“He seems to be so far,” Maggie says with a shrug.
“Well, Mom, remember how you said I could watchSilence of the Lambs,but Dad said no.”
I nod. “Yes.”
“And you said that as soon as I turned sixteen, we could watch it together while Dad was out of town.”
“Right.”
“But we haven’t yet, and Beau says that when Paige goes to bed…”
“Which isn’t for a long time,” Paige blurts in the background, making me chuckle.
“That we could all watch it together, if you’re game.”
I pause for a moment, not sure exactly what he’s asking. “You mean if I’m game to let you watch it?”
He laughs. “No, if you’re game to come watch it with us. You said you wanted to watch it with me because it’s a classic.”
“Itisa classic.”
I try to ignore the fact that Maggie is jumping up and down and gasping with excitement. “You better do it,” she mouths at me.
“Jack?” I say, making sure he’s still there.
“Just a second, Mom.” His voice gets distant. “Okay. Beau says if you hurry over now, you can have pizza with us before Paige goes to bed.”
“And I can sing for her!” Paige volunteers.
“What do you say?”
The butterflies in my stomach are saying it all. I’m nervous at the thought of being over there with big, strong Beau and all of his glory in their huge and perfect house. But as Jack would say, I have a strong case of FOMO, and I do not want to miss out.
“Sure,” I say, trying to squelch my inner squeal.
“Nice! See you soon.”
As soon as he disconnects the line, I let that squeal loose and clasp my hands together. “I guess I’m going.”
“Can I give youonepiece of advice?” Maggie asks as she eyes me up and down. “Don’t change even one thing about your appearance right now. In fact…” She puts up a finger, darts to my makeup drawer, and retrieves just two items. Blush, which she swirls over my cheek with the brush. And lip gloss, which she also insists on applying.
When she’s done, she steps back. “Do you trust me?”
I glance down at my red converse shoes, tattered old jeans, and concert tee. Strands of hair have escaped my ponytail and the bandanna alike, hanging loosely around my face.
I know what she means by her question. She’s asking me not to look in the mirror before I go. If I do, I’ll get critical and obsess over what I look like and waste a lot of time I could be spending with the boys and Paige. And the fact is, Maggie has made me feel beautiful. And the beauty of it is, it’s what I’m most comfortable in. It’s me being me. And there’s something liberating about that. I have wings now, do I? Maybe it really is time to fly.
“Yes,” I say at last. “I’m ready.”
CHAPTER18
Beau
Paige clutches her pink microphone like a rockstar as she belts out a Taylor Swift number, karaoke style. The words play on the screen behind her, but Paige doesn’t need them. She’s too busy performing.
I don’t know if she rehearses this stuff or just studies what the performers do, but I could swear it’s choreographed. Staring into the distance for dramatic effect. Sweeping her arm over her head before bringing it down with a fist over her heart. I swear she’s about to produce real tears. I’m simultaneously impressed and terrified; she’s growing up too fast.
My eyes dart in Kirsten’s direction for the millionth time since she arrived. Over the last month or so, I’ve tried dissecting my feelings for her; was it something akin to a crush, or was it just a case of trauma bonding? But as she walked in looking the way she does tonight, the answer hit me with a vengeance—I like her. Ireallylike her.
