That all sounded amazing, so what the hell was she doing, sitting here worrying over nothing? Murphy was less than fifteen feet away from her. Theoretically, it would be so easy to go to him. Instead, Nessa felt rooted to the spot, unable to move.
She bit back a frustrated groan.
She wished she felt confident enough in herself to march out the front door, go out there and get her man. She felt anxious without him, and if she was just going to be thinking about him the whole time anyway, he might as well be right next to her.
But say she gave in to temptation, walked right outside, and … and then what?
What did she actually plan to do? Drop onto his lap and tell him she wanted to cuddle? Kiss him, like she wasn’t terrified she’d freeze up and panic? Beg him to make her feel better like some silly teen?
Ugh! She had no idea what to do with her conflicting emotions.
Spontaneity wasn’t really her thing anymore, and while the thought of going out there, pulling Murphy’s head down, and kissing him until the world faded away was extremely appealing, she didn’t know if she could be that ballsy.
You kissed him last night,she reminded herself, some of her uncertainty disappearing as she recalled just how bold she’d been then.And you invited him to shower with you.
Even if Murphy hadn’t taken her up on the offer—and the small rejection had kind of stung—she’d still done it. She’d still taken those leaps. She’d gone after what she wanted.
Maybe she was far more ballsy than she was giving herself credit for.
“Wooing you sounds super romantic,” Hunny replied softly, drawing Nessa from her thoughts. “What do you think he means by that?”
“Hm? Oh. I don’t know. I assumed he meant going on dates.” She cocked her head to the side. “Does it mean something else in the shifter world?”
Hunny wrinkled her nose. “Dating isn’t really a thing in our world, I guess. I mean, it happens, obviously. We go out togetherand such. But we can scent if someone is interested in us, so that kind of eliminates the need for dating and wooing.”
“Wait, so you all just smell that someone is interested in you sexually, and then …” Nessa trailed off, unsure of how to finish her sentence. She almost clapped her hands together, as if that was in any way some kind of sexual indication.
“And then we have sex with them.” Hunny nodded, confirming her suspicion. “When we all know there is a true mate out there somewhere, starting a relationship with someone else isn’t typically done unless there are extenuating circumstances. But everyone still has urges, so casual sex is a lot more common in our society.”
“Oh, wow. That’s … good to know,” Nessa finished, a thought intruding unbidden. Before she could resist the urge, she asked, “So what does it smell like when someone’s interested in you? I mean, is it just like”—she pointed toward her crotch—“more potent down there? Or is it something else?”
Hunny’s lips twitched. “Morepotent?”
Nessa balked. “You know what I mean.”
“I guess ‘potent’ is a good word for it. Desire carries a scent, just like every emotion. It smells like sex, yes, but it’s deeper than that. It’s sweeter. More intense.”
“Isn’t that weird for you? I mean, knowing two people want to bone each other with just a whiff of your nose?”
Nessa couldn’t imagine having that ability and knowing when a loved one was about to get it on with someone else.
The rabbit shifter laughed before shaking her head. “Not really. Having such a strong sense of smell is so natural to me, I think my brain just processes the scents as more of an afterthought than anything else. It’s kind of like when you’re driving. You see different cars every day, but you’re so used to it, they don’t really register unless you’re looking for a specific make and model.”
Oh.“That makes a lot of sense, actually.”
“Yeah—” Hunny’s head whipped toward the front door as she stilled. The movement was unexpected, and immediately Nessa was vigilant, the past rushing back toward her at breakneck speed. A second later, Hunny relaxed, and Nessa felt like she could breathe again. “Sounds like we’re about to have company. Some bears are here to see Murphy.”
She followed Hunny’s gaze to the front door. “Friends, I hope?”
“Oh, yeah.” Hunny smiled, picking up another puzzle piece. “You’re okay with guests, right? I know after everything, you’ve kept your distance, but these are good people. I think you’ve met one, if not all, of them before at your teahouse.”
Vaguely, Nessa recalled the men Murphy and Tank had brought with them for that meeting with Jason, but their faces were blurry, and aside from Marcus, she didn’t remember any names.
“If you don’t want them in here, I’ll tell Tank I don’t want any visitors,” Hunny offered lowly. “Though, from what I’m hearing, Murphy’s mom Tabitha is here, too, and I don’t know if turning her away is a good call. She was your doctor after the attack.”
“Right. I …” Nessa trailed off, anxiety clawing up her throat. She swallowed thickly, but it did little to help the tension coursing through her. The last time she’d met Murphy’s mom, she’d essentially given her the silent treatment, too lost in her own head and pain to do much else than feel sorry for herself. Would his mom hold that against her?
She hoped not. But what if she made another bad impression and Tabitha thought she was a terrible choice of partner for Murphy? What if they all did?
