Amber chuckles. “Don’t be sorry. Do you remember the first time we spoke? Sometimes, there just aren’t enough tears in the world.” She pulls me into another brief hug, giving a squeeze, and I nod against her neck.
“Yeah, I guess.”
After we say goodbye, I climb into the back of the Toyota Camry, buckle up, and stare out the window as the driver takes off. I don’t know exactly why I’m crying, but I’m swamped with wonderment as I replay everything Amber said. That woman was her aunt. Henry is heruncle. I met Henry because of Joshua. I met Joshua because of my dad. I met my dad because of Mom.
I’ve always known we’re all connected, but seeing the pieces come together after everything that’s happened is overwhelming. If Mom were here, I know exactly what she would say right now. I can picture the glint in her blue eyes, feel the soft touch of her finger as she brushes a lock of hair behind my ear.
We’re dominos, Blue. Touch one piece, and you touch them all.
A choked sound climbs up my throat, and I untuck my phone from my pocket. My thumb finds his name on automatic, like my body knew what I wanted before I did. My heart flutters against my rib cage as the line rings.
I can sense the moment he picks up, even though a few seconds pass before he speaks. His voice is quiet, rough, hopeful. “Blue?”
I let out a shuddering breath. Squeeze my eyes shut. Then I hang up.
So much for bravery.
My phone immediately rings,Grumpylighting up the screen.
I turn my phone off to keep from answering, then shove it into my pocket, and my face twists from the pain of my chest splitting in half.
Joshua Hunt isn’t just the love of my life; he’s taken over my heart completely, and like this, all I want when I’m at my worst is him. My heart tells me that Ineedhim, that I can’t do this without him, and it’s convincing enough that fighting the urge to run to him is like trying to shatter an ivory tower with your bare hands. Most days, it feels impossible.
But that’s exactly the reason I have to try harder.
Caving is not an option.
Because as scared as I am that he won’t wait for me, I’m ten times more afraid I’ll run back to him hoping for a hero. He’ll prop me up, and I’ll let him. I know I will. It would be so much easier than trying to support my own weight. As it stands, I’m miles away from figuring out how to hold myself up, let alone how to love myself in this new light. And if I can’t love all of me, even the ugly parts, how can I expect to really love Joshua the way he deserves?
My nerves mount as we pull onto Dad’s street. Joshua’s street.Mystreet.
The driver parks and helps me to unload the boxes I’ve brought, and I listen as his car disappears behind me. Frozen on the sidewalk, I spot my dad through the living room window. He’s talking to Rebecca, his hand movements animated, but when his eyes connect with mine, he stills. His forehead wrinkles and shoulders pull back. He says something to Rebecca, then he’s opening the front door and striding toward me.
His arms swallow me whole, and thousands of pounds lift off my shoulders as I hug him back. My weight sags into him, and I sob as though I’m alone. Loud and heaving and gasping for breath. He shakes against me.
We stand there for seconds, minutes, until time loses meaning, and it’s only us, my dad and me. We cry for everything we’ve lost and everything we’ve gained. We cry for being apart and for being together. We cry for a million reasons and for no reason at all.
Hunt
My chest thunders in my ears as I stare at her name on my phone. After she hung up on me, I called her again, and again, and again, but she didn’t answer, and it’s driving me up the wall. I take a concentrated breath, trying to remind myself that whatever I’m feeling pales in comparison to what she is. If these past two weeks have been hell for me, I can’t imagine what Blue’s going through.
Sucking it up, I grit my jaw and shove my phone in my back pocket before opening my locker. Mr. Everest told me she’s coming back today, which means I have exactly five minutes to figure out what I’m gonna say to convince her to talk to me.
Making my way toward the exit along with the hordes of others eager to get home, I’m about to pass Principal Lori’s assistant, Judy, when she calls my name.
“The principal would like to see you before you leave.”
I try to bite back the irritation in my voice as I mumble, “Thank you, ma’am, but I already know the scholarship went to someone else.”
I heard the news three days ago, and I was seconds away from taking out my disappointment in another fight before Mr. Everest grabbed me by the collar and sat me down to talk about it instead. Talking is okay, I guess, but it doesn’t hold a candle to pummeling my fist into something. Needless to say, I’m still a little fucking sour about it.
I take another step forward just as Judy adds, “It’s not about that. Well, not directly.”
I cock a brow, and she just smiles before continuing down the hall.
Reluctantly, I change course and make my way to Principal Lori’s office. She’s on the phone when I knock and open the door, but she gestures for me to take a seat. I sit across from her, looking around the office as I lean back in the chair. It’s not long before she hangs up the phone.
“Mr. Hunt. Preparing for finals in your spare time, I hope?”
