Why did I try so hard? Why did I spend years bending myself into shapes he wouldn’t bother looking at? Why did I keep waiting for a version of him that doesn’t exist? He’s the same man he’s always been. A wall pretending to be a father.
I drag the back of my hand across my cheek, wiping away the last tear I will ever shed because of him. That’s it. I’m done bleeding for you. If I hurt you now, that’s on you.
You made this version of me.
"You spent your life trying to make me fear you. I don’t. I don’t fucking care anymore. I love who I am. I love what I do. And I sure as hell love him, whether you like it or not." I point straight at Gio without breaking eye contact. I step even closer.
"Take your threats," I hiss, eyes still locked on Charles, "and shove them so far up your ass maybe they’ll knock whatever human decency you had left back into place. Whatever you try to do, I’ll find a way out of it. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m fucking done with you and your bullshit."
He moves toward me. My heart goes from already-bad to full siren mode. Because I don’t trust him. Not with that look in his eyes. He’s capable of anything when he’s this angry.
And it’s insane, that all of this is happening because I love the "wrong" person too much. I barely get one breath in before Gio grabs me. "Rava, let’s go."
He pulls me back hard, my feet tripping over themselves. He shoves the door open, drags me through, and slams it inCharles’ face before he can do anything. I’m shaking so badly my hands don’t feel attached to me anymore. Gio kisses me while we’re still moving. Probably because he’s insane in the way that makes me survive. And that kiss is pure panic dressed up as affection.
He pulls away just enough to breathe against my mouth. "I’m pretty sure I fell for you even harder."
I blink, swallow hard. "Let’s get the hell out of this place."
I nod, but then I see my mom. "Mom—?" She’s rushing up, breathless, holding onto the rail with one hand. "What happened? I heard shouting, are you—!" Then she sees Gio. She stops cold. Her eyes lock on the bruise. The blood.
She gasps. "Oh my God."
We don’t even get to answer. I see Charles coming down the stairs again and my whole body goes cold. I grab my mom’s arm. "Mom, I’ll tell you everything later, okay? Please. Go somewhere else. Not home. Please." I kiss her cheek way too fast and don’t wait for an answer.
I grab Gio’s hand and run. We’re sprinting down the hallway. Gio drags me behind him and shoves us into the first empty room he finds. He locks it. We freeze. Both of us pressed flat against the door, holding it with our backs. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.
"Open the door now, you little shit!" Charles yells from the hallway. The whole door shakes. My eyes squeeze shut on instinct. I hate his voice. Every word is a fucking flashback.
"Rava!" he yells. "You open this door right now! Do you hear me?!" I don’t answer. Tears spill before I even realize I’m crying. One second my vision is fine, the next everything is blurry. "You disgusting sinners!" he yells, punching the door again. "You think you can hide from God behind a fucking door?"
I jump a little at the hit. Gio’s hands fly up to my ears.
He turns toward me, grabs my face with both hands and pulls me away from the door. My back hits the wall beside it.
"Ravioli. Look at me," he says.
Another slam on the door. "OPEN IT, RAVA! NOW!"
A quiet sob rips out of me. I try to swallow it back, but it doesn’t work. Gio presses his forehead against mine. "Rava, it’s okay. Look at me," he repeats, firmer. He presses his palms over my ears again, blocking the sound as much as he can. "Focus here for a bit. Okay?"
"You filthy boy!" Charles keeps screaming from the other side. "You bring SHAME into this family—"
My tears fall faster. One drops onto Gio’s hand.
"You’re perfect, Rava. Listen to me. You are fucking perfect, baby. There is nothing wrong with you." Charles hits the door so hard it rattles in the frame. "Come out and face what you ARE!" he yells. "Look at you, clinging to that—"
"I said don’t fucking listen to him," Gio snaps, pushing his forehead harder into mine. His fingers tighten in my hair. "You’re the best fucking thing that ever happened to me. You hear that?"
A broken laugh escapes me through the tears. "Don’t—don’t say that now." "I’m saying it now exactly," he insists. "You’re the best.The best. That man out there?" He jerks his chin toward the door. "He doesn’t know shit."
Another slam. "YOU’RE SICK, BOTH OF YOU!" I flinch again. Gio’s hands press harder over my ears, almost completely muffling the voice. Our noses brush. His eyes are wet too. "You hear me, Ravioli?" he says. "You are not dirty. You are not wrong. You’re a blessing." More tears fall. I can’t even wipe them. They just slide down my face, onto his hands.
He leans in and kisses me. Our lips crash together right as Charles slams the door again. I’m crying into it. I taste the salt.My fingers clutch his shirt, pulling him closer. I don’t even know if I’m seeking comfort or trying to hold myself up.
"You’re perfect, Rava," he murmurs between kisses. "You’re perfect. You’re perfect. He’s just a man yelling at a door. You’re more than that." He kisses me again, softer. His thumbs swipe at the tears on my cheeks. "You’re the best thing," he whispers. "The absolute best thing. I swear."
Another slam. And even as my tears keep falling, I kiss him back. Because if I’m going to be called a sinner either way, I’d rather do it with his mouth on mine. His eyes sweep the room.
