He released her, eyeing her warily, but after glaring at him indecisively for several moments, she merely turned and plowed her way through the crowd of onlookers.
They’d begun to shout encouragement—though for whom she hadn’t a clue—as if the fight were for their entertainment.
They were like … juveniles, she thought with some dudgeon, pausing to watch as Reese and Dante battled the cyborgs trying to bring order with only one goal in mind—Cain. Cain watched their progress with interest, his arms crossed over his chest, one shoulder against the column where she’d been standing with him.
It dawned on her abruptly that, in a very real sense, she supposed they were juveniles.
They’d been conceived in a lab, attained awareness of the world at maturity. They might be bastardized human beings, but they were still human beings—super human—but still with many of the same weaknesses. They’d been programmed, but deprived of the natural learning processes of humans. The dam created by programming and drugs had burst and they were experiencing emotions they had no idea of how to deal with because they had no experiences to draw from, and the cyborgs were even more deprived than the hunters who’d at least been given a past, programmed childhood experiences. Nor had they been given social skills simply because they’d never been intended to be anything other than killing machines.
It was no doubt only because of their programming as soldiers that they’d managed any sort of order at all.
Despite the disgust she felt at their display of barbarism, empathy welled inside of her, as well, and for the first time she felt a true kinship with them rather than the sense of alienation she’d felt since her capture and the realization that she was the only natural born human being in a sea of bio-engineered beings. She’d experienced much of the same anger, frustration and—in truth—fear. She’d wanted to belong, to fit in, and didn’t feel as if she did. She’d wanted love, passion, romance and had no idea of how to go after those things she wanted to experience so badly for herself or deal with those basic human needs.
She still didn’t know how to deal with it.
Giving the growing melee in the center of the rec room a wide berth, she left the room and, after a little thought, headed for the barracks.
The barracks was deserted. She was relieved and at the same time unnerved by the absolute quiet in the huge room usually rustling with movement and whispers.
She wasn’t altogether certain of why she’d returned to the barracks. All she’d had on her mind was putting as much distance between herself and the battle in the rec room as possible. She could’ve gone anywhere on the ship, but the barracks had come to represent a refuge as much as a prison. It wasn’t much of a refuge anymore, not when everyone had the run of the ship.
The timing stank. Just when she’d started to think being imprisoned wasn’t so bad if it meant she could avoid a confrontation with Reese and Dante, the commander decides to be generous and give them the run of the ship!
Just when Cain had decided to behave outrageously and kiss her right in front of both Reese and Dante!
It might almost have been funny except for the fact that there’d been no time for tempers to cool and by now Reese, Dante, and Cain were most likely cooling their heels in the brig.
It was good enough for them!
How dare they fight over her anyway, as if it would make any difference at all.Ifshe decided to stayshewould be the one to decide whom she wanted to be with.
Who was she kidding? There wasn’t going to be an ‘if’ to it. Cain was probably right about the rest of the hunters. If they tried to go back now, they’d be on Robotics, Inc.’s hit list. She might find herself on it, for that matter, because of what she knew, but if she could avoid that pitfall, then she certainly didn’t have to face the fear and hate that they would once it was known that they were cyborgs, as well. The hitch was that she doubted she would be allowed to return and she certainly wasn’t going to make it back on her own. She wasn’t a cyborg. She couldn’t just download the information off of their data bases like the others could and she was no pilot.
If they didn’t find out what she was, she might well be more accepted by the cyborgs than she had been by her own people, but that was another big ‘if’. Reese knew. Dante knew. Even if they kept that information to themselves, how long before others figured it out? And, if and when they did, what then?
She massaged her aching temples.
Maybe the safest thing she could do was just to give in to the inevitable? Reese had said he wanted her for his mate. He would protect her secret.
Cyborg or not, she certainly couldn’t claim to be repulsed by him.
She realized then that one of the things that was really bothering her was her reaction to all three men. Maybe she wasn’t fit to contract with anyone? Her father had contracted twice before he’d contracted with her mother, her mother once before, but in her memory neither of them had even once considered terminating contract or breaching it by taking a lover outside their contract.
She’d been as interested in the opposite sex as any other healthy female, but, naturally enough, she’d only been able to wish from afar until she was full grown. By that time, she’d decided to join the militia, however, and she hadn’t had much opportunity to experiment with her sexuality. Both of the times she’d tried sex it had been a complete disappointment, even though she’d considered both of them attractive at the time.
How could she have guessed that she would be insatiable?
She didn’t know whether to put it down to some defect in her morals or chemical makeup, or if she’d always had the potential and it had just been stifled by the meds the company gave them.
She would’ve liked to think that, maybe, she’d reacted to Reese and Cain the way she had because she’d had a huge crush on both men, but then what excuse could she give herself for Dante?
Even if she wanted to contract, was she fit for it? Or would she find herself serving time for breach?
She frowned, trying to remember whether she’d ever had a reaction with anyone else even close to what she’d experienced with Reese, Dante, and Cain. She couldn’t, but then three was bad enough, and she couldn’t be certain that she wouldn’t if the opportunity arose.
One thing was for sure, she didn’t want to know badly enough to experiment and see. Everyone was off their meds and on the prowl now. She had enough trouble with what she’d already stirred up.
Almost as if on cue, she heard footsteps and looked up to see Violet striding toward her purposefully. Her belly clenched, but she’d known it was coming.
