My head leans lower. "From me?" I really try, but I can’t hide my smug smile, because that means she does know who I am. Hell, I bet she’s listened to our music too. She can pretend to be a hater all she wants—distance herself from me, but call me fucking Zoltar because I know she’s interested in me too. Before I can put less space between us, test where her boundary is at pushing me away, glittery fingers grab me by the shoulder andthe rush of my surroundings come back. I feel like someone just plucked me out of a warm bath I was content to drown in.
"C'mon superstar, let's go make some sweet, sweet music." Phin teases.
Reluctantly letting go of her, I push him, forever cringing inside at his terrible sense of humour that I'd secretly never give up anything for. "Why are you the way you are?" I’m not expecting any real sort of answer, because it's not a real question.
"Childhood trauma." Him and Robin both reply at the same time, slapping at each other and trying to invoke jinx.
I look at them both mortified, backing slowly towards the mic stand perched center stage. "God there's two of you..."
Pressing his lips to her cheek in a wet smack, she shrugs him off and he comes to stand beside me, picking up an aqua blue Gibson guitar that I know is from his own collection. They've turned one of the downstairs rooms into a bar and music room; creating a unique space that Phin can also work from when needed. I recognised all of his instruments and recording equipment, which makes sense since he sold his home in York to move into Nightingale. The space in the hotel is big enough for a group to play whilst guests watch, so it would be a great idea to host evenings with musicians.
We're setting up to start the cover of Taylor Swift that I have no shame about loving, when I watch Corbin stroll across the lawn. Lily trails after him with a death glare boring into the back of his skull. I wonder if he pisses off everyone he comes into contact with? There's no point ignoring the huge elephant at the murder mystery—he’s brought us all here under his own agenda and it can only end badly.
Jay delays the start by tuning his bass, so I edge slightly closer to the end of the rugs, humming to warm up my vocal cords. Band karaoke is casual and fun, but I still need to take care ofmy voice. I’d never really given it much thought really when I’d spend my days constantly singing, but once we got signed and went on tour, my life became constant voice rest and honey tea.
Corbin strides right up to Robin and her entire body goes stiff. The sudden urge to rush forward to remove him from her proximity almost suffocating me. Should I have such protective instincts for someone I just met? Probably not, but I can’t stand the way he sucks all the joy out of her. The idea of them being together makes me kind of murderous, because she's so far out of his league.
“Well that was just embarrassing for you.” I hear him say over the buzz of our instruments and I stop humming.
Did he actually just say that to her?
His hands are in his pockets and he stands crowding her space, a cruel smile on his mouth. “I don’t know why you guys still entertain this shit.”
Her lips part. I can see the torment and something close to panic starting to morph her features, which he eats up.
I need to get him out of her head and fast.
Spinning around to face Phoenix, he’s shaking out his limbs like he's about to play the most vigorous show of his life. “What song does Robin really like?” He looks at me dumbolded and I can't help gritting my teeth. “Quickly.” I make a rolling motion with my hand.
His head cocks to the side, but finally has his lightbulb moment, clicking his fingers. “Teenage Dirtbag.She kept playing it in the car this morning.”
My head snaps to the guys, flicking between Bran and Jay as I take a step back towards the center where I left the mic stand. “Change of song, we're playing Wheatus.”
“Fuck yeah!” Bran cheers, fist pumping the air and shuffling on his seat behind the drums. Jay nods and quietly relays the change to one of the guest musicians, who passes on the messageto the others. He’s been reserved today which isn't like the chipper Geordie at all, but I don't have the time to analyse that, when all I want is to get her attention off that cockroach, and onto me. Scrambling to swap his guitar for an acoustic, Phoenix throws the leather strap over his shoulder as Bran hits his foot pedal a couple of times. Despite having the guest musicians and without the other members of the band, the three of us fall into a natural rhythm, even Jay fits comfortably in with our timing. The acoustic and bass immediately start and I grasp the microphone, my other hand landing on the stand, just like always. The moment I start singing, I can’t take my eyes away from how life seems to breathe back into her. Those deep brown orbs sparkle with glee and she moves forward, pushing past him without a care, like the man doesn’t even exist. Her focus is entirely on me and I fucking thrive on it.
Her palms meet with an excited bounce, and I'm so captivated in her happiness that I can't hold back a grin. I raise my eyebrows in acknowledgement, draping my hands against the mic stand as I get ready to tilt it towards me and hit the higher notes.
"Oh for fuck sake, did you set this up?" I hear a gruff voice shout, as Cardinals tall form barrels past Corbin too, who can no longer hide his soured expression. He looks in disbelief around him, already fading into the background as even his fiancé pays me more attention. I should probably be worried of the repercussions that could follow, but despite watching his anger change from a simmer to a boil, I couldn't care less right now. I don’t hear her reply as I engage with Phin, his fingers moving over the strings effortlessly because this isn’t the first time we’ve played this song. It was a big request in the dorms when we created band karaoke all those years ago.
