“No.”
I sit stunned, eyes widening. “What?”
“I said no.” His voice is quiet but firm. Decisive. “Don’t you understand, Lou?”
“No. No, I don’t understand why you could possibly not want to fix something like this. You’re not meant to be there. You’re meant to be here, with me.”
He shakes his head softly, his chin dipping toward his chest. “If it could happen to me, getting trapped in that place even while I was still alive, then it could happen to you. Dammit, Lou, it alreadyishappening to you.” His eyes squeeze shut. “Because of me. The more time I spend here in your world, the more it hurts you.”
“What? No.” I bring my hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks and gently lifting his head so he meets my gaze. “Death—” I shake my head, then correct myself. “Enzo.” His fingers come up over mine, and they tremble as I say his name. Hisrealname. I lean in, planting a soft kiss on one cheek. “Enzo.” The other cheek. “Enzo.” And finally, his lips. “Enzo.” His fingers dig into mine, his chest rising and falling.
“I won’t.” His words are tight, rough, the slightest quiver in his voice. “I won’t let it happen to you, Lou. You’re going to live a full life, here, where you belong. You’ll get married, have a family if you want. Grow old, be free, always knowing who you are.” He stops, giving his head a small, firm shake. “I won’t let it take you.”
I pull back slightly, my hands still locked on either side of his face by his own grip, and I watch as he swallows hard. “You can’t blame yourself for what’s happening to me. You saved my life, remember?” He says nothing, a sense of torment clouding his expression that tears me up inside. I lean forward again and press my forehead to his, my eyes falling closed at the same time his do.
“In so many ways, Enzo, you saved me.”
Chapter 42
We sitlike that for a long while, tangled up in each other’s arms, each other’s warmth. Listening to the sounds of our rapid breathing. The crisp breeze pulls at the collar of my coat, the strands of my hair, intermingling with his fiery strokes of heat that slip beneath my clothes and caress every inch of me. When his eyes open, they’re heavy-lidded, his gaze dropping to my mouth. My pulse picks up, my lips parting as I lick them. His Adam’s apple bobs as his eyes cloud over.
Slowly, he lowers his head, and he presses his lips to mine in the softest kiss I’ve ever felt. It’s feather light, a tender whisper, and a sigh pours out of my mouth and into his. My arms fall to my sides, my muscles melting beneath his touch. His hands come up to gently hold my face, fingers grazing my hair as he pulls me closer. When he slides his tongue into my mouth, it’s slow and steady, deliberately so.
Almost like he’s savoring the taste of me.
Almost like he’s saying goodbye.
My chest tightens so painfully I’m sure it’s about to burst, and I sink into him, spreading my legs enough to wrap them fully around his hips. I squeeze my thighs, making sure he feels the same pressure building in my chest, and a groan sounds from low within him. One hand glides leisurely down my back until it rests on my hips, then he’s pulling me in with one swift motion. I connect with the full length of him between my thighs, hard and ready, and I grind, reminding him of how I feel, of what it’s like to be inside me. A husky roar vibrates into my mouth, and I swallow it down with a moan of my own.
His other hand slips from my hair to grip my waist, and he’s pulling me closer, using his strength to press me harder against him. I bite down on his lip in surprise at the way he hits me just right, his heat radiating straight through the fabric of my pants. Suddenly he’s standing with my legs still wrapped around him, his hands propping me up. He turns us so my back’s against the tree, and he presses his full weight into me in the most delicious way possible.
The position reminds me of that first night he showed himself to me, when he’d sandwiched me against a tree so he wouldn’t be pulled away, and the thought sends a silent tear down my cheek, a quiet quiver through my body. He pulls his lips from mine, his gaze focusing on me, following the tear as it slides. Time stands still as he gently brushes the hair back from my face. He leans down and closes his eyes, sprinkling soft kisses over my skin, from the bottom of my jaw where the tear has landed, to the apple of my cheek.
When he pulls back, we lock eyes, green against brown. An electric wave bounces between us, a constant energy tugging us closer, closer. We don’t say a word. We don’t need to. His eyes glitter below his lashes, struggling not to overflow with all the emotions they hold back. Hard muscles contract beneath my grasp on his shoulders, his solid build shaking slightly as he lets out a ragged breath.
Watching him, taking in all the little details, only makes the tears come harder—he really is saying goodbye.
My fingers dig into his T-shirt as I pull him into me, lips parting and latching onto his. He groans, tilting his head down and exploring my mouth deeper as the grip supporting my weight squeezes. I slip my hand beneath his shirt and take in the hard contours of his body, from the ripple of his abs up to the smooth lines of his chest, then back down again until I’m teasing the hem of his jeans. His muscles tighten against my palm, and his erection grinds into me in response. He tears his mouth away from mine, moving down to the curve of my neck, right where I like it. I sigh into it, the feeling of his tongue on my skin, sucking and biting and riling me up.
I angle my head to make sure he can hear me when I whisper through uneven breaths, “Mark me, Enzo.” His lips go still against my throat, his chest heaving against mine. “I don’t ever want to belong to anyone but you.”
A deep sound vibrates through his body, then he’s unbuttoning my jeans and his lips are back in action. A strong, warm hand slides beneath my underwear, rubbing right against my wetness, and I cry out as my head falls back. Then it’s gone, his hand and lips, and I bring my head back up, dazed eyes trying to focus. It’s not until I feel the tug at my hips that I look down. He’s on his knees, thumbs hooked into the loopholes of my jeans as he slides them down my thighs, and he’s already working on my underwear before I’ve even stepped out of the pants or shoes.
I’m uncovered within seconds, wearing nothing but a top and my knee-length coat. I’m outside. Secluded, but outside. And I don’t even care. Hell, I can’t even think straight while he’s still down there, eyes level with my nakedness and hot breaths brushing my thighs. My pulse is erratic, my breathing rough in anticipation. He spreads my thighs, then props them over his broad shoulders so my weight falls on him and the tree. I’m wide open to him now, and his fingertips dig into my hips as he takes in the sight.
“Fuck, Lou.” It’s a raw, almost agonized sound, and it sends sparks down to my toes.
Then he leans forward, and I suck in a breath.
When that first stroke of his tongue slides over me, my legs clench around him and my back arches. Then his whole mouth is on me, kissing and tasting. I can’t suppress the mewls that pour out of me when he flicks his tongue again, up and down, around and around. When he sucks, I cry out, and he groans into me, the sound causing a deep vibration to ripple through my core. My hands are in his hair, pulling and tugging as I squirm against him, but he’s relentless in his exploration, his grip on my hips holding me to his face.
“Oh god, oh god. I’m gonna . . . I’m gonna . . .” His fingers slip inside me, long and deep, adding to the pressure of his swirling tongue, and I can’t hold back. I scream, my hips bucking against his face and his hands keeping me firmly planted in place. The aftershocks pour over me, my body shuddering against him. Finally, it simmers, and my head falls back against the tree. It takes me a second to get my breathing under control. “Holy shit.”
I’m still on a cloud when he shifts beneath me, my bare feet touching the dirt as he stands. His lips are tilted up, a hint of a crooked smile, as he lowers his mouth to my ear. Warm breath teases my neck, strong hands slowly traveling down my waist, and my eyes flutter shut.
His voice is quiet and husky. “Are you tired, Lou?”
I swallow, my throat suddenly thick, and I feel my head shake side to side in answer.
