Have I mentioned that Aaron is a bit of an emo kid? He really was born at the wrong time, he would’ve killed the early 2000s emo phase. But his parents listen to a lot of that stuff, being somewhat of that generation themselves, and their appreciation for it spread to the both of us. We share a particular love for that band New York Ave, you know, the guys that got huge in the 2010s, who are something like a mix of Fall Out Boy and Imagine Dragons, with a little of that Maroon 5 swagger thrown in? You know them, of course you do.
Anyway, don’t ask me how we got started with this little habit of ours, but texting pertinent-to-the-moment NYA lyrics back and forth has been our thing since as far back as I can remember texting with him, maybe ninth grade? We do this thing where one of us (usually him) will text a lyric, usually one that’s poignant to the situation or mood one of us is in (not hard to find one that fits just about any possible feeling, with how many albums they’ve put out), and the other has to finish that lyric. So I do, out of habit, before I can consider the meaning behind the words. And then the texts keep coming.
Me
You’re the reason I’m a walking mess, you
I’m sorry if you think I don’t compare to him (him)
But what would you have me do (do)
You said you’d never leave me but you’re out with him (fuck)
Now I’m here all alone (you)
Is he just saying hi with this text? Does he think he’s being funny? Or is he trying to make me feel bad about the date I’m on? For two people who are so often on the same plane of thought, I’m just lost and confused by his song choice and these messages right now. Why did he pick a song that’s lamenting the singer’s jealousy over the person he wants getting with someone else and being hung up on what he no longer has? Is he telling me something? Just being random and thoughtless? Is this ajoketo him?
Either way, while I’m on this very promising first date with a guy I can see myself liking, all my thoughts are back tohim. And all of a sudden, my spotlight on Spencer’s better qualities is feeling more like a flickering flashlight, and my enthusiasm for this date dims. So does my great mood. And I’m left wondering whether Aaron wishes I wasn’t here, and why he’s thinking of me when I know he’s supposed to be with Kayla right now.
TEN
GEMMA
Three years ago
“I understand, sir.” Aaron’s voice is muted, calmer than usual, not giving anything away, while I practically piss myself, dancing with anticipation as I make dramatic hand gestures to try to get him to elaborate on what he’s being told.
The longer he has his game face on, the more I worry he didn’t get the role. I pace the kitchen, back and forth in front of his many, many cabinets, as I mentally prepare myself for how to cheer him up for losing this role. It’s not like we werecountingon it, per se. It was a long shot to land one of the leads inRough and Tumble. He was up against somestiffcompetition for the younger male lead. Starring with top-tier, established A-list celebrity talent will dowondersfor whoever lands it and their career. It’s the dream role of a generation, and the chances were slim it was going to him. But still. Both of us hoped. Against all odds, we still hoped.
I get ready to console him, as he continues nodding, listening intently to whatever studio exec is on the other end of the line. My checklist is ready to go, the second he hangs up.
Drinks
Video games
So much pizza (don’t tell his trainer)
Marvel movie marathon
Some choice dirty jokes
He raises his body up off the prep island, where he’s been leaning, and ends the call, placing his phone face down on the marble surface, and turns to look at me. The instant our eyes connect, I know. He doesn’t have to say the words, but he does anyway.
“I got it, Gem. I fucking got it.” There’s never been so much joy in two sentences before, and I see it overflowing, liquid starting to spill over the rims of his eyes.
An ear-piercing scream comes out of me, and I start to jump up and down. He laughs, sliding down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs, shaking with laughter.
I fall to the floor next to him, punching his shoulder repeatedly, still screaming God-knows-what in his ear. Wrapping him in a hug of congratulations, he awkwardly readjusts so that he can pull me into the hug even harder than I’m holding him, so I land in his lap. His head is buried in my shoulder, and I don’t know which of our bodies is shaking harder from crying, laughing, sheer elation.
Not only is this his biggest paycheck to date, the exposure, the experience this will be for him is so far beyond anything he’s done to date that he’ll have no choice but to shoot to the top of his field. Imagine when Miles Teller landedTop Gun: Maverick. This is Aaron’sTop Gun: Maverick.
Eventually, we pull back from one another and stand up. Once I’ve wiped my eyes, I try to recover some semblance of dignity. This might be the biggest thing to happen to us since he got his first break, but I don’t need to add to this kid’s ego.
Standing in front of him now, I decide to bring him back down to earth for a second. “I can’t believe they castyouas Jericho.”
He mock scoffs. “What? You don’t think I fit the bill?”
“Your scrawny ass?” I banter back. “I thought the brief on this character was supposed to be some sort of manly, buff ladies’ man? Not a scrawny, nerdy homebody.”
