Nessa hated hearing Tony’s name out loud almost as much as she hated saying it. Thinking about him in any capacity was enough to make her sick to her stomach, but she didn’t want to keep any more secrets from Murphy.
And as much as she wanted to never discuss this topic, letting go of her past was important in order to embrace her future. Despite her reluctance to open up, she understood that.
Nessa snuggled in closer to Murphy, sending him a tight smile as he gaped at her, the bomb she’d just dropped rendering him speechless.
“Fiancé?” he eventually asked, pushing up to an elbow and staring down at her in shock.
“The ‘ex’ part is what you should focus on, okay?Ex-fiancé,” Nessa replied, stressing the first word. “And it wasn’t exactly something I wanted, Murphy.”
How could she explain that she’d been so caught up in her grief, her mental state a complete wreck afterLolo’sdeath, that she’d traded her freedom for shackles without even realizing it?
Just thinking about herlolo’spassing caused emotion to come rushing in, that familiar despair clawing at her like a savage beast before it abruptly abated. Years ago, that same grief would take hold of her for days, refusing to let go until she thought she’d wither away to nothing. Now, it attacked her like a tornado, touching down and causing a volley of pain before it lifted off of her and disappeared.
Murphy shook his head. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her scarred shoulder, placing a tender kiss on her skin that soothed her lingering distress. “No, of course. I’m sorry for interrupting. I was taken aback.”
“It’s okay.”
Nessa sat up, too, keeping the sheets tucked under her arms. Wiping away a stray tear, she sighed. “At first, Tony was very charming. He lavished me with gifts and took an interest in my hobbies. I couldn’t understand why Angelo wasn’t excited when the two of us started dating. I thought Tony was his friend—I had no idea he was a gang leader, or that he’d taken advantage of my brother when my family was vulnerable financially.”
Looking back on it now with a clearer perspective, Nessa saw Angelo’s behavior in a different light. All of his warnings against seeing Tony, his encouragement to find someone else; it hadn’t been because he didn’t want her messing around with one of his friends.
He just hadn’t wanted her mixed up with the wrong people like he was.
Some remnant of her brother had still been inside the man he’d become, but whatever protective instincts he’d held for her, they weren’t enough to shield her from what came next.
In the end, he’d still sided with her abuser, leaving her to fight the hardest battle of her life.
“I don’t really know how it all happened,” Nessa continued, the words tumbling out after so many years of being bottled up. “But one day I was grieving mylolo, and the next, I was living in Tony’s penthouse. He convinced me to drop out of school and stay home. He monitored who I spoke to and was so jealous if I wanted to spend time with my friends.”
She rolled her eyes, judging the younger version of herself for her naïvety, even though she knew that wasn’t fair. “I was flattered by his behavior, if you can believe that. I thought it meant he cared. And afterLolo’sdeath, I was grateful for any compassion or love to fill the void.”
God, verbalizing all the red flags made her feel so stupid. How hadn’t she realized what a despicable man Tony was back then? She’d been blinded by love until it was too late. She’d let herself get swept up in a nightmare disguised as a fairy tale.
“When did you find out he was in a gang?” Murphy asked, taking her hand in his. She glanced down at it, focusing on how much larger his own was and how good it felt in hers.
Everything with Murphy was so different from any relationship she’d had before.
As cheesy as it sounded,thiswas the real fairy tale. Nessa couldn’t have found anyone more protective, more dedicated and caring to share her life with than Murphy. He was everything she’d wanted when she’d fantasized about the perfect man.
Well, okay, she hadn’t exactly fantasized about her Mr. Right being a bear shifter, but it was a definite bonus, especially whenhe and his bear were so great at making her feel cherished and desired.
“I found out about his ‘job’ after I started living with him. He did a lot of business from his home, so his men were always in and out at all hours of the day.” She squeezed Murphy’s fingers, needing comfort as she continued, the darker parts of her past finally coming to light. “One night, I interrupted a meeting he was having with his inner circle. Tony was pissed. That was the first time he hit me.”
Nessa shivered at the memory, and for a split second, she felt Tony’s palm connecting with the side of her face all over again, that stinging pain exploding across her cheek. The phantom sensation was so vivid, she flinched, her heart picking up a wild beat.
Murphy growled low in his throat, the menacing sound matching the golden hue of his irises as they glowed. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. When he opened them, he sat fully up, pulling Nessa toward him until she was sitting between his legs, her ass settled against his groin. Draping his arms around her waist, he rested his head over her shoulder, his cheek pressed to hers.
He held her protectively against him, curling his body around her. Immediately, her rising panic eased before it tapered off into nothing. All she could feel was her mate’s warmth surrounding her and the sense of safety he always provided.
I’ll never go another day afraid again, Nessa thought suddenly, awed by the revelation and surprised that it hadn’t occurred sooner.
Murphy tucked the sheets more firmly around her front before his lips slid to the side of her throat, lingering on her pulse as it returned to a normal tempo.
Silently, he waited.
So, with a shuddering breath, Nessa continued.
“The first time Tony hit me, he apologized, showering me with gifts and flowers. He told me it would never happen again, that he’d been stressed from his meeting. I was only just finding out the kind of operation he was running, and I believed his every word, his every lie and justification, so I stayed. I didn’t tell Angelo about the abuse, but I’ve always wondered if he knew. He’d been around Tony for so long—how could he not see the type of man he was?”
