He’s got a mouthful of chicken breast, but tries to answer me anyway. “Mo. Worst Ally McBeal.” Or at least, that’s what I heard.
“What?” My laugh breaks free at how ridiculous he looks and sounds with his mouth full.
He makes an exaggerated swallowing motion, looks like it takes a lot of effort to clear out his mouth, before he tries again. “No, I worked out a deal.”
“You…worked out—what does that mean, Stone? What did you do? Please tell me you didn’t jeopardize your role.” Fear creeps up my spine, claws at my throat at the thought of him risking this job, which has basically made his career what it is today, giving him a launching pad to jump into some seriously high-profile movie roles in the next three to five years. Word is, he’s being considered for a major nominationthis awards season. He can’t fuck that up.
He shoots me a lethal smirk, eyes lifting to meet mine from the other side of my tiny dining room table. It’s not enough space between us to keep the heat from swarming to my cheeks, flushing at just alookfrom this man, despite all of our…unfinished business, if you will. The knowledge that we both want the same thing, for the first time ever, whereusis concerned, isn’t lost on me. In fact, it’s hard to get that thought out of my mind even while watching him try to talk around a mouthful of food. He swallows the next bite and tries again.
“I didn’t fuck it up, if that’s what you’re thinking, Gem. You’re sweet to worry about me. I just made a very convincing case to my producers and the showrunner.”
When he doesn’t bother telling me anything else, I hit him with an impatient look and twirl my fingers in the air, in the universal signal forgo on, asshole. He chuckles at it and humors me.
“So you know how we left off last season?”
“Obviously,” I reply dryly. We both know I was there for every single day of shooting, every single scene he filmed, up until late in the season, but it’s not like I didn’t keep up with the show since then. I have my ways to get intel.
“So I gave the bosses an idea. What if my character got captured by the rival family for an indefinite period, rather than an immediate rescue like they’d had planned. It’s kind of like a hiatus for me. I’ll have to go in to film just one or two shots over the next few weeks, but otherwise, my character will be off-camera for at least the first four or six episodes, but maybe longer. I even planted the seed of the option of him being killed off if needed.”
My jaw drops. “Why the fuck would that be needed, Stone? What is wrong with you! We worked so fucking hard to get you to this role, to get you to this place.”
He pauses for a second, not answering me until he’s captured my gaze with those striking, deep blue eyes of his. “All of that means nothing if I’ve ruined this, Gem. You’ve been there for me our entire lives. I’ve taken advantage of that, taken you for granted time and time again, and done so many things I’m ashamed of. But this is my time to be here for you. To show up for you. To support you, for once. To make this right. If you don’t want me to go back, I won’t. I wouldn’t trade what I want with you for anything.”
Suddenly, the air is tight, my breaths are shallow, and the room might start spinning if I don’t get some oxygen into my lungs.
“It was a hard sell, but I was honest with my bosses. Alex was there too, and she may have helped me sell it to them, too. But in the end, they took my suggestions on the storyline and the path for my character, and they wished me luck. I think they’re considering it a mental wellness break for me, if I’m honest.” He shrugs, self-deprecatingly. “It kind of is, I guess. I went pretty nuts without you this summer.”
My jaw is stammering. I’m speechless. For once. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that, Aaron. No part of me wants your career to be ruined for me.”
He shrugs a shoulder like it’s no big deal, but it’s a big fucking deal. A huge one, actually.
“Let’s just hope I can win you over before they get tempted to kill me off then.” The half smile tells me he’s only half-joking. This crazy kid really would let his career go up in flames if that’s what it took to make things up to me.
“Aaron, your career was never the problem. Your fucking attitude was.”
“I know that, Gem. I do. But if my career is keeping me away from you, showing you how much my attitude and my priorities have changed… It’s just on the back burner for the time being. Okay? Please don’t worry about me, Jellybean. This is my chance to finally show up for you for once.”
“But…” The words don’t come to me, because what can I even say to him? A big part of me is touched that he would make such a drastic gesture to right things between us, but most of me thinks he’s a fucking idiot for risking it.
“Look. You know I’ve been pretty smart with my earnings.” A self-indulgent smirk breaks out on his face. “For the most part. Anyway, even if I never acted again, I’d be okay, Gem. My investments are doing good. I don’t need the money from acting at this point. And nothing is more important to me than getting you back in my life. So I don’t wanna hear any arguments onthis, okay? I’m here for you. If you want, we can revisit this in another month or so, before the next meeting I have scheduled with the bosses.”
I nod softly at that, still lost for words. It’s really sinking in how serious he is about making things right between us, and I’m worried when he gets his turn to speak his side of things, the rest of what he has to say is only going to melt my heart that much further. Trepidation builds in my core, seeping out like a cold wave to my vital organs. Nervous energy is brewing, with no outlet. I’m not hungry anymore, so I push back from the table (he follows, as he always does these days), and make my way to the same seat I had on the loveseat the night that broke us for good.
I sit sideways in it, my back pressed against the rolled arm on the far side of the couch. My right leg comes up, folded under my leg that’s still hanging off the edge of the couch, making sure I’m comfy and facing him, as he mirrors my position across from me, but not nearly far enough away for my heart’s protection.
I have a feeling the barely two feet of space between our faces is going to feel like a single breath as I finally let him spill what he needs to. His confessions, apologies, realizations, dreams, whatever they may be. I’m ready to hear them.
“Okay,” I tell him. “I want to hear what you have to say.”
THIRTY-ONE
GEMMA
Aaron takes a deep breath, puffs out his cheeks, lets it out, and lets it rip.
“Look. I know there’s nothing I can say to make my behavior make sense to you. It still doesn’t make sense to me. There’s no excuse for what a fucking tool I was.” His frank admission makes me laugh out loud, despite the somber setting, the tension. He gives me a wry smile and keeps talking.
“But I’m going to do my best to explain it, from my perspective, after a lot of reflecting and my come-to-Jesus with my mom… I’ve realized a lot of things, Gem. And I want you to hear them from me. All of them. So if you’re willing to hear me out, it’s my turn. I want to come clean with you, fully, and let you know exactly where I stand.”
