I pouted, but Winder had size on me, and carried me out of the house without any trouble. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my best friends.”
Winder stood me up on the sidewalk, crouching to look at my eyes under the streetlight. He was so pretty up close like this, I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it before. His eyes were like the ocean, churning, churning, churning. I bet if I looked closely enough, I’d see a tiny version of myself drowning in them.
“What did they give you?” he asked, pulling up my eyelid slightly.
I swatted at his hand, trying and failing to free myself from his grip. “Just some molly. Can you relax? I was a little traumatized.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Winder didn’t look mad like I thought he would. He looked sad, sad, sad. “Blaire, what were you thinking?”
“Too much.” I took a step forward, tripping on my toes, and righting myself with a laugh. “I was thinking too much. But they fixed it. I’m okay now.”
Okay. Ooookaaaayy. I was a-okay. I could barely even remember what I was so upset about before. Blood, I thought, for one. Lots of blood. A river of blood. I looked up at the sky, at all the space I never bothered to look at closely before. The stars were so pretty, and they were all different colors. Had the sky always been this beautiful, and I just hadn’t noticed?
Winder grabbed my wrist, and I stopped looking at the stars. “Hey!”
“You were about to walk out into the street.” A muscle jumped in his cheek, and I wanted to kiss him rightthere. “Are you going to be okay walking home?”
“I’m fine, Captain Boring. You know, you should really try some of this sometime. It might make you a lot less grumpy.” I placed one foot in front of the other, following the cracks in the sidewalk. If I fell off, someone would die, but I couldn’t remember who. Winder might remember, but he was grouchy right now.
Winder huffed. “I don’t touch that stuff anymore.”
I didn’t look up from the crack, not wanting to fall off. I was doing really well, until Winder’s giant foot stepped right in my path, causing me to stumble sideways. “Winder!”
Now someone was dead. I still couldn’t remember who, but I could almost make out the edges of their face, like an old photograph.
“If I let you walk home, it’s going to take us all night, and you’re going to freeze to death.” He turned around, crouching. “Get on.”
A laugh bubbled out of my throat before I could stop it. “Are you for real?”
“Your options are getting on my back, or having me carry you the entire way home. I thought you’d prefer the choice with a bit more dignity.” He patted his shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Walking the entire way sounded like a great idea in theory, but my legs were also a little tired. I flopped my arms around Winder’s neck, and as he stood I tried to wrap my legs around his waist with as much dignity as I could muster. Unfortunately, dignity was limited in my tiny dress and my scattered brain.
Winder grabbed my legs, and started to walk, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than his touch. I wanted his hands higher, and I wanted them everywhere.
I shivered, even though I didn’t feel the slightest bit cold.
“You good?” he asked, squeezing my thigh.
Oh God.He had to know what he was doing to me. His fingers digging into my flesh were driving me wild, and I was certain he could see my heart pounding as if it was projected into the night sky. “I’m good,” I squeaked out. “You’re warm.”
You’re warm. That’s what I came up with? Never mind the fact I could feel his back muscles rippling with every step, or the way his breath warmed my hands. Forget the fact his thumb wasdrawing circles into my skin, a tattoo I’d never be able to wipe off, and I wasn’t even sure if he realized it. But, no.You’re warm.
Winder laughed, and it was the lightest he’d sounded all evening. It was a pretty sound. I wanted to ask him why he didn’t do it more. “You’re high, Blaire.”
“And?” It felt right to rest my head on his shoulder, to nestle my nose into the crook of his neck. There were no morals left in my brain to tell me no. I could make out every detail of the scorpion tattoo here, the slightly crooked tail. What would he do if I traced it with my tongue?
Winder sucked in a breath through his teeth. “And, you’re not thinking clearly.”
“Captain Boring to the rescue!”
There was a reason I shouldn’t be doing this. Something I told the girls in the kitchen. But it was so far on the edges of reality, it must be a lie. This was real, me and Winder.Cotton candy, they said. He looked at me like cotton candy.
Winder snorted. “Captain Boring saved your ass, so I wouldn’t be making too much fun.”
Whatever reason there had been couldn’t be a good enough explanation to say no. Everything right now felt too right.
I hummed into his neck, as he stomped up the creaky porch stairs to his house, empty for once. He unlocked his bedroom door without bothering to put me down, and let us both inside.
