“You were wondering about the ... your infant.”
He looked at her piercingly. “Ours.”
Confused, Dalia tilted her head curiously. “I don’t ... oh!” She shrugged. “I prefer not to think of it that way.”
Something flickered in his eyes that made her heart jolt uncomfortably in her chest, but he looked away and she wondered if she had misinterpreted it.
“Why?”
She let out a shaky breath and stared down at the mound that prevented her from looking at her feet. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face tiredly. “Why didn’t you come to me and tell me about the problem with the female, Zenia?”
Dalia glanced up at him in surprise. “I didn’t think about it. I didn’t know how even if I had.”
He made a sound of frustration and got up from the desk abruptly. “Damn it, Dalia! You could have spoken to the guards. Don’t you know I would’ve done something sooner if I’d known?”
She shrugged. “No, I didn’t, but it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
“It matters.”
She sighed. “I didn’t think about it at first. I had no idea it would take so long to get here, or that the infant would grow so fast, or that Zenia would only become more hostile with time instead of less. After a while, I realized she was only awaiting an opportunity to strike. I didn’t know what you might do to me if I was embroiled in a fight and the infant was hurt. After a while, I realized I couldn’t defend myself anyway. I’d gotten too slow, too clumsy and too weak.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think any of the others would help me, because they would expect me to be able to defend myself, but then I remembered Pierce from the academy and I knew he would take care of me.”
“The blond one.”
She looked at him. It wasn’t really a question and in any case he knew very well who Pierce was. “What did you do with Zenia?”
He shrugged. “She is being treated. It seems doubtful that her mind can be repaired, but there is nothing we can do but try.”
Dalia nodded. She was relieved, not because she particularly cared about Zenia herself, but because she was glad to know that she hadn’t misjudged the cyborgs. They might not be human, but they were capable of humane treatment. “What will you do with me when this is finished?” she asked, gesturing toward her abdomen.
He said nothing for several moments and finally Dalia glanced up at him. The pain she’d thought she glimpsed before was evident now and he made no attempt to hide it. “Do you hate me so much?”
Dalia was startled. “I don’t hate you at all.”
He searched her face and some of the anguish left his expression. “I am ... as defective in my own way as Zenia,” he said at last. “I made mistakes and because I was angry, I made more mistakes, until I did not know how to make it stop.
“Then, when I saw you with ... him, I knew it was too late and I had completely screwed everything up.”
Dismay filled her. “Don’t.” She smiled wryly. “We’re all defective, I guess. I’ve made so many mistakes, but I’m learning. I think, I hope, next time, if there is a next time, I’ll do better. But I don’t hate you because I know you were right. I thought about it a lot. I know what I did was unforgivable. I can’t even forgive myself. I wouldn’t expect you to. And it was more than that. I was programmed to fight, to kill, not to nurture. I don’t think I can. Maybe, in time, I’ll change.”
He swallowed with an obvious effort. “I did not mean the things I said to you.”
She nodded. “It’s all right. I’m over it now.”
“Are you?”
She chewed her lip. “Mostly.”
“Mostly?” he said pensively, taking a step toward her. “Not completely?”
Dalia eyed him nervously and glanced toward the door. She could see that he’d locked it. She held up her hand. “Don’t. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“I cannot.”
“Why not?” she asked plaintively.
“You know why.”
