He jerks his chin toward the bed.
My heart pulsates as I lie back once more. He stays on his haunches, but his rough fingertips skim the inside of my thigh almost carefully, drawing a shiver from me. Then he does it again on the opposite leg, slower this time. The movements are gentle and uncertain, everything he’s keeping his eyes from showing me, and it’s a silky balm to my nerves.
Just as I start to relax against the mattress, he grips my waist and hikes me toward him. I gasp, his hard length pressing between my thighs. Breathing heavy, I shift so I’m sitting halfway up, resting my weight on my elbows. He’s not looking at me. He’s fixated on the way we’re joined at the hips, his palms shifting so he’s squeezing my ass and holding me in place.
A low growl rumbles through him as he rubs against me, and flutters spread down my legs. Then he’s pressing the tip of his length right on my wet opening. My skin hums and dances under his touch. I want him inside me so badly I almost sink onto him right then.
But something stops me.
Maybe it’s the cold edge in his gaze as he avoids my own, or the prickle on the back of my neck. Whatever it is, the feeling tugs on my chest until I’m sitting all the way up and staring straight at those stormy eyes that won’t meet mine.
“Joshua. Look at me.”
His jaw ticks. A vein in his neck bulges.
His eyes slam shut.
My heart shoots up to my throat, getting stuck there. I’m in this one hundred percent, every fiber of my soul threaded with his. I can’t do this without knowing he’s in it just as much. Not stuck in his head, someplace else—I want himhere, withme.
I cup the hard angles of his face. My chest is hot, so full it’s ready to overflow. I brush my lips over his, parting his slightly with my tongue, then exhale as though I can breathe some of the fullness into him.
A shudder moves through him, and the fingers hugging my hips curl into my flesh.
“Please look at me,” I whisper or beg—I can’t be sure which.
Finally, his heavy gaze floats to mine.
Chills break out on my arms. “I want you. Touching me, inside of me, on top of me. But only if it’s reallymeyou want too.”
His brows turn down, and his head jerks back like I just slapped him. “You think I don’t want you?”
My lungs burn—with longing, with confusion, and even a twinge of fear at the unknown. I’m not sure how to answer. Clearly, his body wants me, but what about the rest of him?
I pull my lip between my teeth, glancing away. “Do you, Joshua? I mean, when you go into your head like that ... do you even see me?”
When my gaze connects with his again, a blend of nerves and butterflies light up my body like wild flames.
“Of course I see you, Blue.” His breath comes out ragged. “It doesn’t matter if my eyes are closed, if they’re open, if I’m looking at your face or a pitch-black wall.” He slides his hands up my back, tangling them in my hair and yanking me closer so I’m sitting on him. “You’re all I ever fucking see.”
My heart lurches, a giant mess of flutters. I open my mouth, but he crushes it with his. Moaning, I rub against him, and the muscles in his shoulders contract as he guides me backward onto the bed. He molds my body into his, hips rolling between my thighs, and I quiver in his hold.
When we’re both panting and burning from the inside out, he pushes his length against my slick opening and braces one hand around the bed frame behind my head. His biceps flex, his free hand unsteady as he brushes my damp hair from my neck.
“You want honesty or sugary sweet?” he asks, deadly serious, looking into my eyes.
It’s not even a question. “Honesty.”
He nods once, then says, “I’m gonna fuck you now, Blue.” His gruff voice ripples over my skin.
Heat rises to my cheeks. “Okay,” I breathe, the word feeling wholly inadequate compared to the fire rushing through me.
“You remember what I told you?”
It takes a second for the words to come back.Promise you’ll tell me to stop if I’m too rough. “Yeah,” I whisper, even though I know I won’t stop him. I’m not willing to lose this deep-rooted energy entwining us.
My eyes fall closed when he eases inside—so slowly each sensation is amplified tenfold. Stretching, filling, sucking the breath from my lungs. He lets out a curse, pushing deeper, deeper. My lips part as he fills me to the point I don’t think I can move. It’s too much, and he goes still above me.
He groans, squeezing his eyes shut. Then I feel it, the muscles in his back shuddering beneath my fingers.
