“I just got back from a walk.”
He nods but doesn’t look up as he finishes whatever he’s doing. Then he flips the phone shut, tossing it on the side table, and that vein in his neck strains when he drags his gaze back to mine.
My heart won’t stop pattering. I thought I’d seen the full extent of Joshua’s intensity, but this ...
“I missed you last night,” I whisper, searching his face. “And then this morning. I was on my way to see you when—”
The words catch in my throat as his rough hands slide under my dress, spanning my waist and lifting me until my legs wrap around him. His mouth covers mine, forcing my lips open, then he’s sucking on my tongue, biting my lower lip and pulling.
“Say it again,” he groans against my mouth.
My brows knit, and I scramble to figure out what he’s referring to, but I can’t think straight with his tongue tangled around mine, his hot breath on my skin, and his strong hands kneading my thighs.
His lips travel down the curve of my neck in open, wet kisses. “What you said outside ... say it again, Blue. Please.”
Liquid warmth fills my chest when I realize what he wants. What he needs.
“I’m yours, Joshua,” I breathe, running my nails through his thick, unruly hair. “Always yours.”
That word—always—echoes in my ears, laying out the closest thing to commitment I’ve given him or anyone else in my life. The truth is, I love him, and I don’t know why I’m so scared to say it aloud, especially when I never thought I would be. Maybe it’s because, before moving here, my whole life was so easy, free of turbulence. Now, the closest threat I’ve had to rocking my steady ship has been the situation with my dad, but even then, I’m only just realizing how careful I am not to let it sway too hard. To keep my thoughts from diving too deep, my emotions unruffled and balanced.
With Joshua, though, he sucks me in too far to see clearly. I don’t think I want to see clearly anyway. He brings out the wild in me, and I want to be just like this, here with him, forever. In our own bubble, my feet never quite touching the ground.
Ragged breaths hit my throat, Joshua’s fingers gently pressing into my skin. “God, it feels good to hear you say that.”
I whisper, “It feels good to say it.”
My head falls back against the wall while his tender mouth wanders lower, teasing the curves of my breasts. Then his tongue is replaced by one of his hands. His warm thumb circles my nipple beneath the loose material of my dress, and he takes my mouth in his again, this time in deep, languid kisses. My muscles melt against him, trusting and willing, and a soft sigh spills from my lips. I know I’m doing nothing to help support myself, all of my weight falling on him without a care, but he doesn’t falter.
But when his hand dips between us to lower his sweats, I’m jolted back to reality. Unease cools the wildfire inside me long enough to take in the sight of fresh bruises.
“Your arms,” I whisper, unable to avert my gaze.
He doesn’t look up or pause, but I do, and my attention catches on the cut along the side of his jaw. The dark edge in his stormy eyes.
“Joshua. What happened? And not just with the fight. There’s something else. I can tell.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” he says, soft and rough, before leaning down and peppering kisses along my cheek, my jaw, my neck.
“It matters to me.” I press my palms to his shoulders, intending on pushing him back, but I only end up pulling him closer. “What is it?”
Finally, he meets my gaze, and his expression splits my heart open. His eyes are blazing with such heated emotions I can’t figure out if he’s livid, starving, or broken.
Maybe it’s the way he holds himself, the constant air of control he exudes, but to the world around him, Joshua is an enigma. He works so hard to be stronger than he needs to be. But moments like this make me see clearly. Fleeting but raw enough to pierce me to my core. Moments where he lets his guard down, and suddenly, he’s just as exposed as the rest of us.
When he eventually speaks, his voice is sandpaper. A low, cracked plea. “I’ll tell you, but right now ... right now, I just need you, Blue. I need you so fucking bad it’s making me crazy. I ... I need ...” He swallows, shakes his head, and I glide my thumb across his full bottom lip, silencing him.
“Whatever you need,” I whisper, “you can take it.”
His grip tightens around the backs of my thighs, and his eyes flash.
My heart races as I lean closer until my mouth is at his ear. “Take it, Joshua.”
A guttural sound vibrates through him, and his grip finds the nape of my neck. He tilts my head back and sucks on my lower lip.
“You might regret that,” he warns quietly. So quietly it’s like he’s warning himself too.
In answer, I kiss him with soft, small touches.