Mum would always say I learnt to sing before I even spoke tangible words—that it came so naturally. It still does, like eachtime I breathe it's begging to flow out in rhythmic notes. I used to play this game with her, where I'd turn our mundane routine that day into a song. I'd hum lyrics I'd make up on the spot about how she spread jam on my toast, or how we'd leisurely bike around my favourite park in London every Sunday. I'd commentate everything and not once did she ever tell me I was too much, or too loud. She never dimmed the spark I gave our little family and to her I owe everything I have.
I take the microphone from the stand and pull the cord so it snakes loosely behind me, inching closer to Phin who dramatically falls to one knee, serenading us all as like the silly bugger he is. I place one arm behind my back, playfully shaking my shoulders and feel the tension I've been holding roll off me like waves. When I'm singing nothing matters.
Phin stands back up to reach his mic just in time as we all harmonise the chorus. My voice sores and the adrenaline I usually feel in an arena stage vibrates in my bones. The boys carry out the fill in the song and I return to center, slotting my mic back onto the stand and find Robin's eyes sparkling at me. She has an iron grip on Cardinals arm as if to keep him firmly placed next to her. Despite their close proximity, she's not paying him an ounce of attention—in fact he looks like he's trying so hard to pretend like he'd rather be anywhere else, even with his fingers tapping his thighs to the beat. A cockiness I'd like to excuse as confidence takes over me and I wink at her, causing her to bite down on her bottom lip and it almost sends me feral, so much so that I have to turn around just to collect myself. I blankly fight over what the next lyrics even are because that’s what she does to me; tilts me completely upside down and I’m powerless to fight it. Stalking forward back to the mic, I continue to sing, reaching the perfect set of lyrics to roll my eyes directly into Corbin’s icy glare—he's the only one not singing along in the crowd of guests. We reach the second chorus andeveryone raises their voices, the guys once again harmonising with me as we carry each other through. The bridge finally hits and the group quietens, Phin hitting the acoustic softly after plucking a few notes. My voice dips, deepening into a hushed tone and I find myself just taking her in. The lights blur in my outer vision, the twinkling stars and streamers hanging from the trees above cease to move. Time almost halts, like we're hovering between a dimension, my soul ripped open for only her to explore. I might have everyone’s attention, but she’s completely captivated mine.
Smiling shyly, the unfamiliar feeling has me looking down and I hitch my voice higher than it naturally is supposed to go. I could pass the microphone to one of the girls to sing this part, but I kind of want to make Robin smile or even laugh. A giggle escapes her and I hear it over the band. My smile cracks even wider, especially when she drops her grip from his arm and holds onto my blazer. The way she looks at me, there’s no hesitation or fighting what we could have. I can’t explain how, but I know she can feel whatever this is between is too. If I was playing dumb I’d just call it sexual tension, but it’s so much more than that, like the stars are watching our fated collision from above.
We finish the song on a total high.
The guys convince me to stay and sing a couple more songs, before I’m finally allowed to leave the makeshift rug stage. After our first song I’d wanted to slip back to the table, but Phin wasn’t having any of my escape tricks. Even when I scratched my throat and dramatically looked around for a drink, he threw a screw cap bottle of water at me. We finish up a cover ofSemi-Charmed Lifeby Third Eye Blind, and I slot the microphone into the stand, slapping a hand on Jay’s shoulders as he leans the bass guitar next to an amp. He’s been our guitar tech since we first formed the band, but he plays like he came out of the womb able todo so. Moving behind him, I exit to the side through the tree coverage. Glittery gold stars and streamers hang low, meaning I have to duck a little, cursing as they lightly pepper me in the face.
Slightly disoriented to my whereabouts, I scan the gardens; most of the guests are now dispersed in little groups, some standing at the bar. I immediately spot Robin who is standing with both Lily and Mavis, a cocktail shaker rattling in the blonde's hands as she pours an unnaturally pink concoction into three glasses. All three take the cocktails and knock them together, both taking a sip whilst Lily watches. They wince in unison.
Walking up the cobbled path I veer onto the grass, making a beeline for them. Her back is to me and I lean into her space, my elbow on the bar as I rest my chin on my knuckles, the chunky rings biting a little.
“What did you think of the song, Wife?” She spins around and I’m met with wide doe like eyes, clearly taking her by surprise. A red flush coats her cheeks and she mindlessly sips the cocktail, wincing again like she forgot it’s not to her taste. Putting the glass down, I swipe it from the bar top and give it a sip. I don’t drink alcohol, but I’m so curious as to why she doesn’t like it. A strong note of watermelon is overpowered by a disgusting amount of what I think is vodka, but also something sour. I wince too, having to swallow or else I’d be in danger of spitting it out in front of all three of them. That’s just gross.
“Lily that’s fucking awful.”
