“You?” He leans closer, elbows resting on his thighs, and looks me dead on. I always love when his eyes get overtaken by the green like this. For some reason, it makes me feel like it’s not just Death talking to me, buthim. The soul inside. “You’re going to rest right here in your warm, comfortable bed. You’ll wake up tomorrow ready for a new day. You’ll slip on your fancy mood ring—” He pauses, glancing down at my bare fingers with a cocked brow, and I slink deeper into the bed. Why does it feel like I’m being chastised for not wearing the ring? And why do I like it? “And you’ll go on with your life, just as you have been.”
“But my heart—”
“Don’t worry about that. Leave it to me.”
“Don’t worry? But—”
“Look at me, Lou.” I lift my chin, just now noticing that I’ve already curled fully into the blankets, my eyelids growing heavy with the need to sleep. I hold them open to peer up at him, his face looming over mine. He’s looking at me in a way I’m sure no one else has done before, because I’d recognize the wild rush it sends pulsing through my veins. “I don’t have all the answers right now,” he continues, his voice a smooth lullaby, “but I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Okay?”
I feel my head nod up and down, my eyes already closing. “Okay,” I whisper into the darkness.
The chair creaks beneath his body as he leans back against it, the sound filling me with comfort. That sound means he’s not leaving yet. It means he’s still here, with me. As the gentle silence drones on, my mind drifts away with it. I should still be scared after a night like this. I should be freaking out. But my chest, it’s somehow so full, and I can’t help but feel a certain sense of peace. Even if I know the feeling won’t last. Even if I know it’s just for a little while, as he sits here beside me. I’ll take what I can get.
“Gumdrop?” I whisper dazedly, just before my mind can shut down fully.
“Yes, Lou.”
“I think my heart beats for you, too.”
Chapter 30
Liquor, puke, and blood.
The scents blend together to form a disgusting sea of filth in the air around us.
I shift my gaze to my right, attempting to lock eyes with the boy who sits tied up in a chair beside me. He’s shaking, his entire twelve-year-old frame quivering as he stares down at his clothes, wide eyed.
“Look at me, Tommy,” I hear myself command, my voice a firm whisper. I glance quickly at the monster, ensuring his back is still turned as he digs through the kitchen cabinets, then return my attention to the petrified boy. “You’ll look at me right now, you hear me?”
Finally his head shifts toward me, his movements stiff. It’s then that I see the way his teeth are chattering.
“What do you see?”
“I-I-I see you. I see you.”
“Uh-huh. And who am I?”
“M-my brother.”
“That’s right. And is there any mess we haven’t gotten out of together, little brother?”
He swallows, then shakes his head.
“Damn straight.”
Tommy’s gaze drops to my clothes, then raises back up to meet mine. “Y-you’re going to be okay. He didn’t soak you in the liquor like he did me.”
I feel the snap of my jaw as my teeth grind together. My hands tug and yank behind me, still fumbling hard with the old rope I’ve gotten to know so well. “That’s because he’s a twisted fuck,” I answer. “Not because he’s feeling generous. He wants me to watch you suffer before he moves on to me.”
“Goddamn bastard! He tell you that?” Tommy shrieks, and we both swing our heads toward the monster. He doesn’t seem to have heard us though, so we turn back to face each other.
A grin stretches across my face despite the morbid clusterfuck we’re in. “So all it took was knowing your big bro’s life is at stake, too, for you to remember you’ve got a big ol’ pair of balls in there? Well, shit, I should have said something sooner.”
Just when Tommy starts to grin back, a loud roar rips through the kitchen. “Where is it!” The monster whirls around to face us then stomps over, his eyes narrowing right at me, index finger shoving against my chest. “You. I know you did this. Where are all the matches? Where are they!”
“What, so I can help you light your kid on fire? You sick son of a bitch.”
The monster’s face twists into something ugly as he sneers down at me, taking a step closer. His nose is red, pupils dilated, and I glimpse white residue around his nostrils. “Nah, boy. Think you got me confused with yourself. You’re the real son of a bitch, ain’t you? Your mom’s mistaken if she thinks she can run off with another man without you two havin’ to pay.” I cry out as he digs his finger into an open gash on my thigh, crippling pain shooting all the way to my chest. “I ain’t gonna kill you boys. Just teach her another lesson is all.”
