Especially not with my past. From the second I first got laid, two months before my sixteenth birthday, I was lost in it. Consumed to the point my grades slipped, and I couldn’t even see how bad things at home had gotten.
Until shit hit the fan, and my eyes snapped the fuck open.
Changing my habits was rough for a while. Almost impossible. But I’ve never been the best with people, and over time, I figured out that the bigger of an asshole I was, the more they stayed away. It works to my advantage. I’m struggling enough to stay on track without having to worry about the drama girls bring along.
And if I’m anything like my dad, they’ll be my downfall.
But Blue ... I wasn’t expecting to get these looks from her even if they aren’t intentional, and I wish like hell they didn’t make my pulse tick the way they do.
Opening the hydrogen peroxide, she sits on her haunches. She tips the liquid onto a cotton pad, eyeing a cut just above my left hip that reopened at school.
“This might sting,” she whispers, leaning closer.
I could almost laugh if she weren’t sitting between my legs, her wild blonde waves the only thing I see when I look down. Her lotion or whatever filters through the air. Still smells like coconuts, but there’s something else too. Something sweeter, lighter, like she brought a piece of the earth inside the house with her. I shake my head at the thought.
A faint burn spreads under my skin when the cotton connects with my wound, but I don’t react. It’s nothing compared to the burn of a fist pummeling into my ribs or a sharp ring tearing through flesh. I have one rule for the matches I sign up for: nothing on the face or neck. Anything else goes, because anything else can usually be covered up.
Turning, she puts the bottle and cotton pad on the table behind her, then sets the first aid kit on the floor by her knee. Her head dips, bobbing up and down as she searches for something, and my fingers dig into my jeans.
She’s inches from my cock, and, fuck, I feel like I should look the hell away or something, but I can’t. My pulse rate spikes as she lifts her head to scan my stomach. Then she rises to her knees, leans forward, and gently rubs a salve on a scrape running up my right side.She’s just cleaning my wounds, I tell myself. Even when her breathing gets heavier and her fingers shake slightly against me.
She moves in slow circles, then up and down, up and down, and her soft hair grazes my bare stomach. My muscles clench so tightly they ache. I swear, a shiver runs through her. She exhales, her warm breath fanning over my skin—shit.
I throw my head back to stare at the ceiling, but then images flood my mind that are a hell of a lot dirtier than I should be capable of picturing with a girl like Blue. A groan rumbles through my throat. I know it’s been a while, butJesus.
“Sorry—” Blue’s voice snaps my gaze back to hers. Her eyes are wide, her voice slightly breathless. “Did I hurt you again?”
I don’t hold back my laugh this time, but it’s pained and throaty. “No, Blue,” I mutter. “You didn’t hurt me. Not now, and not earlier.”
Her mouth opens like she’s going to say something, but nothing comes out. She just stares up at me with those innocent green eyes.
I drag a hand through my hair, gripping the strands, and throw another glance behind me. I don’t know when my worry switched from the Everests seeing my injuries to them finding Blue between my legs, but my pulse is thumping for more than one reason now. By the time I turn back to Blue, she’s standing up, her back to me as she digs through the first aid kit.
My heart hammers against my ribs. This isn’t much better. Blue’s little white shorts are directly in my line of sight, showcasing a round ass and long, tanned legs I don’t know how I missed before. A swallow moves through my throat, and I rip my gaze away, wiping my calloused palms on my jeans.
She’s just a girl. And I’m not my dad; I don’t have to act on every impulse.
“Can we get this done with?”
She looks over her shoulder. “Yeah, almost done.” With a small smile, she turns back to the table.
A second later, she’s facing me again. White gauze and bandages are in one hand, a small roll of tape in the other. She twists her lips as she looks me up and down, like she’s thinking.
“Can you stand up for this part?”
After sparing a final glance out the window, I do as she asked.
“And hold out your arms at your sides?”
Irritation rumbles through me, but it’s not Blue I’m frustrated with so much as my own reactions, so I extend my arms anyway. Whatever gets me out of here the quickest.
“Perfect.” She comes close and presses something soft against my waist.
I keep my gaze straight ahead, focused on the wall behind her, but every movement she makes prickles along my skin and refuses to be ignored. Her slender arms stretch around my torso, holding the bandage in place on one end as she ducks under one of my outstretched arms and slowly moves behind me. She stops there for a second, then lets out a shaky breath so quiet I hardly register it.
When she continues again, her chest grazes my back through the barely-there material of her shirt, her nipples defined and hard against my flesh.
Fucking hell.
