“But then he started noticing her watching him as he worked.”
Heat burns in my chest.This is not funny.
“Maggie would stride in with a mug of coffee and make comments about his strong, muscled physique, and Braxton liked that.”
My eyes double in size. My jaw drops so hard it would take a crane to lift it off the floor. The embarrassment pulsing through my veins is hot enough to catch fire with my next breath.
Ding.
“At least, that’s howMr. Cockysaw it,” I say. “Poor guy is so in love with himself, he can’t help but think everyone else isadmiring him too. Maggie, as any responsible person would do,didcheck in on Braxton’s handiwork. And shedidgive him credit where credit was due. Still, when she’d say that the base of the boat looked sturdy and strong, Braxton heard hisownversion of that compliment. In his mind, Maggie was saying that his biceps, triceps, and oversized neck of his looked sturdy and strong.”
“Oversized neck?” Braxton mouths, scratching beneath his jaw with a puzzled look in his eye.
“He wassoconfident that she was starting to like him, in fact, that Braxton started to repay the imagined favor by telling Maggie how hot she looked each day.”
Ding.
Take that, Braxton.
“It wasn’t hard to do,” Braxton says, eyeing me up and down in a roguish manner.
Heat springs in new places now, warm and tingly sparks low in my tummy.
“Shedidlook good each day,” he continues, “and well, she knew it. One day, however, while Braxton was busy working and Maggie was nearby, he spotted an eight-legged creature crawling down her back. She was bent far over to fasten the straps of her shoes while singing to whatever song played from the earbuds she wore—probably Metallica. But I digress; there was a spider headed for Maggie’s caboose, and Braxton needed to act quickly. He knew just what he needed to do.”
I groan inwardly, willing JJ to give it back to me, but the woman looks far too intrigued. In fact, the entire group leansforward in a collective motion as if a human magnet has just waved its magic wand from the stage.
He clears his throat and continues. “Big, strong Braxton dropped his tools, dusted his hands on his jeans, and rushed with superhero speed toward the woman in need of his services. The spider seemed to grow bigger with every step he took, creepily moving down her lower back with its hairy legs and big, googly eyes. He got there just as the venomous thing rounded her backside and bared its dagger-sharp teeth. Without delay, Braxton bravely lifted his hand and swatted that thing right off her tush with a solid smack.”
The crowd hoots and hollers.
“Maggie spun quickly around to face him. Braxton was ready to explain why he’d done it, knowing she’d be livid, but before he could form the words, the expression on her face stopped him short.”
My brow furrows while I wait for him to elaborate. I prop a fist on one hip.
“She wasn’t scowling at him and she wasn’t looking at him in question. Instead, Maggie was smiling at him and batting her lashes. Which could mean only one thing.” Braxton leans in to finish his sentence, eyes pinned on me. “Shelikedit!”
I gasp.
Ding.
I dart glances throughout the crowd, catching mirth and amusement on every face in the house. These aremypatrons. I can’t lose my cool up here, and I’ll be danged if I let him get the best of me. “What silly Braxton didn’t realize is that she wasn’t fastening her shoes at all. Maggie had simply trippedwhile trying to navigate the wreckage of his workspace—scattered tools, knotted electric cords, and takeout bags galore.”
“Galore?” he repeats under his breath.
I pin a look on him and continue. “So, imagine her surprise when, instead of helping her up as any gentleman would, Braxton swatted her rear end with his grubby hand. Then, when she spun around, all wide-eyed and furious, Braxton didn’t bother explaining he’d seen a spider. He just gave her a slimy grin and said, ‘You liked that, didn’t you?’
“But she didn’t like it, so she did what any self-respecting woman would do; she gave him a well-deserved slap across the cheek.”
The audience is really laughing now, which gives me the confidence to give them more. Sadly, JJ hands it over with the press of her thumb.
Ding.
Braxton steps closer, eyes pinned on me. “She gave him a slap, all right, a moment before rushing in for a hot, urgent kiss.” Braxton glides his fingertips over his lips and grins. “Mmm.”
Someone uses their horn to sound out a long, theatrical catcall.
Ding.
