A noise sounds from behind the bathroom door, and his hand cuts away from me. In the same instant, his warmth begins to fade.
No, don’t leave yet. There’s so much to ask, so much to say.
Without thinking, I reach out toward where his heat seems to be centered in front of me. I don’t know why, or what it is I intend to do, but it doesn’t matter because I never get the chance. Just when my fingers connect with his heat, it disappears completely—and so does my hand. I gasp at the sight, my hand flickering in and out of solidity for a split second before it vanishes along with him. My arm is cut off at the wrist, and it’s the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen. Despite what my eyes tell me, I know my hand is not gone. Not entirely, anyway. I feel it connected to me in the same way the other one is. Except something’s off. My fingers are growing numb, and there’s a biting coldness wrapping around my entire hand like a glove. It’s as if any blood has stopped circulating through that part of my body, leaving it feeling lifeless and out of my control.
A part of me and yet not. Not dead, nor alive.
“You ready?” Claire’s peppy voice whips the moment away like a rug being pulled out from under my feet, and I hit the floor with athump.
“Oh my god!” Claire’s at my side in an instant, leaning down, eyebrows bunched together. “Are you okay?”
Completely at a loss for words, I stare down at the fingers pressing into the hard floor.Myfingers. My hand. The same hand that was gone just a second ago, but now is so solid, right in front of me. Warm and full of life, moving at my command.
“Lou,” she says softly.
Finally, I manage to shift my eyes, bringing them up to meet hers. Except I’m not looking at her at all. I’m trying to slow the beating in my chest and relearn how to prop myself up, but my arms won’t stop shaking.
What. The. Fuck.
Chapter 12
We’reboth quiet as Bobby pulls his truck out of Ashwick Inn’s parking lot and onto the road. It’s been over an hour since the incident withhim, and I can’t shake it. In fact, I can’t stop shaking at all. I may look fine on the exterior, but inside my mind is racing.
Bobby makes a sharp turn that returns my attention to my surroundings. The leather seats beneath me, the evening skies outside our windows.
The quiet filling the air.
It’s not a comfortable silence, and it makes me all too aware of the way the bottom of my little black dress hikes up with each of the truck’s bumpy movements. I grab the hem and discreetly yank it back down. Claire didn’t approve of my jacket selection for this outfit, so she lent me a coat of hers. It’s smooth and black, and just barely longer than my dress. It doesn’t do much to cover up my legs, but I pull it tighter around my body anyway.
What was I thinking? I should have changed outfits the minute Claire left. Well, except for maybe the little black clutch she lent me. It’s pretty cute.
“Relax,” Bobby says from beside me. I glance over at him and see the amused smile tugging at his lips. “It’s just dinner.”
I let out a small laugh, going for casual, but it ends up sounding nervous. “Yeah. I know.”
This is already awkward. Well, not so muchthisasme. Bobby seems fine, while I’m the one making it weirder than it needs to be. It would have been difficult enough trying to act as though this, the two of us going out for dinner, was normal on an ordinary day. But how exactly am I supposed to relax after what just happened in my room? All in a matter of minutes, I’d been sucked full-force into the sensual caress of a phantom being and then witnessed a piece of my body, my own flesh and bones, disappear with him.
Is that what it’s like for him when he goes? When he fades away and leaves me, does he feel what I felt in that brief moment of time? The terrifying numbness? The sensation of coldness wrapping around you like a snake about to devour you whole?
Bobby reaches forward, snapping me away from my thoughts as he presses a button on the radio. “You still like The Lumineers?”
I clear my throat, finding my voice and forcing it to be steady. “Is the world still round?”
He grins. “Point taken.”
The volume’s soft, soothing, and I instantly begin to relax when the familiar music starts. It’s just enough to remind me of where I am. Of the man beside me who seems to be making a genuine effort at repairing what happened between us. It’s no secret The Lumineers are one of my favorites, but I’m still surprised Bobby went out of his way to put them on for me. He usually prefers listening to country or R&B.
Really, I owe it to both of us to try and be present for this. I shift in my seat a little, trying to look over at him without being too obvious. His light blue eyes are centered on the road ahead, his chestnut hair short and cropped. He’s fairly tall, and his movements are masculine, but he’ll forever have a baby face, especially without the facial hair.
Right now, he really does look like the Bobby I fell for. There’s a pang in my chest at the recognition.
He glances at me, a goofy grin forming.Dammit. I look away, but it’s too late. I’m waiting for him to call me out for staring, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “You look real nice tonight, Lou.” It’s not sleazy or laced with sexual undertones. It’s sincere, maybe even tinged with sadness.
I give him a soft smile. “Thanks, Bobby. So do you.”
His eyes spark with something between desperation and appreciation when I say that, like he’s holding onto every word, and I have to force myself to look away.Jesus, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.
When he parks the car and I look up, I see the wordSteakhouseand tense. It’s too dark to tell how fancy the place is from the outside, so I won’t know until we get through the front doors. Before I even finish unbuckling my seatbelt, a sharp breeze hits me as my door opens. Bobby stands there holding out his hand for me.
