"I swear to god—"
"Dude. You should've seen your face when he was getting dressed. You looked like someone fucking unplugged your brain."
I throw a pillow at him. He dodges. "I don't know what to do," I mutter. "Like, I actually don't fucking know what to do."
"Well..." He sits on the armrest next to me, fake serious. "Option one: confess everything. Option two: suffer in silence and spiral into madness."
"I'm already spiraling!"
"Then we're ahead of schedule."
"I was supposed to keep it casual," I say, more to myself now. "I said I don't want anything serious. That I'd ruin him if we tried, and I already know that there is no future for us."
"And yet here you are, Giovanni," Lorenzo says, "all ruined and romantic. Honestly, it's kind of hot."
"Shut up."
"Admit it. You don't want it to end."
"No," I snap. "I fucking don't. I want to wake up next to him every day. I want to kiss him in public. I want to fight with him about where to eat and then ignore him for five minutes and then fuck him against the kitchen counter."
Lorenzo holds up his hands. "Okay, okay, okay, no need for visual aids."
"But he's going to leave, and I can't stop him."
"Maybe you don't have to."
I shake my head. "No. We agreed. It is temporary. Just... what it is. He said it. I said it. And now if I say more, I will ruin it."
"Ormaybe," he says, "you give him a reason to stay."
I go quiet. Because deep down? That's what I fucking want. But I'm too scared to say it. Too scared that if I do, he'll run faster.
He walks over and throws a pack of gum at me. "What's this for?" I ask.
"For when you go full panic and start smoking everything in the house."
I roll my eyes. Then sigh.
Lorenzo claps his hands once, standing up. "Anyway. While you stew in your romantic misery, I'm gonna shower and pretend I don't live in a goddamn telenovela."
He walks away, still laughing.
I’m staring at nothing.
I love him.
And he's leaving. And I have no fucking idea what to do.
I'm screwed.
2) Gay Panic
Rava
I haven’t even walked in properly and the door is already wide open for me.
My personal life has been screaming in agony ever since I got into my dad’s car. I should’ve taken a fucking taxi.
