“I was afraid they would separate us so that I could not protect you,” he growled irritably. “And….”
Amaryllis didn’t know whether to be insulted or flattered. She supposed she was a little of both. She’d assumed Reese had been so protective because he’d been under orders to watch her closely and she’d resented it.
It was still insulting that he’d considered her incapable of taking care of herself. “And?”
He sighed. “I was … uncertain.”
Amaryllis frowned. “Uncertain of what?”
He made a sound of impatience. “I was not programmed in the way to entice a female for the purpose of mating. I do not know how. I thought … I had planned to have that programming added,” he finished uncomfortably.
Amaryllis bit her lip, torn between the urge to giggle and the desire to comfort. “You did … very well with the sex,” she finally offered.
Instead of seeming pleased, he looked frustrated. “I could not have or you would have known that I was making love to you,” he said stiffly. “And you would not have allowed that …hunterto touch you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Guilt swamped Amaryllis. She resented feeling it. Nobody owned her. She wasn’t bound by any oath, or any contract. She had a perfect right to enjoy sex, or flirtation, with anybody she wanted to.
She didn’t want to hurt anyone, however, especially someone she cared for, and it sounded to her as if Reese was saying he was hurt by it.
Warmth spread through her, hopefulness that he actually felt something for her besides desire. Desire was good, and she wasn’t unappreciative, even if it didn’t necessarily follow that it was particularly personal. If he actually cared, though, and not merely in the sense that he believed he’d ‘marked’ his territory and had ownership rights….
There was something that didn’t quite fit, though.
“You weren’t jealous of Dante,” she pointed out hesitantly, remembering almost the moment she questioned it that he’d actually seemed pretty pissed off when he’d found her in Dante’s cabin, reeking of sex.
He seemed to wrestle with himself, but in the end he neither admitted nor denied the accusation. “He did not know that I wanted you for myself.”
Amaryllis thought that over and realized he was trying to make excuses for his brother.
“Besides, if I had done what I wanted to, I would have been here, while you were there.”
She hid a smile. It was as much of an admission as he was likely to make. Hewasjealous. He was still ruled more by logic than emotion, though, or he wouldn’t have considered the consequences untilafterhe’d made his peace with his brother.
That wasn’t such a bad thing, was it?
There was a lot to be said for having enough self control to think things through before acting.
She shook her head at the direction of her thoughts, realizing she was actually entertaining the thought of accepting Reese’s offer. It was insane even to consider it and not because of any prejudice about him being a cyborg. He was right. He was as human as she was, however he’d been created.
The thing was, he was no more cut out for forming an alliance than she was. Whatever he wanted, or believed he wanted, he’d been designed strictly as a killing machine. Maybe he was right and it would take no more than additional programming to fix that little problem, but she had her doubts that anything could completely overcome his previous programming and it was out of the question even to think about complete reprogramming. He wouldn’t be the same person and she adored the person he was.
“We will talk when we reach Gallen.”
“Gallen?”
“Home.”
The single word raised a plethora of feelings, but yearning was uppermost … for her own home, for her mother. She wished desperately that she could seek her mother’s advice, but then it occurred to her that her mother would probably think she was a basket case even to consider having a serious relationship with a cyborg.
She wouldn’t understand that Reese was a person, not a machine.
It was as well that Reese thought it best to hold the discussion until they reached the world the cyborgs called home. It would give her time to learn what if any options she had and to decide what she really wanted to do.
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or sorry when she discovered she needn’t worry that Reese would change his mind and try to press her for an answer. The guards arrived later that evening and moved him to another cell further along the corridor. Six dreary days later, she was released from lock up. The day after that, they landed.
Chapter Sixteen
