“There will never be anyone other than you!” My voice was breathless as I chased my release, arching my back to meet Winder’s thrusts. “You’ve ruined me. You’ve fucking ruined me, andI like it!”
“There’s my good girl.” Winder rolled his hips upward, making me gasp. “Come for me now. I need to feel your tight little pussy squeeze my cock.”
His words sent me over the edge, and I tumbled into release, my orgasm taking over all of my senses. There was nothing but pleasure and pain, no in between. Nothing but Winder and myself. Somewhere I heard Winder call out my name, felt him tremble inside me, but all that felt far away.
I didn’t understand how I could have even forgotten someone with such power over me.
Winder rolled off me, and slowly I came back to all my senses—his bed, his skin,us.
We lay on the bed, tangled up in each other. Winder drew tiny circles on the back of my hand, a secret language written on flesh.
“I think I knew from the first day I met you that you would ruin me,” I said.
Silence followed as we both lost ourselves in our thoughts. I didn’t know if I meant his first day, or my first day. I didn’t know if it mattered.
“Do you regret it?” he whispered, notching his face into my shoulder.
I smiled, with a quick shake of my head. “No. Do you?”
He was quiet for a moment. “I know I should feel bad. I know it should feel wrong. But it doesn’t. It feels like everything is falling into place.”
I pulled his arms closer to my chest, so there wasn’t a bit of space between us. I understood what he meant. My life had never been more shattered, and yet, right now, it felt like Winder was stitching me back together.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
WINDER
Acar horn beeped, somewhere very far away, but I wasn’t ready to wake up. I opened my eyes the smallest I could, but it was still pitch black out. Definitely not time to get up. Music filtered in through the door, meaning at some point last night a party had started up here, but I couldn’t be bothered to care.
Besides, this was probably the best sleep of my life, next to Blaire. Even my darkest nightmares were kept at bay by my biggest dream come true, lying next to me. I rolled over to pull her against my chest again, to reassure myself that last night had actually happened, and I wasn’t hallucinating.
The space next to me was empty, and where Blaire’s body should’ve been I only grasped sheets.
NowI was awake. I bolted upright, tossing the bedding onto the floor as if Blaire could’ve been hidden by just a thin sheet. Nothing. Nada.
I leapt out of bed, and sprinted to the bathroom. Empty.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Thiswas why I didn’t sleep. I learned in prison a long time ago that if you let your guard down for even a moment, peoplewould take advantage of your weakness. Last night, I had let my guard down around Blaire.
Now I was stuck wondering if she faked me out, just to leave me behind, or if she was having one of her night terrors.Fuck.
She looked so peaceful when she fell asleep last night, and it made me hopeful that maybe she wouldn’t stir during the night. Obviously, I assumed wrong.
I stumbled into clothes strewn on the floor, flinging open my bedroom door to pulsing music flooding down the hallway. It was hard to know which was louder—the bass, or my heartbeat.
People crowded the living room, in varying stages of fucked up, but I didn’t see Blaire amongst them anywhere. I grabbed the closest person I could by the collar of his shirt, dragging his wide eyes to my face.
“Woman about this tall, red hair, wearing clothes that are too big for her. Have you seen her?”
The man shook his head, trembling, but the woman he was with looked at me with unfocused eyes.
“She pretty?”
I dropped her boyfriend, kneeling next to her so I could hear what she was saying over the music. “Very. Have you seen her? Did she leave?”
