“You give me too much credit,” she said. “I’m just me.”
I pulled her up, kissing her with all the words I couldn’t figure out how to say. “Just you is more than enough.”
“Winder,” she murmured against my lips.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Have you…” She hesitated, drawing back slightly enough I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. “Have you thought about after?”
“After.” I repeated, rolling the word around on my tongue.After. There’d never really been an after for me. There’d just been the next problem to deal with. I never really ever considered ever gettingout.
“I don’t want to jinx anything. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” Blaire turned her face away from me, and I could practically hear herself overthinking all the words she just confessed.
Gently, I tucked my finger under her chin and pulled her face back toward me. “No. Don’t run from me because you’re second guessing yourself. It’s okay to have hope.” Even though I’d said it to reassure her, the words rang true for me as well. Hope had been missing from my repertoire of emotions for far too long. To be honest, I hadn’t expected it to ever return. But something had shifted the moment Blaire walked back into my life, mixed in with the hesitancy and fear I felt.Hope.
Blaire’s eyes brightened, and the beginnings of a small smile grew across her face. “It seems wrong. To be hopeful now. I just think I’ve been running away for so long. For the first time I’m running toward the truth, with a plan. And you. It makes me think there could actually be an after.”
I shook my head, placing a light kiss on her mouth. “What do you want to do after?”
Blaire smirked. “Maybe get some real clothes, for one.”
I laughed. “Okay, fair. What’s next on your list as a free woman?”
“Coffee,” she muttered, burying her face into my chest. “Lots of coffee. Good coffee. After that, I don’t care. Just promise me you won’t leave again.”
“Never again. I promise. Whatever comes next, we’ll be together.” My heart twinged, knowing I meant that promise with every cell in my body.
She settled into my arms, finally relaxing as I pulled her close to my chest in a tight hug. I didn’t want to ever let go. Everything that came next…I didn’t want to put her through it. But once it was done, it was done. Then I could give her the future she deserved. The one I’d only let myself dream about on the loneliest of nights, where not even the moon could see me.
This had to be where everything changed for the better, the moment where everything I’d struggled through finally fell into place. Right now, I never wanted to think about the past ever again. All I wanted was to take my beautiful girl to bed, and stare into her eyes until I could see nothing but our future.
It wasdark when my eyes opened, but contentment settled over me like an old friend.
I rolled over, needing to know Blaire was next to me. I was desperate to know she would never leave. She had never been my prisoner, but I might have been hers. My arm reached out, grabbing nothing but air.
Blaire wasn’t beside me. I bolted upright, scanning the dark room, but there was no sign of her.
Fuck. Not again.
I tossed the blankets, nothing. “Blaire? Baby?”
Nothing. The bathroom was empty as well. I threw open the door, pushing past the people who lingered even in the early hours. No Blaire. My heart sank into my stomach, my lungs struggling to process any amount of oxygen. Something wasn’t right.
I searched every bedroom, every bathroom, every goddamn closet, but it was useless. The house was devoid of any trace of her. Blaire was gone, and I would put money on the fact she hadn’t gone willingly.
But the funny thing about losing someone once, was that you would do anything in your power to make sure you didn’t lose them again.
Chapter
Thirty-One
BLAIRE
Ididn’t remember leaving Winder’s bed but I must have at some point, because I was so cold. The floor was itchy, and I didn’t like it.
Where was Winder? Why was it so dark?
Shit. The floor rose, and I smacked my head onto the ceiling.
