She didn’t know why she was even so worked up about going on a date. This wasMurphy. She’d known him for months—had spent the entire week with him. She’d literally had this man’s tongue down her throat less than a day ago and had ridden him like her life depended on it. They’d made each other cum, for crying out loud, and she’d felt amazing afterward. It had felt easy. Natural.
But going on a date apparently made her nervous.
Murphy sat across from her, holding some kind of meat sub up to his mouth, only a few bites remaining. He’d practicallyinhaled it while she’d nibbled on her own sandwich, too much in her own head to really enjoy the taste of it.
He’d taken her to a cute diner near her teahouse, and the place was busy for a Saturday afternoon, the small hum of chatter filling the silence between her and Murphy while they ate.
She didn’t think he minded the noise, and the busyness worked out perfectly; she didn’t feel like anyone was paying them any attention as they sat in their small booth in the corner. The window to her right overlooked the tables scattered on the sidewalk outside.
It was a pretty day; the sun was shining, and there wasn’t much of a breeze, but the temperature was still too cold to sit outside. At least, for her—Murphy probably wouldn’t even notice the chill.
He sat his mostly eaten sub onto his plate, sending her a lazy smile. “I’m sorry about Jasper. I know he’s exasperating.”
Nessa quirked a brow. “Exasperating is a polite way of saying super annoying.”
He laughed, giving her a small shake of his head. “He wasn’t always like that. Believe it or not, when he was little, he was very reserved, especially around people he didn’t know. He liked to play-wrestle with Tank, and he was always witty, but he wasn’t like he is now.”
“Seriously?” A quiet Jasper? She barely knew him, but that seemed extremely inconceivable. Everything about him screamed ‘life of the party.’ Nessa took a bite of her ham sandwich. “How did he become so …” She trailed off, struggling to find the right word.
“Different?” Murphy asked.
That was one way to put it. She’d have gone with ‘demented’ or ‘evil,’ but she was still pissed at the stunt he’d pulled back at Hunny’s place.
Nessa nodded, and he sighed, leaning back in his seat. “After everything with Sachi—Tank nearly dying and me being tortured—I think he sensed that our family was hanging on by a very strenuous thread. He wanted to take our minds off of all the bad things that had happened. Humor was his way of helping us, and probably himself, to cope.”
Nessa’s heart ached at that, Murphy’s words stirring up long-ago memories of her own brother, Angelo. After their parents had died, and they’d gone to live with theirlolo,she remembered accidentally eavesdropping on a conversation between the two of them.
She’d only been seven and hadn’t intended to spy on anyone, but when she’d heard a small sob come from the other room, she’d gotten worried and gone to investigate. When she realized it was Angelo’s pained sounds, she’d stopped dead in her tracks, lingering just outside the doorway to the room. She hadn’t been sure what to do. ButLolohad been with him.
Angelo had been crying, his voice strained as he’d discussed missing their parents.Lolohad consoled him, and then, after he’d quieted down, reminded him about the promise they’d apparently made. To only remember the good, and while it was okay to mourn them in private, to keep a brave face for Nessa to protect her from the harshness of the world for as long as they could.
That had happened so long ago, she’d completely forgotten about it until now. She thought about it, recalling memories of the times she’d asked her big brother about their parents. He’d always smiled affectionately and told her a story about them. A memory. Something silly or sweet, but he’d never seemed sad.
But he’d only hidden his sorrow, she realized now. He’d mourned them without her, all because of a promise he’d made toLolo. Looking back on it, it seemed so cruel to let Angelo bearthat burden alone just to keep her blissfully unaware of what he’d struggled through.
They’d been a family, and while he’d been protecting her, he hadn’t given her the same opportunity to protect him. To help him through his grief. Would things have turned out differently if he had? Would he have confided in her about other things, too, as they’d gotten older? And if he had, would they still have ended up as enemies?
Or would her entire life be different right now?
It was hard to reconcile the brother she’d grown up with, the boy who’d have done anything just to make her smile, with the man he’d become. But he’d made his choices, and in the end, she’d made hers.
Luckily, those choices had led her here. To Montana. To Murphy; her soul mate. If that wasn’t an act of fate, she didn’t know what was. But while she was elated that she’d met Murphy, it didn’t take away the pain that resurfaced at the thought of Angelo.
She cleared her throat, desperately needing to think about something else before she started missing her brother even more. “How old was Jasper when you took over as Alpha?”
“Thirteen. My twin brothers, Reece and Gunnar, were fifteen, I think.”
At that age, there wasn’t much a kid could do to help his family through something so traumatic. But he could make them laugh, could tease them and lighten their moods, which apparently was a mantle Jasper had picked up without hesitation.
Jasper must love his family a lot.
Who was she kidding? Of course, he did. Every Sinclair she’d met had been wonderful and welcoming. They were a tight-knit group, but they’d made Nessa, and definitely Hunny, feel like a member of their family, each in their own way.
Tank, by simply being himself. Jasper, by teasing her like he did everyone else. Tabitha, by being such a sweet, kind woman. Nessa hadn’t met the rest of Murphy’s family, but she could only assume they were all the same in that way.
And now I’m a part of it.
Well, she waskind ofa part of it. She was Murphy’s mate, but they were literally on their first date. Considering herself a member of his family was crazy, wasn’t it?
