. Maybe I would never give it to him. Maybe it was just for me. But putting the words down felt like finally breathing again.
I’m tired of being the girl who always needs correcting. But maybe I need you to consider the possibility of something more. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I’msupposed to leave this weekend, but you’d be reason enough to make me stay.
It was cheesy, like a carefully crafted romantic movie, but it was all true. Ending the letter without anything cute or flirty, I added my full name. As if he wouldn’t recognize my handwriting. Folding the paper carefully, my fingers lingering on the edge as if I could hold onto the feelings wrapped inside. The hurt deep inside my heart seemed lighter, if nothing else. Purging my true feelings from my soul onto the paper had done it a world of good.
I sprayed the paper once with my favorite perfume and tucked it into an envelope. Carefully writing his name across the front, I stared at it as if it could deliver itself to his house. I wasn’t entirely sure what romantic love felt like in the way of a relationship. I’d been so caught up with the idea of Sam that I hadn’t bothered dating other than casually in college.
Maybe I should have, but it hardly mattered when I was on the cusp of leaving town. Graduation day was tomorrow and my leaving was already planned a few days later. I had a tiny studio apartment in the city waiting for me. A new job lined up. Endless possibilities and opportunities around every corner.
But I’d be alone.
The quiet of my room settled around me like a soft blanket. For the first time, the full weight of what I was leaving behind and what was waiting ahead pressed gently against my chest. I felt light as air but tangled up in a knot of fear and hope.
If Sam felt the same way, he’d come find me. Profess his feelings. We could start something real.
But there was a dead seated fear inside my belly. A pit that held my insecurities inside of it. I was scared of being so far away from everything important to me. Yet excitement about the upcoming plans were thrilling all the same. It wasn’t just a diploma I’d be receiving tomorrow. It was a permission slip tostep into adulthood, transitioning from the small-town comforts I’d grown up with and embracing something bigger.
At least that’s what I told myself as I grabbed the envelope, stuffed it into my purse and headed downstairs. I told my Gran I’d be back soon, and rushed out into the balmy summer evening. The chirping of the cicadas sounded frantic rather than soothing, but I pushed away my anxiety.
The ride to Sam’s house was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. His car wasn’t in the driveway, which meant he was likely on his way home. Pausing on the walkway to his front door, I shook out my nerves still debating on where to leave my confession.
After a steadying breath, I pierced the corner of the envelope and threaded a ribbon through it. I tied a small bow around his doorknob, then stepped back, hoping the letter conveyed everything I couldn’t say in person.
“All right, Sam. This is how I really feel.”
Empowered by my bravery, or what felt like it, I ran back to my car and headed toVern’s Tavern. A bunch of us were celebrating tonight, but my mind was on Sam.
Sam
I’d been heading home when I got a text from Judd—Bonnie’s boyfriend and the group’s unofficial watchdog. Bonnie was Mickie’s best friend, the one always dragging her into trouble. Not that Mickie needed much help with that. Judd kept an eye on things and made sure I knew what was really going on. Instead of finishing up what I needed to do and relaxing, Ifrowned. Mickie was at the bar, stealing sips of beer from anyone and everyone.
Naughty brat.
She was graduating tomorrow and I wanted her to be able to remember her ceremony rather than be hungover. I wasn’t naive in thinking that she never drank alcohol, but at twenty she didn’t belong in a bar.
I swung the truck into a U-turn and headed for Vern’s. I’d kept her to my rules for years, consequences and all. Whatever it was between us, she’d always been mine to look after, and I made sure she never forgot it. Sure, she had a crush on me, but the age gap kept things from moving forward, at least on my end. Pulling into the bar a few minutes later, I got out and headed inside.
Mikayla was fluttering around from group to group. From the text message I’d received it didn’t sound like she was drunk, though that wouldn’t stop her making bad choices. Ones that I thought I’d been helping her avoid.
Shaking my head, I reached out and grabbed her shoulder, spinning her to face me. “Mickie.”
A brilliant smile broke across her mouth. She had on short-shorts. Too short if I had any say about her clothing choices, though I didn’t. Paired with a low cut top, I fought to keep my eyes on hers.
“Sam!” She threw her arms around my neck and pressed a sloppy kiss to my cheek.
Not the reception I’d been expecting. “What are you up to, sweetheart?”
“Celebrating! I don’t usually see you here…” Mickie blinked her huge honey-brown eyes at me and they sparkled even in the dim light of the bar.
