I will break all of its rules if I have to, because my strength is powered by the strongest combining forces of all. Love and fear.
I close my eyes, rejecting the darkness entirely. And Iremember. I remember the shape of his lips. I remember the spark in his eyes when he looks at me. The dimple when he smiles. The deep symphony of his laugh. I remember how it feels, his lips on mine. I remember what it’s like to breathe him in.
My knees buckle, and I hit the ground, letting out a yelp at the fresh scrape on my hand. What the hell? I look below me and see the dirt. Then I glance up and see the trees. The sky. Feel the air fill my lungs.
Tears sting my eyes. I made it. I’m here.
I shoot to my feet, steadying myself against a tree until I stop swaying.Enzo. I need to find him.
Chapter 52
Four Days Later…
My hands shake, legs bouncing in my seat, teetering the steaming coffee I hold above my lap. Somehow, I’m still here. Somehow, I’m still alive. Somehow, my heart beats again.
Part of me wants to know why. How it’s even possible. Learn the truth about what’s happening to me, if only to ease the fear that consumes me every night before I fall asleep. The fear that reminds me I’m only part of a glitch. The fear that tells me I’m not supposed to be here, and I might not be when the sun rises.
But another, larger part takes comfort in not knowing. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe the answers to all my questions end in pain, death, or misery. Or somewhere in between. They say ignorance is bliss, and right now, I’m tempted to believe them.
I scan the waiting room, taking in the empty chairs. It’s three in the morning, and I’m not allowed to be here. But this doctor happens to be the same as Mr. Blackwood’s was, and she took pity on me. It’s been four days since Enzo’s surgery. Three days since he slipped into a coma. There’s no way in hell I’m leaving this place until he wakes up.
And he has to wake up. He has to. Because we can’t have gone through all that we have just to wind up losing each other.
“Lou?” I jolt at the unexpected sound, almost knocking the coffee to the ground. Again. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”
I set the cup down and look up at the doctor, the faint lines around her eyes creased as she gazes down at me.
“You’re still here,” I murmur, my exhaustion making it extra challenging to speak in full sentences. “I mean, I thought you left hours ago.”
She nods. “I did. Then I received an important call and decided to come see for myself.”
A surge of hope bubbles up, but I quickly shove it back down. What if it’s not what I think? What if it’s worse? “Wh-what? What is it?”
A small smile lifts her lips, and that’s it. That’s all the answer I need. I’m out of my chair, breaking out in strange goosebumps as waves of anticipation stir in the pit of my stomach.
Her hand comes up around my arm. “Hold on, now. Yes, I’m very happy to inform you he’s up. But there is something you should know.”
I don’t care. Enzo is here. With me. In my world.Ourworld. And now, he’s awake. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. We’ll deal with it together. “Okay, but can I see him?”
Her lips purse. “You may, but—”
I’m already swinging around and taking a step toward his room when her grip stops me. “Lou, wait. Please. I need you to understand something before you go in there.”
I turn back to her, taking in the serious lines of her expression. A frown pulls my lips down. “I’m listening.”
She lets out a breath, then closes her eyes briefly before beginning. “A coma can really take its toll on a person, both mentally and physically. Combine that with severe trauma, and, well, it’s a lot for someone to deal with. It can be difficult to adjust.”
Yes, I’m aware. This is not groundbreaking stuff. “And?”
“And, in this case . . . in this case, dear, he may not remember much at all.”
The way my stomach drops, I’m certain an anchor is in there, weighing it down. “You’re talking about amnesia.”
Another nod. “I am, yes. Now, we did try speaking to him and he was able to tell us some things. However . . .”
She continues talking, but I may as well be submerged in a tank of water. The sound of her voice drowns out in the distance, unclear and muddled as I shake my head. No. He remembers me. He has to. If he could hold onto me during all that time in the void, he can sure as hell hold onto me during a coma. Can’t he? An uneasiness sits in my gut, forcing me to face the very real possibility that I will walk into that room, look him dead in the eye, and he’ll have no idea who I am.
“Lou?”
