“Right,” I agree, but the geek in me has to share what I’m learning. I’ve always been that way, especially compared to Luke, who avoids serious conversation like it’s contagious. And the fact is, I don’t want to come all this way only to get involved with someone who doesn’t let me know if I’m doing something wrong.
“From what I’m reading,” I venture, “we’ve got to draw a line up front and not tolerate the behavior to begin with. It’s how we give the other person a chance to improve. Andwe’rebetter because of it, too, for a lot of reasons.” I decide not to list those reasons; I don’t want it to come off like a lecture since I’m only learning this stuff myself. But standing up for ourselves is vital to mental health, confidence, and trust in a relationship. If we’re hiding our hurt or offense, we’re breaking that trust.
“That sounds like good advice. In fact,” she says with a new lift in her voice. “I’m learning to assert myself too. I mean, not right here, like, tonight with you, but…in life in general. It’s something I’m working on.”
I nod as I take that in, liking that we seem to be on a similar path.
"Okay,” I say. “I think we can put a bright green checkmark next to thefailed marriagebox, don't you?"
Ashley chuckles and bumps my shoulder. Her sweet fragrance infuses my next breath. "In more ways than one," she says playfully.
I tip my head back with a laugh. "Yes, we both survived a failed marriage, and now we've very briefly discussed it. Now to sweep it under the metaphorical rug and talk about more pleasant things."
"Like midlife crises?" she says.
"A very pleasant topic when you consider that mine rewarded me with a convertible Ferrari."
"Ah, so cliché. Except, aren’t you supposed to be balding before you resort to that?” She pauses to inspect me. “You have too much hair and too much muscle mass. And your good looks have yet to slip away, so maybe this wasn't so much about a midlife crisis as it was…" She drops off there and I fill in for her.
"Ego? Greed? Immaturity?"
“I was going to say adventure, but we’ll let your conclusions stand."
“Me and my big mouth.” I shoot her a look. “You're not old enough to have gone through a midlife crisis," I decide.
"I would've thought so too, seeing that I’m a whole two-and-a-half years younger than you, but Lucy recently told me that midlife crises typically happen between the ages of forty and sixty."
"Hmm, it sounds like we’ve made it to our next category: Keeping up with the teenagers. Unless your daughter was searching up the whole crisis thing for a reason, and what does thecliché crisis for womenlook like?"
Ashley shrugs. "Liposuction? A facelift? A date with the pool boy?"
I can't let that one slip. "I never figured you for a cougar,” I say, “but I suppose with as young as you look, itcouldbe a problem."
"I have zero cougar tendencies,” she says, “trust me. But it would probably serve me better if I did. I'm sure if I got with somebody much younger, I'd naturally have more of a voice."
It's a reference to the issue she brought up over her failed marriage. I picture Ross bossing her around with his politically polished face, and my fist balls up. I force my mind back to the cougar topic.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the reason teenage boys walk around with shirts that sayI love hot moms." And I am not kidding in the least. If I'm being fair, Gabrielle is a beauty in her own right, but she's also a man-eater. Which means she’d eat young thugs for lunch and spit them out in time for supper.
"What do you think anon-cliché midlife crisis for a woman looks like?" I ask, hoping to glean a bit more.
Ashley tilts her head, looking thoughtful for a blink. "Good question. Maybe it could be defined as someone who let a TikTok, their seventeen-year-old daughter showed them, rewrite their entire course in life?"
“Wow,” I say. “What an oddly specific answer. I can’t wait to hear the story behind it.”
Ashley shakes her head. “Oh, there’s no story. That was purely hypothetical." She rakes her fingers through her silky-looking hair and tugs a scrunchie off her wrist. She proceeds to gather her hair at the back of her head as she continues. It sends that intoxicating scent of hers in my direction like I just walked past an apple orchard rich with fruit.
“Okay, so Lucy shows up in my room which is actually part office, and part craft room. Even though I’m flat on the futon with the lights out, right in the middle of not being able to sleep, I might add, she tells me I have to watch this TikTok right then.”
I chuckle a little, remembering this humorous side of Ashley. It makes me miss her in a way I can't begin to explain. My smilewidens, and my body angles toward her in preparation for more. "Okay," I urge.
"At first, I think it's going to be a joke because it's some young stud of a guy acting like he has some life-changing tidbit for the world. But then I realize he's interviewing his grandmother, who happens to be Vanessa Kaylee.
“He asks her what piece of advice she’d give to her younger self, and for whatever reason, it actuallydidspeak to me. It had me feeling motivated and listing out all the changes I want to make in my life, and it all stemmed from this one woman's short piece of advice."
I scoot closer in anticipation. "What was it?"
She looks at me, holding my gaze while intrigue and mystery dance in her warm, moonlit eyes. "It’s,say yes."
