"What the fuck was that?!" I run a hand through my hair, pace once. Almost trip on the goddamn rug. She KNOWS. And she's fine with it. Worse, shelikeshim.
SHE LOVES HIM. My mom loves Gio. She thinks he's good for me. And it's not just her. My brother Jin talks to him about basketball like they're best friends now.
And my sister looks me dead in the eye every other day and goes, "Honestly, I'm team Gio." Like this is a fucking reality show. I groan, drop to sit on the edge of the bed, elbows on my knees, face in my hands.
It was supposed to be hard and complicated. That's how I survive it. If everyone hates him, like dad does, if they warn meaway, make it feel dangerous, stupid, wrong, maybe I could walk away.
Maybe I'd have to. But now I’ve got a mother who calls it love. And a house full of people who have already picked a side. And it's not mine.
It's his. And I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with that.
9) You’ve Been Blessed
Rava
My mom and I are on the way to pick up Noah from the airport. I'm not gonna lie, it's awkward as fuck. The whole drive. We both know why.
The more I think about the fact that my mother currently knows I'm having sex with a man, the more I want to open the car door, roll onto the highway and let natural selection handle it.
Just launch myself into the road. Let me die. Honestly, I'd feel less embarrassed than I do right now. And it's not shame because it's Gio. That's actually the flex part. If anything, a littlevoice in my head is like, hell yeah, at least your questionable life choices are hot.
It's the fact that it's my mom. And I don't care that I'm twenty-two, it's still weird as hell. On one hand, she's my mom and I love her, and I hate having secrets from her. On the other hand, I can't do this.
I can't sit here and basically confirm, out loud, "Yeah, mom, something is happening between me and him, but…it's nothing serious. We're just fucking like animals."
It sounds awful. Itisawful.
"So... remind me, Noah's the tattoo artist, right?"
"Yeah."
"You two met in college?"
"Yeah."
"He's the one who did your tattoos, isn't he?"
I glance at her. "Yes. He's really good at this." She smiles faintly. Silence again. "Does he…know about Gio?"
I hesitate. "Yeah." I look out the window. "He knows too much." Another beat of silence. "So are you and Gio...seeing each other?"
"Kind of. In secret."
She nods, like that makes perfect sense. "And who knows?" "Lorenzo. Daisy. Noah." She doesn't say anything for a moment.
"And how do you feel about him?"
I inhale slowly. "It's not simple."
"I didn't ask if it was. I asked how you feel."
I shift in my seat. My hands are tight in my lap. "I feel like he ruins everything and makes it better at the same time. I feel like…like I'm not in control anymore."
She nods. Another pause. "Do you think it's serious?" I look down. Swallow. "Itfeelsserious. At least for me." She smiles, gently. "That's not a bad thing, you know."
"Sometimes it feels like it is."
She sighs. She doesn't push more. Which, honestly, makes it worse. Then she shifts gears, literally and figuratively. "What are you planning for October?" I stare ahead. "I don't know..."
