She smiles, and it’s playful but also innocent. Even when she takes me by surprise with her boldness, reminding me she isn’t as naïve as she looks, a bright layer of innocence always shines through. It tells me she hasn’t been hardened yet, not by life or polluted thoughts. She has no clue the struggle that goes on between my mind and body; the inappropriate images that invade me at the simplest things she does, and that fact only spikes my guilt another notch.
She straightens, pulling her hair back so it’s out of her face. Then she turns and disappears deep into the room, leaving the window open and me alone to stifle a groan.
I don’t know what the hell I’ve gotten myself into, but I follow her anyway because, apparently, I’m weaker than I thought. My arms get heavier with each pull, and when I land with athudin the confines of her bedroom, I already wanna bolt at what I see.
Ruffled blankets tangled with sheets. A shirt and a pair of jeans sprawled across the floor like she just took them off. Blue Everest’s back as she closes the door, little pink shorts hugging her ass, and a loose white top hanging off one shoulder.
Nope ... I turn to climb right back out the window when her voice rings through the room. Soft. Sweet. Innocent.
“Joshua?”
My hands freeze on the windowsill.
Just walk away.
Ignore her like you do everyone else.
She’ll get over it.
“Oh,” she says after a second, like she’s just realized something. “It’s okay. You can leave it open.”
What?I look over my shoulder, and she’s walking toward me.
“The window.” She nods toward it, her lips tilting up as she slips her hands into her back pockets. “Thanks, but you can leave it open. I like the fresh air and the outside sounds.”
She waits patiently for me to say something until, finally, I suck it up and push off the ledge.
“Right,” I mumble, shoulders tense as I face her.
She smiles, but it’s timid this time, and the longer I stare her down, the deeper shade of crimson her cheeks turn. Silence stretches, and she traps her bottom lip between her teeth. But she doesn’t look away.
What she doesn’t know is, I’ve never hung out with a girl just to talk without messing around.
Not once.
Of all the times I’ve been tested over these past two years, being alone with Blue in her bedroom totalktakes the cake. And if there’s been anytime to prove to myself that I’m not my dad—that I can benormal—hell. This is it.
Blue
He doesn’t budge from his spot by the window. His muscles are taut, like he might make a run for it at any time.
“You can come a little closer, you know.” I rub my lips together, then smile softly. “I don’t bite.”
Joshua’s brows shoot up, and my cheeks burn hotter. I never blushed so much in my life until I met Joshua Hunt. I like the buzz that comes with it, spinning my head and reminding me how alive I am.
I sit on the foot of my bed and look up at him. “Do you want to sit?”
“Uh, no.” He drops his gaze, clearing his throat. “I think it’s best if I don’t. I can’t stay long anyway, so ...”
I nod when, really, I want to ask why he’s always so ready to push people away.
“So”—he glances around my messy room—“what exactly do you wanna know?”
“Is it really that easy?”
“On second thought”—his lips tip up, and he swings his gaze back to mine. It’s heavy, touching my skin, and I tuck my hands beneath my lap to keep my thighs from clenching—“maybe I’ll do the talking.”
“Predictable Joshua,” I murmur to myself as he returns to scanning my room.
