“I know you do, sweetie. But where I’m going isn’t safe for a child.”
My eyes wander to the door. The door Daddy will be walking through any minute. My heart thumps. My throat starts to sting the way it does when I’m really thirsty. Daddy doesn’t hurt me the same way he does Mommy. But it’s hard pretending I’m not here, so I don’t bother him. “But ... but you can take care of me.”
Kneeling beside her suitcase, Mommy doesn’t answer right away. Her hands shake as she throws another shirt inside. She won’t look at me. Why won’t she look at me?
“No. Here, you have a roof over your head. Food in your stomach. A blanket to keep you warm. I can’t—I can’t—” A sob chokes her, and at the sound, a lump grows in my throat. “I can’t promise you those things where I’m going.”
I move to her side, and she flinches as I wrap my arms around her neck. “What about you? What if you’re hungry?”
A loud noise leaves her mouth, and it sounds painful. Her whole body is shaking now. “I’ll be okay, sweetie. I’ll be okay. Just promise me, as soon as you’re old enough, you will leave this place.”
Finally, she looks at me. I usually love when she looks at me, but not this time. This time, her eyes are so red and blurry they look different. Her fingers tighten around my arm, and she squeezes so hard it hurts.
“Promise me, Evangeline. When you are old enough, you will leave this place, and you will not come back for me or your dad. Do you understand? There is so much out there waiting for you. So much good, so much love. As long as you keep your feet moving, you will find it. You will find so much more than this.”
I open my eyes and blink hard, trying to push the memory away.
More than this.
I never knew what she meant by those words.But sometimes, when I look at Easton, I wonder. And I wish he could hear her.
There is so much out there waiting for you.
Easton’s guitar lies facedown beside his feet, like he can’t stand to look at it. The thought makes my heart burn. He has no idea what his music has done for me. I want to move closer. I want to hold him, to soothe him, to let him forget his pain while in my arms. Yet, as I toe the edge of the threshold, my muscles tense with indecision. I’m the queen of superficial words, but now ... when he’s crumbling and hurting and needs so much more than I can offer him, I’m nothing but a coward.
Stupid, weak little girl.
What were you thinking?
I step back, but my fingernails slip against the doorknob. Easton’s head snaps up. Our eyes lock. I freeze. Whiskey melts into dark chocolate, growing darker and darker. The gaze is dry and caustic and slightly superior, telling me I’ve been caught somewhere I’m not supposed to be. Nerves jitter in my throat, and I don’t think I’m breathing.
For a good boy, he sure knows how to look dangerous. The deep hum of his undivided attention ripples through my body like thick, warm syrup. It’s heavy enough to drown in.
Finally, I find my voice, but it escapes as a scratchy whisper. “Want to know a secret?”
His gaze drops to my lips.
“I sit by my open window every Sunday night, just to hear you play.”
Brows slant, and his eyes meet mine.
“Your music has helped me in ways you’ll never know. So, for what it’s worth,” I say quietly, ungluing my feet from the carpet, “not all of it is bullshit. Not to me.”
A vein in his neck ticks. His nostrils flare.
A visible shiver runs over me before I turn around and head to my room. But the grip he has on me never loosens, and five, six, seven steps down the hall, I hear his bed shift. The floor creaks.
When I enter my bedroom a moment later, I know I’m not alone.
Eva
My heartthump, thump, thumpsas I stroll across the room and stop in front of the vanity mirror. Slowly, I unclasp my jacket, letting it fall to the floor. My eyes pull away from my reflection to settle on Easton’s tall form in the doorway.
The top few buttons of his shirt are undone. Hair a mess, eyes slightly crazed. Watching me, he shuts my door. Theclickof the lock is the most thrilling and terrifying sound I’ve ever heard.
I have no idea what his next move will be, but I’ve fantasized about him for so long I’m nervous I’m going to ruin it. That I’ll get stuck in my head and mess it up like I always do. Except this time, the only person I’ve ever wanted will be the one I disappoint.
His gaze runs down my body, bringing a warm shiver with it. My hand shakes as I reach for the dress clasp at the top of my spine. I want it to appear like sophisticated seduction, but my fingers are so clammy they slip on the zipper.
