It’s this side of him that pulls out my fiercest protective nature. Nobody who isn’t in this position can even begin to understand the level of self-doubt, the absolute psychosis that goes on inside someone’s head when you can’t accept anyone or anything at face value. I think it was Aaron’s second major role where it finally hit me how isolating this life is for those in the industry.
The tears brewing in his eyes are about to have me threatening shit there’s no way I can make good on, but I’d do whatever it takes to make him feel better right now. Luckily, he attempts to lighten the mood before I offer to whip out a machete or something.
“Do I need to find a new takeout place? That would really suck, nobody else gets the sauce just right. Will you check and see?” If he didn’t pull the puppy dog eyes out on me right now, I mighta been able to say no. Alas, there’s no denying him like this, so I turn to page one-forty-whatever and scan the trash column for whatever bullshit it’s spouting about my bestie.
He chews on his lower lip nervously while I do a quick half-read of what’s printed and scoff at the end. “It’s nothing, Stone.”
His eyes dart up to meet mine again, and I know what he’s asking without him voicing it.
“It says that you are getting ready for a role. They’ve got nothing on you, kid. We got ’em. We cut their one source out of your life, and you’re safe now. Of course these magazines are going to keep making crap up about you, the bigger you get, the more they’re gonna wanna talk about you, but we know they’ve got nothing useful on you. Who cares if they talk about your favorite childhood stuffed animal or the fact that you used to get wedgies in school. No one who’s currently in your life has anything but great things to say about you, and they’re not even saying that to these fuckers.”
“It was myassistant, Gem. The person I brought in to help me deal with this madness that’s supposed to be my life. How am I supposed to trust someone else again?”
My head falls for a second, while I struggle to keep my own emotions in check. The lump in my throat is hard to swallow down, but I manage, saying yet another silent curse to the sons of bitches who’ve wronged this young man and made him scared of his own dreams.
Eventually, I bring my arms up, bent and folded like wings, resting my elbows on either of Aaron’s thighs with a level of familiarity and comfort that only exists between the two of us, so I can maintain both physical touch and eye contact while I work to reassure him.
“Look. For one thing, we caught Marcus. He’s gone. And he’ll never get another job in your circle. Karma got him, and it will continue to get him. He can go be a fry cook or whatever the fuck he wants, but his career in this industry ended when he started selling stories about you to the press.”
Aaron’s eyes haven’t left mine even once during this little speech, and I continue holding them with my own as I keep going. “For another, we learned how important it is to have people on your team sign NDAs, and we won’t make that mistake again, hmm?”
I don’t know whose job it should’ve been to help prepare him for life in the limelight, maybe his parents? But they’re hardly older than us, and they have less than zero experience in the industry. Maybe his manager or his agent could’ve done a better job preparing him for what to expect, but nobody cares about this kid the way I do. I don’t think they even believed he would blow up as quickly as he did, they didn’t give him the level of guidance and attention he needed, and he was kind of on his own in this.
So when Mara went to TMZ and did her little interview, prompting Marcus to try to make a quick buck off of Aaron, too, this time by hitting the tabloids as an anonymous source, I went into mama bear mode. I kicked everyone questionable out of his life, cut it down to only those weknewwe could trust, and started doing some research.
Turns out, his staff should’ve been under legal requirements not to speak about anything they see or hear, and we just didn’t know to do that yet. What eighteen-year-olds do? Unfortunately, we learned that lesson the hard way. Fortunately, we should be able to keep Aaron better protected in the future. We won’t be naive when letting someone into the fold again.
Even with all that, he’s still been too scared to bring anyone else into his life, and with the recurring panic attacks, I can understand him being extra sensitive about allowing some random person to witness his weakest moments. But he’s got too much going on now to handle it alone, and with school, I can’t help him out as much as I wish I could. He’s gotta let someone else in eventually, I just hope I’m helping him get there sooner rather than later.
One of his legs starts jiggling anxiously, and he’s back to chewing at his lower lip again, his eyes darting around nervously. One of his hands comes up and starts playing with that lip, and then all the motion ceases. His eyes slowly track back to mine and freeze there. That hand that was on his mouth reaches out and clasps my face, and apparently it’s my insides’ turn to start jiggling and wiggling. My stomach is flipping and flopping, my lady bits singing at the intimate contact of his skin on mine.
“I should’ve picked you,” he breathes out.
My head nods automatically, because this is something I hear him saying to me in my daydreams every single day.Mara was using him; I knew she wasn’t right for him from the start. The girls before her weren’t a whole lot better, either. But if he’s seen the light, we could be absolutely everything together.
“No one looks out for me like you do, Gem.”
My head nods again, and it’s almost too good to be true. He’s finally realized what I’ve always known, and now we can be what we should’ve been all along.
“Why did I ever bring in anyone else?”
That’s kind of a weird way to put it, but I keep nodding anyway, afraid to do anything that will scare off this unavoidable moment we’ve been heading toward since we first met in homeroom all those years ago. I close my eyes and swallow, soaking in the sensation from every single cell where there’s contact between us, still in disbelief that my dream is really coming true.
“So you’ll do it?”
My eyes shoot open at that. “Do what?”
“What we should’ve done from the beginning. You’re already everything else for me, anyway, Gem. Let’s just make it official.”
If he doesn’t hurry up and spit out the words I’ve waited years to hear in the next fourteen seconds, I might get violent here. My eyes tell him to keep talking, and hopefully they leave out the violence part. I’d rather our first kiss not be tainted with my impatience, or the promise of blood. Though I have heard I should expect blood my first time having sex, but that’s not what’s about to happen, is it? A thrill runs through my veins, lighting up every single part of me from within. My thighs clench absentmindedly, and I readjust my legs underneath me to try to cover it up.
“Oh?” I try to sound demure, but it came out a little croaky for my taste. Maybe he didn’t notice?
“Yeah!” He looks genuinely enthused now, leaning forward so our faces are close together and swiping my cheek with that damn thumb. “You should just be my assistant. I should just pay you, and then you don’t have to go to school, and you can get paid to hang out with me all the time. Then I know I have an assistant I can trust, and all our problems are solved.”
I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I let him talk me into it.
Wait, yes I do.
