I sucked in a quick breath. I knew it the moment I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, watching my eyes change with the addictive feelings of my dream. Winder was right. There were two sides of me, but I was only in control of one.
I wasn’t sure I could switch so readily to the other side.
But there was only one way to find out.
Chapter
Fifteen
BLAIRE
Turn it on. I had to turn it on.
My subconscious didn’t want me to remember whatever secrets I had lurking in the shadows, even as the guilt over who I might be ate me away, bit by bit. There were bound to be consequences over decisions I’d made when I waspowerful.Winder called me powerful.
But you didn’t get power without making a deal with the devil.
Needing something solid to cling to as the crowd parted, I grabbed Winder’s hand before he got too far. People were everywhere, some sprawled out on the mismatched furniture, some dancing offbeat to the loud music.
Leon lounged on his battered leather sofa like a king, surrounded by his fucked up peasants. The woman lying on his lap’s eyes were completely unfocused, to the point where I questioned if she was even conscious for a brief moment, until she shifted. Leon pinned us immediately, and his eyes brightened when he saw Winder. Once he saw we were holding hands, his shrewd gaze started to evaluate me.
“Winder. You’ve had a busy few days. Haven’t seen you around.” He passed Winder the blunt in his hand. He took a hit and gave it back.
Winder blew out the smoke in slow circles, and I had never wanted to be high quite as badly. “Been interesting for sure. I’ll be back soon. I’m wondering if you can help me out.”
Petting the limp woman’s hair on his lap, Leon raised a brow. “You’re not one to ask for help.”
“Things change.” Winder shrugged, raising our joined hands as if to signal defeat, and I immediately realized why he wanted me here.Leverage.“This is Blaire. I’m wondering if you’ve heard anything about her.”
Leon’s eyes snapped to mine, and narrowed. I was under his microscope. Breath was useless as he ran his gaze over my body, lingering a minute too long where my dress met my thighs. He licked his lips, meeting my eyes once more, a predator. He took a slow drag of his blunt, offering it to me without breaking eye contact. “Blaire, you said your name was?”
Winder nudged my side, and I remembered where I was, and what he asked me to do. Who he asked me to be.
“Yes.” I took the blunt, focusing. As far as I could remember, I had never smoked. But somewhere, deep in my subconscious, I knew I must have. I held the blunt to my lips, sucking in the smoke deep into my lungs. Don’t cough. Don’t fuck this up. Don’t fucking cough. Holding it for as long as I could, I passed it back to Leon, before exhaling in one big breath. “Blaire Barlowe.”
Leon looked away, shifting. I watched in shock as he took the blunt, and stubbed it out on the woman’s dress. She didn’t react until he pushed her. “Get off. Go find someone else to suck off tonight.”
Like a robot, she rolled to her feet, and disappeared into the crowd. Leon sat forward, forearms on his knees.
“Listen, Blaire Barlowe. I’ve heard your name. I’ve heard it from people who shouldn’t be saying your name. Because seeing you here in front of me now, I’m guessing there’s been some kind of mix up.” He stared down Winder. “I’m only telling you this because I owe you one for the Whitlock deal.”
The weed was hitting me hard, and everything Leon was saying wasn’t real. He was a bedtime story, a figment of my fucked up imagination.
Winder let go of my hand, and I wanted to call him back. “What are you saying, Leon?”
There were words, words on the tip of my tongue. Words that needed to be said, but I couldn’t quite remember them. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
“I’m saying your girl’s mixed up in shit that doesn’t involve her.” Leon’s voice was shorter this time, cutting through the air. “She’s on the list for some big people. People with a lot more sway than you or I have. People who would be pissed to hear me talking about them.”
“I need a name. Give me a name, and I’ll leave you out of it.” Winder took a step forward. Leon tried to hide his flinch.
“Conrad.”
Winder visibly paled. “You’re shitting me.”
“I told you she was mixed up in some bad shit. I’ve heard stories about this one, Winder. She’s pretty, so I understand the appeal. But is she just as pretty when she’s covered in blood?” Leon rested back against the couch, lighting his blunt again.
I didn’t like the way he talked about me like I wasn’t there. This was becoming less a bedtime story, and more a nightmare, and I’d had far too many of those lately. Besides, I could be just as scary. Winder had all but asked me to be.
