Stop.
STOP.
Backing out of Elijah’s reach, I yank my skirt up my legs with unsteady hands. Frustration soars inside me, and the stupid thing is, I can’t blame anyone but myself.
“Shit, that was fast.”
I don’t look at Elijah, but I hear the cockiness in his voice as he stands.
“That good, huh?”
He’s clueless, watching me fix my ponytail and eye the window. “Tonight, bab—Eva.” He tugs his shirt over his head before reaching for me. “Tonight, I wanna show you what I can really do.”
I shake my head. “No sex.”
“What? But that’s twice now I went down on—”
“I’ll give you head.”
His brows shoot up. “Okay.” He undoes his jeans quickly, as if I might change my mind at any second.
This is all wrong. It’s always fucking wrong.
A pack of cigarettes slips from his pocket, and he kneels to grab them. When he starts to get back up, I’m stopping him before I can register my grip on his shoulder.
He shoots me a sideways look. “Not exactly the best position for this ...”
I can’t stop staring down at him. My head tilts. My throat constricts a little.
It happens in snippets. Flashing and tugging and clawing at my brain. My knees on the rug. Bushy fingers in my hair, yanking my head back. Long nose, blue eyes. Slow, icy smile.
Bile reaches the back of my throat.
My pulse ticks.
The room sways.
“Beg,” I whisper.
Elijah hesitates. “Are you for real?”
My voice is underwater. “You either want it or you don’t.”
He opens his mouth, closes it, and then he shakes his head. “You already know what I want.”
“Then it shouldn’t be too hard to say.”Say please.“Prove to me how much you want it.”Convince me you’re worth it.
His lips thin, and he looks around the room like he’s making sure we’re alone. He grits his teeth. “Will you give me head, Eva?”
I continue to stare.
He clears his throat. “I want ... I want you to make me feel good. I want it so bad. Please, I’m begging you.” He mumbles a few other things, but they all drown in the same tank of water my voice is trapped in.
When I finally give him what he wants, I push myself back to my tiny spot in the ocean. Still and tranquil. I lose myself in it until I’m drowning. The cage becomes my sanity, and I drift away, away, away, only returning when I hear a distinctzip.
He’s buttoning his pants when he asks, “So, you don’t mind if I tell my friends we, uh, did a little more than this, do you?”
I pause halfway to the window.
