Fuck.
Finally, I shake my head. “I gotta go.”
I don’t wait for her response before I brush past her, getting as far away from temptation as physically possible.
My legs shake while I sit in the waiting area, eyes darting from the lady at the front desk to the clock on the wall.
All it takes is the mention of Principal Lori’s name, and everything rushes through me at once—the frailness of my situation; how easy it would be for everything I’m working toward to be taken away before I’ve even tasted it. I might be older than most of the students here, but when I’m under the laser-sharp focus of Principal Lori or Mr. Lancer, uncertainty grips me so hard my palms break out in a sweat. I feel like a freshman all over again.
“She’ll see you now.”
I nod at the receptionist before standing and making my way to the closed door. Just as I raise my fist to knock, I hear, “Come on in, Hunt,” and turn the knob.
The clacking of the keyboard slows when I enter. Principal Lori peers up at me above the monitor, hard, almond-colored eyes examining my expression. No doubt seeing my nerves, plain as day. Doesn’t help when I wipe my hands on my jeans.
“You’re not in trouble,” she says, breaking the ice. “Just come sit for a second, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I lower myself onto the seat across from her, leaning back and pulling my lower lip into my mouth, hoping the cut’s not too obvious. Remembering my raw knuckles, I tuck my hands in my pockets too. It’s not the first time I’ve showed up to school with a visible mark on my body, but it’s not usually on the same day the principal wants to see me either.
“I wanted to check on how your final essay is progressing. Actually, I thought you’d have turned it in by now.”
I shift in my seat, hating the disappointment in her voice. “I wrote it last week, but, ah ... to be honest, I’m shifting the focus a bit. I started over.”
“Shifting the focus from which area, exactly?”
“Medicine.”
Her brows rise almost to her black hairline. “Are you sure that’s a smart move considering the major you’re looking at?”
“I know how it sounds, but I think so, yeah.”
She taps her pen on the desk. Once, twice, three times. “What angle are you going with?”
“I’ve been looking at newer studies. Still got a lot more research to do, but I’d like to center my essay around the source of disease more than the medicine.”
“Mmm,” she murmurs, her lips twisting in thought. “Well, I’m interested to see where you go with that. And taking a risk can certainly be a good thing when you need your essay to stand out from the rest. But”—she rests her gaze on mine, serious lines etching her forehead—“it can also be your downfall. You’ve been doing very well since transferring here, Hunt. Despite a bumpy beginning and all the catch-up you had to play, you’ve shown tremendous dedication and exceeded expectations, just like you promised you would. You know you have my full support, right?”
My eyes bounce between hers. “Yes, ma’am. I can’t thank you enough—”
Her palm comes up, stopping me again. “You also know you aren’t the only student being considered for this scholarship.”
I nod stiffly. I know it all right. I remind myself of the fact every day.
“You’re still taking this seriously, I hope?”
“I am, ma’am.”
Her lips press together as she searches my expression. She watches me for so long a light sweat works up my neck, and I rub it with my hand. I want to explain. My jaw clenches with the effort it takes not to open my mouth and tell her everything. Convince her why this career path means more than anything in the whole damn world to me. Rid her of any doubt she might have about my dedication. But I can’t do it. The steel walls around my chest close in a little more every second, strangling any words before they can make it out.
I guess Principal Lori finds whatever she’s looking for because, after a second, she exhales and returns her attention to her computer.
“All right then,” she says, her eyes narrowing as she types. “Go ahead and get to class before the bell rings.”
Relief washes through me as I stand and head toward the exit. As grateful as I am for her faith in me, I can’t get out of here fast enough. I’ve got one foot out the door when her voice stops me.
“Oh, and Hunt? Stop by the nurse’s office and get that cut checked out, will you?”
My muscles constrict, and I slowly turn to face her. “Ah, I’m all right, ma’am. It was just a dumb accident.”
