He was sorry it came to this.
I wasn’t.
The blood was alwayson her hands.
I think I knew it all along. The way the dirt seemed to always be under my nails, never scrubbed clean.
The guilt that I wore like a shroud. The anxiety that stitched all the other parts of me together.
I’d known it all along. Accepting that I murdered Oliver seemed to break the barrier inside me, and a wave of memories came rushing back. Meeting Oliver. The blue dress I wore to meet his family. Going undercover. Hearing things I shouldn’t have, secrets that should’ve stayed buried. The escalating paranoia and anger, correlating with his increased alcohol use. Hiding the bruises. Crying in the bathroom before he got home, running the shower so he’d never be able to tell. Being terrified to leave the sting, because how would I explain this new life to anyone?
AndWinder.
He was always there, watching from the wings. My fallen guardian angel. I knew he would never forgive me for this, but maybe, one day, he would understand. I killed his brother. His flesh, his family. I killed him in cold blood, and crawled away to save myself. How could he ever look at me the same way again?
I ignored the ropes that once bound my wrist, forgetting my charade I played. “You turned him into a dirty cop. You figured out we were undercover, and you paid him off, and from what he told me, you have quite a few cops in your pocket.”
If Conrad was surprised I wasn’t drugged any longer, he didn’t show it. “Sweetheart, let’s not lie to each other. Your boyfriend had been dirty from the word go. It doesn’t take much to convince people who crave what you’re offering already.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. There’s no way to know, because that’s not the way things played out.”
Winder’s hot eyes were on me, but I couldn’t look at him right now. I needed to finish this, then I could atone for my sins.
“Don’t pretend I didn’t do you a favor,” Conrad snapped, losing his patience with me. “We all saw the way he turned to the bottle, and the marks he left on you.”
The words struck me like lightning, and my cheeks flushed. I didn’t want Winder to know how his brother treated me those last few months. “I remembereverything...you did.”
Conrad’s neck flushed. “Can we tranquilize her again please? She’s not as much fun when she isn’t drugged.”
The man near me reached into his pocket for another syringe, but while he was distracted, I grabbed him by the shoulders, and rammed my knee into his balls. He keeled over with a wail. I’d have to deal with him in a minute, but for right now he could wait.
“You found a drug that was popular amongst high schoolers, and cut it with something more potent. More addictive. Thatway, they’d be hooked for life, and the only place they could get it from would be you, right? It’s smart, really. A lifetime supply of clients.” My annoyance at Leon suddenly made a lot more sense.
It’s what we had been investigating, Oliver and I. The influx of drugs at the city high schools, and the rapid increase of addiction. Officials knew it was coming from somewhere, but they couldn’t pinpoint it.
Find the sources. Plug the leaks. Get enough evidence for a conviction.
We’d done the first two, and were almost done the third when I’d overheard them talking in the kitchen.
Winder spoke up for the first time since Conrad told us about Oliver being dirty. “Is this true?”
“Don’t you fucking start,” Conrad snarled. “I let you get away with far too much because I respected you, Donovan. Obviously, my instincts were wrong.”
I cocked my head, ignoring the moaning of the man beside me. “It was never about revenge, killing your men. It was about finishing the job I started all those years ago, ridding the community of the poison providers, even if it meant I had to do it one by one.”
“You’ve outlived your fun for me.” Conrad looked ready to explode. “Duke, clean this up.”
I blinked. Duke had a small handgun pointed at me.
“Sorry.” He smiled, not sorry at all.
This time, when the gunshot rang out, I knew I wasn’t dreaming.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
WINDER
