“Don’t change the subject.” I scratch the back of my neck, looking away. “We’re talking about you.”
“Are we?”
I narrow my eyes. “All right. So I’m whipped. Fucking obsessed. At least I can admit it. What about you?”
He grinds his jaw back and forth. “What about me?”
“You’ve got a wife, Henry. A fuckingwife. You made promises to love, honor, and cherish her, no matter what. I may not know the first thing about love, but I can tell you right now, if I ever get down on one knee for a girl, she’ll know it’s for life.” My breath comes out harsh. “I would never, fucking ever, make her doubt my commitment to her. I wouldn’t abandon her like a fucking—”
“Like what, Hunt? Like a pussy?” His words are razor-sharp, but his voice is shot. Weak. Broken. “’Cause that’s exactly what I am.”
Leaning forward, I jab his chest. “You keep on telling yourself that, and that’s all you’ll ever be.”
He clenches his jaw, but his eyes are glassy.
“I know our lives are different as milk and oil, but don’t you think it would be easier on me to say fuck it all? To stop trying so damn hard, every damn day? Course it would. But I don’t. And I never will. You know why?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Because I got someone counting on me, just like you got someone counting on you. And that means something to me. Shit, it means everything.”
A lump moves through Henry’s throat, and he looks away. “Yeah, well ...” His voice is a rough croak I have to strain to hear. “That’s your problem right there, kid. Your self-worth must be burnt to a crisp if you can’t do something for your own damn self.”
The words sting like a whip to my chest. Sharp and biting, tearing me open. Red-hot anger licks at the wound, but it’s not enough to form a response; a defense. Because part of me—a crater-sized part—knows he isn’t wrong.
A knock yanks my focus to the open door, where Blue now stands.
My head jerks back as the sight of her literally sucks the breath out of me. Looking like a real-life angel with the sun rays illuminating her form. Her blonde hair is almost golden, specks of light shining through her yellow dress.
I swallow hard.
She’s my hippie. My oxygen. My fucking seashell at the bottom of a black ocean. Too precious for me, but too valuable to ever abandon.
She clears her throat, a cute-as-hell blush running up her neck as I blatantly eat up every inch of her.
I don’t get it. If Henry ever felt half as much for his wife as I do for Blue, how could he stand even a day without her? How did Conway hurt Mom, over and over and over, without it physically killing him?
“Hi, Henry,” Blue says softly, interrupting my spiraling thoughts. “Thanks for letting me come. It’s really good to see you again.” She looks at me and gives a warm but uncertain smile. “Um, I brought food.” Holding up two green bags, one in each hand, she shrugs. “I didn’t know what you guys usually order, but there’s a little market around the corner, so ... I just picked out a few things. If you don’t like it, I can take it back. No worries.” When neither of us speaks, she chews the inside of her cheek. “Or ... if it’s bad timing, I can wait outside a while longer?”
I’m already on my feet and brushing off my shirt. “Your timing’s perfect, actually. We gotta take off.”
“What?” Her brows knit as she glances between Henry and me. “We just got here.”
I finally look down, meeting Henry’s gaze. He sits, shoulders hunched forward, looking like a sorry pile of ash someone left behind after setting their precious possessions on fire.
I won’t ever fully understand how hard things have been for him or how much he’s hurting. But this pity party of his has gone on way too damn long, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing more damage than good. Maybe even encouraging him. It was one thing when I thought he was a loner. But now that I know he’s got someone counting on him? Waiting for him?
Crouching down, I rein in my boiling temper and lower my voice to a notch above a whisper. “I might not have self-worth, but I have enough respect to care about the people who’ve been there for me, the promises I’ve made, and who I’ve made them to. I’m working my ass off forthem. Maybe that’s not enough for you, but it is for me. It has to be. And even when I’m too beat to move and want to quit, I’ll continue to work my ass off.”
He stays silent, other than a shaky exhale through his nose.
“Respect, man,” I say. “Honor. I don’t need to have walked in your shoes to know those things meant something to you once.”
Blue
Joshua’s grip swallows mine as we pace across the parking lot, and I struggle to keep up. My attention keeps wandering over my shoulder toward Henry’s closed motel door. He was clearly upset when I got back. They both were. Food seemed to be the last thing on anyone’s mind, but I left the grocery bags in Henry’s room anyway. It should be enough to keep his stomach full for the rest of the week. At least that’s some good in this.
“Hey.” I rub Joshua’s arm, and his bicep flexes under my fingers as he gently pulls me closer. “What happened between you two?”
