“You can’t stay here alone. The door’s broken,” Cain snapped.
“I’ll stay and guard the door—outside,” Reese growled.
“And who’ll guard the door when the MP’s show up to haul the two of you off to jail?” Dante asked tightly.
Cain and Reese exchanged an uncomfortable glance. “I’ve got enough credits to pay the fine.” He studied Amaryllis assessingly for a moment. “--For both of us,” he added belatedly.
Amaryllis sighed. “I’m tired, but I’m not hurt. Just go away, please, all of you, before they come.”
The three men exchanged silent communication and finally moved to the door. When they’d left, Amaryllis got off the bunk and shoved the chair across the floor, wedging it against the door. It wasn’t likely to keep anyone out who wanted to come in, not if Reese could break the door down when it had been locked, but it would serve as a delay and an alarm if anyone tried to come in.
Not that she thought anyone would.
She found she was too exhausted to consider trying to fix something to eat. Instead, she grabbed a piece of fruit and nibbled on it on her way to the shower.
When she’d bathed, she felt even more drained, not rejuvenated. Instead of dressing once more, she climbed into the bunk and closed her eyes. Rest didn’t come. Instead, she found herself idly stroking her rounded belly, wondering about the infant growing inside of her. There was no comfort in the fact that she hadn’t miscarried. That only meant it wasn’t too defective to live, not that it wasn’t defective.
She was afraid to allow herself to think it might not be. If she convinced herself that it would be alright and carried it to term, then discovered it was horribly malformed, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. It was cruel to inflict that kind of suffering on an innocent when it need not suffer at all, but she was afraid she’d already passed the point where it could be terminated painlessly. It was no longer merely a collection of multiplying cells, without a developed nervous system and brain to register pain. She hadn’t wanted to have to make the choice between giving it a life time of suffering or a quick death.
She was useless, powerless. She’d already failed the poor little thing and, one way or another, it was going to suffer for her incompetence.
Unable to come up with any solution or to bear thinking about it anymore when her head was aching fit to split from her endless quest for a solution, she turned her mind to trying to think what to do about Reese, Dante, and Cain. The competition between them had already erupted into violence several times. She didn’t want their lives destroyed by it.
She had to convince them, somehow, to stop. Choosing one didn’t seem a very good solution, even if she could, even if she didn’t feel that it was wrong to allow them to think she could provide them with a family. Somehow, she didn’t think that would end the fighting. Cain had suggested they could end up killing to get what they wanted and she didn’t think it was at all farfetched that they might, especially after tonight.
Chapter Twenty Two
Hammering on the door woke Amaryllis late the following morning. She sat up groggily just as Dante shoved the chair out of the way and looked in at her. Glaring at him, she grabbed her pillow and flung it at his head.
He ducked it, but a faint smile curled his lips. “You are feeling better today, I see.”
“I was,” she said crossly. “Go away.”
He frowned. “There is a town meeting today. You need to go. I will walk with you.”
“I’m not going,” Amaryllis muttered, falling back against the mattress and curling onto her side with her back to him.
Reese and Cain were standing in her living area when she came out of the shower sometime later. She checked, staring at them in outrage. Both men looked her over with keen interest.
“Is there a sign on that door that says ‘come right in’?” she demanded, pointing at the broken door.
Cain and Reese exchanged a sheepish look.
“Did Isayyou could come in?” she demanded when neither man answered.
Reese’s face hardened. “I came to escort you to the meeting.”
“Well, you can leave again, because I’m not going.”
“Everyone has to go,” Cain said. “I will escort you.”
“No, you won’t. You can both leave.”
They looked as if they wanted to argue the point, but after glaring back at her for several moments, both men stalked angrily from the room.
Amaryllis slammed the door and pushed the chair against it again. When she couldn’t hear them any longer and was certain they’d both left, she got dressed, then paced the living area until she decided the meeting had probably already started.
For once, luck seemed to be on her side. The meeting hall was filled to overflowing. When she arrived, everyone seemed to be in the grips of almost hysterical excitement and no one noticed when she entered and found a place to stand and listen among those late comers standing in the back of the room.
