The Kid
For as far as we’ve come
And since he’s in Europe, seven hours ahead of me, I was asleep when he sent it, so he kept the lyric going by himself, until he finished the verse.
I’ll never forget what I left
How can reaching the top make you feel so alone and glum
The world’s at your fingers but you’re lonely and bored to death
I didn’t wake up and answer for hours.
Me
I thought you weren’t supposed to listen to emo while filming? Remember the Lone Tear of 21?
That wasn’t a tear. My eye was rejecting the humidity level in the desert.
They had to reshoot the entire scene, Aaron. Your director wanted to murder you for crying during your big fucking action sequence.
I’m in Europe. Everyone is emo.
Plus, my role is an underappreciated genius of an artist. I could argue this is just me getting into character.
Your new assistant better get a handle on this listening sesh before it gets out of hand. They’re slacking.
She’s no you.
There was a solid ten minutes between that text and the next one, as I had absolutely no idea how to respond, and planned on leaving it at that. But his next message landed a blow to my gut that’s had me reeling for the three days since.
Miss you, Gem.
As easy as it would’ve been, as truthful as it would’ve been to tell him how I’ve missed him too, a part of me will never be complete without him in my life, I’ve drawn a line in the sand, and I intend to stick to the side of that line clearly labeledfriend. Anything that entertains deeper feelings stays over there. So I deflected. My worry at his sentimental words still peered through, and his response didn’t help much.
You good kid?
Mostly.
Oof.I can only hope—for his sake, purely—that him getting back home this weekend helps. Look, I can’t foresee a day where Idon’tcare about this kid’s wellbeing. I’ve just been balancing it, limiting it to what I’m pretty sure society would deem an acceptable level of care from one friend to another. Making sure to spend way more time with my boyfriend, texting him, talking to him, enjoying life with him, than I spend thinking about myfriend.
In the name ofbalance, I make a point to end this trip down memory lane with a scroll through my texts with Spencer, and I light up at the last few he sent me.
Spence ??
Gonna miss you so much tonight, gorgeous. Don’t tell the boys, but guys night is nowhere near as much fun as our nights together. They’d revoke my membership card if they saw that text. Might delete this. ??
Have fun without me tonight? Maybe take a pic or video if it gets to be too much fun? ??
I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. ??
Maybe I’ll come to your place to eat breakfast in bed.
(Your code name is breakfast.)
And with that promise on the horizon, I head back to the house for lunch with my parents; ready to deflect questions about one man in my life, wondering if it’s time to introduce them to the other.
EIGHTEEN
