“Why not? You’ve seen me naked.” Well, mostly. She was still wearing a shirt, but her boobs were a lot less majestic than her vagina, so he’d already seen everything that really mattered.
“I know, and I’m honored you’ve shared yourself with me. I—” Murphy closed his eyes, shaking his head hard. “I’m afraid you’ll be repulsed when you see me.”
Repulsed?How could she ever find Murphy repulsive? The thought was ludicrous.
“Hey.” Nessa cupped his face in both of her hands. “Look at me, Murphy. What’s wrong?”
Slowly, he did, his dark brown eyes full of anguish. “I have scars.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. “Too many. A lot are unpleasant to look at, Nessa.”
Oh, Murphy.
“There is nothing repulsive about you, Murphy.” Nessa kissed him softly, her heart breaking as he took a shuddering breath. “I think you’re handsome, and wonderful, and a bit of a jackasswhen you want to be—”his lips formed into a small smile“—and nothing you can show me will change how I feel about you.”
She paused, a random thought popping into her head. Hoping to lighten the mood, she added, “Unless I ever see your bear again and he’s developed some kind of medical condition where he’s gone bald. A bald bear just feels wrong, you know?”
Murphy laughed abruptly, the hurt she’d seen in his eyes slowly fading. “So you draw the line at bald bears?”
She shrugged. “Depends on how cute your bear is, I guess. Bald is beautiful, and all that. Did you know that with hairless cats and dogs, you’re supposed to rub some kind of lubricant on them to keep their skin moisturized?” She grimaced. “If you think I’m lubing up your bald bear, you’re crazy.”
His brows flew up in mock surprise. “Not even if I ask you nicely?”
“Hm.” She slid her lips over his again, relishing in how easy it felt to do so. “Maybe if you ask mereallynicely.”
Murphy stood suddenly, pulling her up from the couch and into his arms. “Come on, Loch Ness.”
Nessa groaned at the nickname, wrapping herself around him. “Where are we going?”
He stilled for a moment before moving toward the hall. “To take a shower.”
Chapter 25
Relax.Nessa won’t care how bad it is, Murphy silently reminded himself, carrying his mate from the living room and into the large bathroom attached to her bedroom. She was a slight weight in his arms, the feel of her warm body pressed against his easing some of his building apprehension.
A large vanity sat along the far wall, soft lighting coming from the fixtures located just above an oval mirror. Across from it was a small Jacuzzi bath and a shower stall. It wasn’t a large space, and he knew both of them fitting in there would take some maneuvering, but it was doable.
His throat dried, dread gnawing at his gut like a rabid animal, demanding he turn from the room and flee. Maybe he needed to give himself more time before they got to this stage.
Gritting his teeth, Murphy forced his feet to keep moving.
He was an Alpha, damnit!
He refused to run away from any challenge, especially when it involved breaking down the walls that still kept him and Nessa separated. She’d already been so vulnerable, so trusting with him; he could do the same for her.
No, hewoulddo the same. His mate was courageous and strong, and he was determined to be a male of similar worth, no matter how terrified he felt.
Relax.
Murphy took a deep breath, and Nessa’s intoxicating scent filled his lungs, helping to calm some of the storm raging inside him. The taste of her was still on his lips. He focused on that and the comforting weight of her in his arms, instead of the anxiety ripping his insides to shreds, threatening to destroy the decision he’d made only moments before.
It’s fine. Nessa was going to see your scars eventually.
Logically, Murphy knew that. But conceptualizing it and experiencing it were two very different things. He could envision a million different scenarios on how this moment would play out and still be wrong.
What if, despite what she’d said only minutes before, she found his scars disgusting? He did, every single day. They were a stain he couldn’t erase no matter how hard he pretended they didn’t exist; a cruel reminder of how love had blinded him to the truth.
It’s not like that now. Nessa isn’t like that. Trust her like you want her to trust you.
His bear stirred in his mind, chuffing in agreement. It was more than ready to advance their mating with Nessa, and it didn’t understand why Murphy had such a hang-up about his physical form. It didn’t care about scars, only that his body was strong and capable of defending their mate. Of protecting theirclan from any threat that surfaced. But Murphy wasn’t his bear right now, and he needed to face it in his own way.
