SLOWING until the wheels of the van crunch on gravel, Jay breaks the silence and I didn’t realise I was holding my breath, until I’m gulping for oxygen like I’m drowning. I need to get my shit together because I am so close to falling apart already; or I just need a coffee, I can never quite tell.
“He invited all of us? I’ve never even met him.”
“Yeah me neither. You sure Phin’s not just added our names to the guest list and forgot to tell you?” Bran adjoins, once again poking his face across the console.
“No, I have the list on my emails from him,” he flicks his chin to where his phone sits in the cup holder, telling me his pin as I grab the phone and access his emails. “Type his name into the hotel email account and it’s there. He sent me the guest list and rang to say he was sending the invites. Didn’t even give us addresses, just expected them to be sent out.”
I do as he says, find the email and there it is, a short command that he has total control over who will be here this weekend, and then the list of names. There’s only three names I don’t recognise, but ours are definitely on the list, along with Bran’s girlfriend and her best friend, Willow.
I audibly groan and lean my head to the side, staring in horror. “I’ve died haven’t I? I’ve died and you’re all being too polite to tell me. Willows here? He invited Willow?” I dump the phone back into the holder, just as the screen turns grey and reads‘no signal’. I start to rub my temples, because there is no reason forCorbin to have invited her. We’d fucked once,but she perceeded to hang around the band for another year, despite how little attention anyone gave her. She’d called me her boyfriend online, sharing that I whisked her away on romantic weekends, when in reality she had just appeared on our europe leg of the tour. Every time she held her phone, I got so paranoid and then photos she took would appear online. I couldn’t handle it, but the media went feral over whether we were dating or not.
“I knew she was coming with Mavis, mate. I’m sorry, I assumed you knew.” Bran utters, but I stick up a tattooed hand and wave him off. I don’t know whether to cry at how catastrophic this weekend is turning out to be, or…there is no other option. I think I will cry.
The van comes to a stop and I still have my fingers on my temples, rubbing them in slow circles. I make no sign of moving as the others slide the van door open, Jay slapping his hands on my shoulders as his thick, geordie accent slices through me.
“Fuck me man! C’mon, let’s get you a coffee before you start crying.” My shoulders sag, not only because he’s being so unnecessarily loud, but also because I think I have sunk that low, that I might already be crying over not having caffeine. It takes me a couple of minutes to collect myself whilst the guys get out the van and I finally look out of the window at Nightingale house. It’s stunning. A grey stone, modern manor sitting cosily in the heart of Yorkshire’s countryside. Pride swells in my chest for my best friend and his boyfriend. This is all theirs and they worked so hard for it. Running my fingers through my untamed curls, I now regret sleeping in and try to straighten my t-shirt. It sits oversized over my tall frame, tattoos poking out around my neck and down both arms to my fingertips. I can’t make myself look any better; I got dragged out of bed and thrown into a van. Before I can start considering stealing it to drive back home, I force myself from the vehicle, practically falling out the door likea fresh foal. Catching myself at the last minute, I step towards the house with the others, as dusty blonde hair comes into my line of sight.
Phin stands in the open doorway, practically bouncing with a cheshire cat sized grin. His lips form words, but I don’t take any of them in, because in the same second I look next to him, at the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen and I forget how to breathe. My palm brushes over where my heart belongs, all logical thought leaving me, and I might need to slam my chest to make it start beating again.
Long chestnut waves frame a heart shaped face, her hazel eyes swimming with flecks of warm caramel. She’s tiny in comparison to Phin, who stands slightly in front of her, subtly protecting her from the onslaught of new guests. She notices and moves to stand directly next to him, her eyes lifting to meet mine. Dark eyelashes flutter as she rapidly blinks, her lips opening softly. I think I see a look of recognition in her eyes, but I have no idea who she is. I clearly must be losing my mind, because not only do I find her insanely attractive, but I can practically feel my soul leave my body and give itself to her.
If she told me to get on my knees and bash myself over the head with a rock, I would. Wouldn’t even hesitate to do anything this woman asked of me.
