"I said it," I say, laughing now. "Out loud. To his face."
"YOU SAID 'I LOVE YOU' TO GIO?!"
"Yes, Noah."
"And?!"
"He said it back. Well, to be fair, he said it first. And I said it back." There is this one beat of total stillness. Then he slowly sinks to the floor on his end of the video call, clutching his chest. "I can't feel my legs," he whispers. "This is it. This is how I die."
I groan and walk over to the line, grabbing the last damp shirt to hang. "You're such a freak."
"NO. FINALLY MY CHILDREN HAVE COME HOME."
"I hate you."
"I AM SO PROUD I COULD COMBUST. You're in love. He loves you. You're doing laundry at his place. THIS IS HUSBAND BEHAVIOR, RAVA."
I snort. "It'slaundry. Not awedding."
"Don't play with me. I know you. You're probably folding his socks by color. Did you wipe down the counter? Are you gonna alphabetize his spice rack next?"
"Yes I might, Noah, leave me alone."
"God, Giosodeserves you." I look back at the phone while folding Gio's shirt badly, but it's the thought that counts.
"Oh—and it doesn't stop there," I say casually. Noah, from the floor, still has his hands on his face. "Remember that little girl from the beach? The one who was making sand castles with Gio?"
His eyebrows rise. "...Yes?"
"She made us matching bracelets."
"Oh okay. So, basically wedding rings. Got it. What else?" "Shut up."
"No, please. Continue, Rava. I'm just ordering your engraved champagne flutes."
I roll my eyes. "Listen." I take a breath. "Yesterday…my dad punched Gio." His head snaps up into the frame. "WHAT?!"
I nod. "Oh yeah." His mouth is already half-open to scream again. "And you know what I do after that?"
He shakes his head, muttering, "Please don't say murder..."
"I kiss Gio. In front of my father."
"Wait, like—"
"Tongue. Hands. Everything."
Noah's scream echoes so loud Lulu hisses. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?!" I fold another T-shirt. "I don't know, man. I just—I snapped. I told him everything." I swallow, rubbing my eyebrow. "He hates Gio. You know that."
"YEAH. THE WHOLE PLANET KNOWS THAT."
"So…maybe I yelled in his face that I've been sleeping with Gio. And that I love him." Noah's screen freezes for a second. He isn't blinking.
"…Hello?" I ask. He raises one finger. "Give me a moment," he says. "I'm trying to process the fact that my quiet, passive-aggressive, cardigan-wearing best friend just casually dropped a declaration of love and sex and emotional war on his psychotic father like it is a damn school presentation."
I sit down on the little couch on the balcony.
"Bro."
