Such a good, sweet girl.
My voice hardens. “I said, get away from me.”
“I don’t think you mean it though. I think you want someone to show you a good time. How to loosen up.” His hand runs across my lower back, and I squirm inside my own skin. “Every good girl has a dirty side.”
He knows.
They know.
A bathroom. The bathroom. My hands find the knob, and I yank the door open before stumbling over my own feet to get inside. I lock the door and hear laughter on the other side of it.
“All right, Virgin Mary,” he shouts. “Catch you later.”
Silence. Nothing but my thoughts and the pounding beat of music.
Leaning back against the door, I hang my head and squeeze my eyes shut.Why is it so hard?Stupid, stupid tears.Why do I still let him control me after all this time?
I just want him out of me. My pores, my body, my head. I tear my nails down my arms, pull at the skin, as if I could dig him and everyone else out.
I jump at a knock on the door.
“Hello? I have to pee!”
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
I wipe my eyes, splash water on my face, and turn the knob.
“Thank God,” the girl says as she drunkenly brushes past me.
When I find Easton again, still on the couch, my entire body loosens. I’m okay. I’m safe.
I’mEva.
I look down at the new shoes Maria set in front of my door this morning and back at Easton. I didn’t come here for nothing. I’m going to do it. Talk to him. Finally, I lift my chin and walk toward him.
He looks up, and our gazes connect. The room grows quiet, or maybe that’s just in my head. Easton holds my stare as I move closer, and closer. His confidence is so effortless it’s contagious, rubbing onto me with every step I take. And then, I’m standing in front of him.
Here goes nothing.
“Hi—”
Red hair swings into my line of sight, and Whitney’s leaning over him. Her arms wind around his neck, crimson lips whispering something into his ear. I can’t see his face, but his fingers come to rest on her waist. He stands, his hand covering hers.
Just like that, he’s forgotten me.
He leads her across the living room, hand in hand while they whisper who-knows-what and look intently into each other’s eyes. His thumb brushes her cheek before they walk out the door. They’re leaving the party. Together.
My heart plummets to the bottom of my stomach.
I stand in a stranger’s house surrounded by annoying music, groping hands, and desperation, and my eyes well up like the stupid, stupid girl I told myself I’d never be again.
I will not let my tears fall.
Not this time.
Not ever again.
“There you are, Virgin Mary.”