I’ve never felt this overwhelmed with feeling before, the roar of blood in my ears causing my entire body to wind tight. I know I can’t just stand here staring at her like this, I need to pull myself together, but fuck it’s so hard. I don’t even notice the nimble body that collides into me, thankfully at the last second I manage to catch Phin as he jumps into my arms. Luckily I’ve been working out again, so I hold his weight as he wraps his arms around my neck.
“Wrenny baby! I’m so happy you’re here. I heard you’ve been very grumpy.”
I can’t hold in my laughter as I attempt to carry him back to the stairs, my leg buckling slightly as I bend to force him off me. “They wouldn’t even hit a drive thru, I’m running on empty here mate.”
He throws a fake pout as he steps up the cobbles to the front door, my eyes finding those gorgeous caramel ones again. Fuck me, she’s so tiny. It’s adorable and perfect. Before I can say anything, a frown twists on her lips and it momentarily stuns me, because it’s not typically the reaction I get from women. A noise from inside the entrance distracts us both, and another all too familiar blonde rushes out to meet us. Lily’s eyes eagerly roaming over me, so I step back, letting everyone else greet each other, as I try to nonchalantly observe our mystery guest.
Turning, she walks over to where Lily came through the door, taking her hand as she leans in to whisper something. I’ve always felt unsettled by Phin’s sister, and something sits wrong in my stomach seeing them both interact. Are they close? It looks like they’re friends, which makes my heart sink because it means she might be friends with Willow. I can’t get involved with someone like that again; it was one night and look where that got me.
Merle slides past my arm and encases my mystery girl in a bear hug, lifting her right off the ground and she lets out a harmony of giggles, each one piercing something inside me, because why is she not giggling for me?
My god, am I being jealous right now? Over a fucking cuddle?
I take a deep inhale and run my hand through my curls. I still have my sunglasses on so I take them off, hooking them onto my t-shirt. Her eyes flicker to mine as he puts her back down, that frown deepening. I can’t work out how she knows this group of people, because she seems warmer with him. I’m sure I’d remember short circuiting on impact if I’d already met her, in fact I feel slightly naked under her gaze. It burns my skin, soI desperately reach for Phoenix, wanting my unease to end. We really need to discuss his brother and I don’t think it can wait.
My mouth feels dry as I almost tug his arm off. “Coffee.”
The heart shaped faced angel scoffs and all I can do is blink back stunned, again. A thundering laugh escapes Phin as he sees what's going on, his hand squeezing my shoulder as the other ruffles my already messy hair.
“C’mon, let's bring you back to life,” he says, starting to lead me to the open doorway as everyone starts to make their way inside. “Sorry, Robin. Someone’s forgotten his manners before midday.”
Robin.
God how I want to say her name over and over.
PUSHING my uncaffeinated, deprived body onto a tall stool at a very expensive looking marble island, Phin heads to the coffee machine as I marvel at the kitchen. The walls are a biscuit tone with charcoal grey woodwork, including the drawers, cabinets and cupboards. The white marble stretches across the entire length of one wall, above it tall windows look into an orangery that is filled to the brim with foliage and plants. It’s a clean, long room to the left of the house, past the staircase and out of the way of the bustle I can hear from the main rooms.
He’s telling me how his brother has hired a team of people to set up and decorate for the murder mystery, but I’m not fully listening till I drain my first cup, passing it back so he can refill it. The brain fog clears as I start the second cup, Merle appearing to my right as he takes a seat, ending the opportunity to speak with Phin alone.God dammit.I momentarily consider finding a way to get him alone, but instead I say the first thing that comes to mind.
“Who is Robin? Is she one of Lily’s friends?” Reframing from shuddering, I really hope that isn’t the case. The socialite typeisn’t my thing, and something tells me that isn’t true, but I need verbal confirmation to ease the dread. I don’t know why I care so much, but already I crave anything they can tell me about her.
Almost like he can read my thoughts, Phin spins around grinning so wide, resting his elbows onto the counter behind him. “She grew up with us both, but you clearly haven’t listened to me a day in your life, because I’ve told you about her for years. She'smybest friend.” I really want to argue, but little pieces start to pull together. My fingers fiddle with the mug handle.
“Your writer friend? When you moved to York, she went with you, right?”
